Tattoo Day Jokes
12 tattoo day jokes and hilarious tattoo day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about tattoo day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tattoo Day Short Jokes
Short tattoo day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tattoo day humour may include short tattoos jokes also.
- The other day the wife asked me where is the best place to get eyebrow tattoos done. I told here, just above the eyes...
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Tattoo Day One Liners
Which tattoo day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tattoo day? I can suggest the ones about wedding day and tattoo artist.
- I almost got a tattoo of my life motto the other day. "Never back out".
Tattoo Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about tattoo day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beautiful day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tattoo day pranks.
A guy asks for a tattoo on his........
A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his private parts. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.
He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
A man went to a tattooist and requested a tally mark on his back
Every couple of weeks, the same customer came in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever-growing cluster of tally marks. One day, the tattooist decides to ask: "What are you counting?"
The man says: "The number of tattoos i've gotten"
I lost my wedding ring the other day
Had a quick check under the sofa but wasn't really that bothered until the missus came home and told me to look harder.
So I got a tattoo and s**... my head but I still couldn't find it.
Once I went to a tattoo Parlour that said temporary tattoo Parlour.
So, I got one tattoo.
The next day it didn't go when I washed it.
When I went to the tattoo Parlour again, that the tattoo wasn't temporary after all, the shop wasn't there.
An old woman joins a gang.
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.
She went to a bar where she new they hung out and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms was at the entrance.
She proclaims "I want to join your biker club."
The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her "You have a bike?"
The little old lady says "Yea, that's my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the parking lot.
The biker asks her "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady says "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is impressed and asks "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?"
The little old lady says "No, never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my n**... a few times."
The ladder to success
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess".
It was Christmas Eve and my wife came home after a busy day of shopping...
As we were getting undressed for bed, I noticed a mark on the inside of her leg.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I went to a tattoo parlor today and on the inside of one leg, I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas' and on the inside of the other one, they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'"
Perplexed, I asked, "Why did you do that?"
"Well..." she replied. "Now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years."
Jamaican Nudest Tattoo
A white guy takes a vacation at a Jamaican nudest resort. He sits at the bar next to a local. The Jamaican notices the white guy has the letters "WY" tattooed on his junk. He asks, "What does that mean." The white guy responds, "My wife's name is Wendy so when I get hard it spells it out." The white guy then notices his new friend has the same thing tattooed on his junk. The white guy asks, "Oh is your wife named Wendy too?" The Jamaican laughs and says, "No man, when I get hard it say 'Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day'!"
W E N D Y
A couple just got married and before their honeymoon to Jamaica the young man decided to get his new gals name tattooed on his junk, forever marking it as belonging to her. Normally only the W and Y are visible, but when he gets excited it spells out W E N D Y.
While in Jamaica they decided to visit a n**... beach, and while at the beach the young guy couldn't help but spot a local with what he thought was the same tattoo. He walks up to the local and asks, "Hey man, do you also have a girlfriend named Wendy? It seems we have matching tattoos!" The Jamaican replies, " Na mon, mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day.'"
