Tattoo Artist Jokes
36 tattoo artist jokes and hilarious tattoo artist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tattoo artist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Tattoo Artist Short Jokes
Short tattoo artist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tattoo artist humour may include short tattoos jokes also.
- In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business. Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!
- When I asked the tattoo artist to cover my arms with flames, they refused. I don't have a firearms permit.
- I got a tattoo... The tattoo reads "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
My tattoo artist wasn't as pleased about the version I gave him. - What did the roman tattoo artist said to his best friend when he entered the studio? A tattoo, Brutus?
- "Smallest snake I ever drew" said the tattoo artist. You didn't say that when it was in your mouth.
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Tattoo Artist One Liners
Which tattoo artist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tattoo artist? I can suggest the ones about sketch artist and artist.
- Where do tattoo artists connect? InkedIn
- What do you call a dwarf tattoo artist? An Inkling.
- I got my birthdate tattooed, the artist really did a number on me.
- What do you call a tattoo artist who loves bananas and fights crime? Nananananana Tatman!
- What's it called when a stripper and a tattoo artist trade services? t**... for tat.
- Why did the woman flash the tattoo artist. It was t**... for tat.
- Did you hear about the tattoo artist offering free ink for lap dances? It was t**... for Tat
Tattoo Artist Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about tattoo artist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean martial artist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tattoo artist pranks.
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman gets a free tattoo after showing the artist one of her b**....
It was a t**...-for-tat situation.
A guy asks for a tattoo on his........
A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his private parts. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.
He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tatoos of Elvis
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely w**... Nelson."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman walks into a tattoo shop...
After her session, she lifts her shirt.
Woman: "I trust these will cover it?"
Artist: "Wh-what are you doing?"
Woman: "I'm paying you."
Artist: "I'm confused."
Woman: "You know? t**... for tat."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do h**... and tattoo artists have in common?
The minimum is $60, unless you're willing to risk catching a disease.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked a tattoo artist to tattoo a picture of a pigeon into my p**... region.
He took a look at the picture and agreed to do it for $120.
It looked amazing. So, a couple weeks later, I went back and asked him to give me a matching tattoo on my palm. He looked again at the picture and said, That will be $240.
I said, Why the price jump? You did the exact same design last time for only $120.
He told me, A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Geometry professor goes into a tattoo shop and asks to get π on his back.
After a few hours he asks the tattoo artist, "Why is it taking so long to do the symbol for pi?" "Oh!" said the artist, surprised. "You wanted the *symbol*."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know the smallest things can get you fired, one time I got fired because I ripped up a c**... drawing I did
Boy am I never gonna be a tattoo artist again
A man walks in a tattoo shop
And tells a tattoo artist:
Hey, i'm a bus driver, so i want a big and beautiful bus on my back.
Artist says No problem and gets to work. 10 minutes later he backs off and tells him Here you go, its done. What, already? asks the surprised man. Well, what did you expect? There is only 3 letters!
A guy walks into a tattoo parlor
He gets a nice tattoo of his daughters name. The guy comes back the next week and gets just a dash on his arm. He keeps coming back each week getting another dash.
Eventually the tattoo artist asks him what he's doing. The guy replies "Keeping count."
"Of what?" the tattoo artist asks.
"How many tattoos I've got."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wouldn't give my girlfriend money to get a tattoo, so she got one anyway and paid for it by letting the tattoo artist play with her b**... just to get back at me.
It was a real t**...-for-tat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm thinking about getting a job as a tattoo artist.
I s**... at drawing and could use the practice.
What's the difference between a therapist and a tattoo artist?
You go to a therapist when you want to get something off your chest, and you go to a tattoo artist when you want to get something on your chest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My tattoo artist made a mistake and gave me a t**... instead...
Sorry, I can't show it here.
Tank
A joke I translated from Latvian.
Man walks into a tattoo saloon, walks up to the artist says 'I want a big tattoo of a tank all across my back'. 'Say no more' says the artist and starts tattooing. 30 minutes pass. Artist gets up..'all done sir'. 'That was quick! ' says the man. Artist looks at him and goes 'it's okay, it's only 4 letters'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I may be Jesus. Because today, I realized he and I have something crazy in common...
See I have a tattoo on my back of a Cross. I will be walking around until I did with a Cross on my back. "Okay, A lot of people have Cross tattoos on their back, why do you think you are Jesus?"
Well, the tattoo artist who caused all the pain and put the Cross on my back was Jewish...Crazy right. My name is Jeff, so I always say, "What Would Jefus do?"