Tastes Jokes

What are some Tastes jokes?

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister

It tastes the same but it's just not right.

Human drinks a Vampire's blood. Out of curiosity, the Vampire asks what it tastes like.

"It's irony."

A man spits out his coffee

"This tastes like mud!" he said.
"Well of course. It was just ground this morning" replied the waiter.

I said to a fat girl today...

I said to a fat girl today,

"You're a big girl!"

She replied, "Tell me something I don't know."

I said, "Salad tastes nice"

Imagine the guy who invented maple syrup...

Hey this tree tastes way better than the last 10 trees I sucked!

What does alcohol free beer taste like?

Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.

A man named Eric Cole...

... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.

Non-alcoholic beer is like eating out your sister.

It tastes the same but it's still wrong.

This coffee tastes like dirt

Well it was ground this morning

You'd think glass would taste like rocks..

But it just tastes like blood.

People say cannibals are disgusting human beings

But this one tastes pretty good

A lady at a tea shop

A lady went to a tea shop and ordered a cup of tea, she has a sip, and realizes that it was amazing! She asks the owner of the place, "wow! Your tea tastes great! Why is it so good?"

The owner replies "thanks! It's my specialtea!"

Why do black people eat fried chicken?

Because it tastes good.

Finally realized why the end of my rifle always tastes so salty

Because whenever I put it in my mouth I'm always crying

Jesus was obviously white.

He even tastes like crackers!

One day an auto mechanic was working under a car...

and some brake fluid accidentally dripped into his mouth.

"Wow," he thought to himself. "That stuff tastes good!"

The next day he told a friend about his amazing discovery.

"It's really good," he said. "I think I'll have a little more today."

His friend was concerned but didn't say anything. The next day the mechanic told his friend he'd drunk an entire cup full of the brake fluid.

"It's great stuff!"

A few days later he was up to a bottle a day. And now his friend was really worried.

"Don't you know brake fluid is toxic? It's very bad for you," said the friend. "You'd better stop drinking it."

"Hey, no problem," he said. "I can stop any time."

An old woman drinks whisky for the first time.

She thinks for a while, and then says: Strange, the stuff tastes exactly like the medicine my late husband had to take for twenty years!

I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night...

"You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said.

"Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye.

"Salad tastes nice."

Non alcoholic beer is like eating out your sister

Tastes the same as others, but it just isn't right...

I'm dating an older woman. When i go down you know what it tastes like?


Pineapple on pizza is like going down on your cousin.

It tastes good, but something ain't right.

What is something that tastes better than it smells?

A tongue

What's red and tastes like blue paint?

Red paint

I wanted to improve my cooking skills, so I finally decided to cook my way through Julia Child's cookbook

I'm on page 122, but no matter how much butter I use, it still just tastes like paper.

Sex is kinda like pizza...

It tastes better without rubber.

What do you call something that looks like pasta, and tastes like pasta, but isn't pasta?

An impasta.

Of all the things a man should never say while going down on a woman, the worst is probably:

"Tastes just like mom used to make it."

Finest whisky! NSFW (Long)

Paddy finds bottle on beach. Rubs it and Genie appears and offers him one wish. "I'd like to pee the finest Irish whisky," says Paddy.

"Granted!", says the Genie. Paddy pees in a cup, tastes it and is taken aback. "This is the finest whisky I've ever tasted." He rushes home, tells his wife (who is a bit dubious at first -- but when he finally tries a sip, she agrees that it's the best whisky she's ever tasted.) They spend the night sipping the limitless supply of free whisky.

Next night Paddy comes home from work and his wife tells him she has two large glasses ready on the kitchen table. "We'll only need one," says Paddy. "You're drinking straight from the bottle tonight!"

Shredded cabbage tastes better than unshredded cabbage

Cole's Law

Alcohol Free Beer

Is a lot like going down on your sister.
It tastes the same but it's just plain wrong.

Bacon is like a woman

it looks good

it smells good

it tastes good

and it slowly kills men

What's silver and tastes like blood?

Razor Blades!

What is the only thing the autocanabalist wanted to talk about?

How good his leg tastes... I mean honestly he is just so full of himself!

What tastes good but doesn't smell good?

A tongue.


A man eating in a restaurant calls the waiter over.

The man tells the waiter, this restaurant must have a very clean kitchen!
Thank you sir, how did you know?
Everything tastes like soap.

Two cannibals are eating an actor

One turns to the other and says "Tastes pretty overdone to me"

Drinking beer without alcohol is like eating out your sister...

tastes right, but trust me: its wrong!

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

What do O'douls and going down on your sister have in common? (NSFW)

It tastes the same but it's just not quite right.

My doctor suggested I use ice to reduce the pain.

But I think this whiskey tastes just fine without it.

Looks like coke

Tastes like coke, smells like AHHHHWHATAMIDOINGWITHMYLIFE

I had my first taste of sobriety this week

It's an odd name for a beer, but it tastes really good. Highly recommend.

What did the whale say after eating the boat?

"This tastes like ship."

[True story] I ordered fresh tilapia with my groceries from the supermarket, but they gave me frozen instead

Tastes like carp.

A brunette, A redhead, and A blonde....

Enter an elevator and spot something on the floor.

The brunette immediately says "Eww, that's sperm".

The redhead, touches it with her index finger and rubs it with her thumb together and says "Yup, definitely sperm".

The blonde, touches it, rubs it between her fingers and tastes it and says: "Yup, definitely sperm, and it's not from anyone in this building."

What is the difference between a freshly made pizza and a hungry jungle tiger?

One tastes delicious to you and you taste delicious to one.

"I'd like to return this gum, it tastes awful"

"Um, sir, those are bandaids."

"I'd like to return these bandaids. I think someone ate some."

I've always said candy tastes best coming from strangers.

None of the kids at the playground listened to me though.

A man sits down at a restaurant...

and orders a coffee. The waiter brings it back to the man who takes a sip and immediately proclaims that the coffee tastes like dirt. The waiter responds, "It's fresh ground."

Jesus must be white.

'cause he tastes like a cracker.

LPT: When cooking chicken, it needs a lot of support

Alone, it tastes absolutely fowl.

Q: How do you know if a chef is a clown?

A: The food tastes funny.

How do you know when your chickens gone bad?

It tastes fowl.

Two cannibals are eating a guy...

They decide to split him up into halves. One cannibal takes the top and the other takes the bottom. The cannibal on the bottom asks the one eating the top half how it tastes.

"Good, can't complain." he replies

The cannibal on top asks the cannibal eating the lower half how it's going.

"Great! I'm having a ball!"

if it looks like bread, smells like bread, and tastes like bread...

it's probably the flesh of a 2000 year old messiah

What do you call tea that tastes like freedom?


(Im not sorry)

How to make Tastes jokes?

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