The Best 96 Taste Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Taste jokes. There are some taste gamey jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these taste bad taste christmas puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Taste Jokes and Puns
YUK!
A man walks in on his daughter pleasuring her-self with a cucumber.
He yells at her: "Oh god, that's disgusting! I was going to eat that, and now it's gonna taste of cucumber"
A guy walks into a bar...
sits down and orders 10 shots one after the other without saying anything.
When he finally stops, the bartender is curious and asks him what the shots were for.
"My first blow job" the man replies.
"Oh" the bartender says, "Well then in that case let me give you one on the house."
"No, thanks," the man says "if 10 can't get the taste out of my mouth 11 sure won't."
So a guy walks in on his daughter masterbating with a cucumber.
"SICK!" he said.
"I was going to eat that.... Now it's going to taste like cucumber."
What's the worst thing for a cannibal to say to a friend?
Your family has impeccable taste.
I've been to a mate's funeral today; he drowned last week...
I got a lot of abuse for my floral tribute in the shape of a life belt.
They said it was in bad taste but I think it's what he would have wanted.
Have you ever tasted a baby wookie?
It's good, but still a little Chewie.
7 shots
So a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 7 vodka shots
The bartender asks the man what's the special occasion the man says
" I just experienced my first blow job" .
And the bartender says "congrats how about a 8th shot on the house" and the man goes
" if 7 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth I don't know what will
What does non-alcoholic beer and going down on you cousin have in common?
Sure they taste the same, but it just ain't right.
Taste the soup
A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.
The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!
A guy walks into a bar
He orders 9 scotches, straight up.
Bartender: "Wow, that's a a lot of scotch. You must be celebrating?"
Guy: "Yes. My first blow job."
Bartender: "Well then, the tenth one is me!"
Guy: "If the first nine don't get the taste out of my mouth, ten won't either."
I wanted to be a gynecologist, but I failed medical school in the last semester.
I was so close I could taste it.
You can explore taste palate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean taste flavour dad jokes. There are also taste puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Smart pills
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, ''What is that?''
''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter.
So he ate them and said, ''These taste like crap.''
''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're getting smarter already.''
What does alcohol free beer taste like?
Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.
I took a blind taste test today
Turns out they taste just like regular people
A tasteless joke.
People who can't hear are called deaf.
People who can't see are called blind.
People who can't talk are called mute.
What do you call people that can't taste food?
Ethiopian
A man walks into a bar and orders 11 shots.
The the bartender pours the shots and asks the man what the occasion is. The man says "First time for a blow job today." The bartender congratulated the man and said "For such an occasion, I'll add a 12th shot on the house." The man said "Nah, don't worry about it. If 11 doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, 12 won't either."
TIL: Due to the placebo effect, if you tilt your head back, close your eyes, and pretend as if you're shaking a salt-shaker into your mouth, your brain will cause you to actually taste salt
Classic dad joke, but in bad taste
So we were having a family dinner for the first time in a while.
My mum was saying how terrible the situation in Nepal is, when my Dad says "it's nepalling isn't it?"
I had a good laugh, feeling guilty after :(
A dad walks into his daughter's room and saw her fapping with a cucumber, he said:
Hey! I was going to eat that, now it's going to taste like cucumber!
a stepfather walks in on his stepdaughter
a stepfather walks into his stepdaughter's room, as he walks in he sees his stepdaughter pleasuring herself with a cucumber, in disgust he leaves her room as fast as possible
he then says,"dammit I was gonna eat that!..................
now it will taste like cucumber"
Monica Lewinsky is going to vote for Bernie
The last time a Clinton was in office it left a bad taste in her mouth.
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
One turns to the other and asks, "*does this taste funny to you?*"
The other responds, "*no.*"
Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency:
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."
why don't foot fetishists ever win anything?
because they like the taste of defeat.
i'm not even sorry.
Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election
She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Mainly, the taste.
Why do Vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from.
Monica said she wasn't voting for Hilary...
because the last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth
The Sperm is made up of Glucose........
MBBS Professor:
The Sperm is made up of Glucose, the same material Sugar is made of.
A Girl raised her hand:
"Then why doesn't it
taste like Sugar?"
Suddenly silence in hall.
Girl:Oops.
Then Professor's reply was also a Medical master piece:
My dear, Thats because, the taste buds are located on the tip of your Tongue and not at the end of your Throat
Killer .
How can a redneck tell his twin sisters apart?
By taste.
When someone botched a joke.
Teacher: "Two cannibals are eating a clown. One clown says to the other 'does this taste funny?' "
Class: "umm"
Me to friend: "that was like a dead baby..."
Friend: "what?"
Me: "poor delivery"
This is probably the first joke I actually came up with myself. It felt good.
Say what you want about Cannibals
but they have a great taste in people.
WAITER: "Yes, is there something wrong?"
WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."
WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"
WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it."
Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
CUSTOMER: "Ah ha!!"
A son runs to his dad screaming: "Dad, I think I'm gay!"
The dad says: "And why's that?"
The child replies: "I think that Justin Bieber is kinda hot..."
The dad then says: "That doesn't mean you're gay, you just have a really bad taste in women!"
NSFW Dad walks into a room
And sees his daughter masturbating with a carrot.
"Daamn" - he says: "I was going to eat that later! And now it's gonna taste like carrots!!!"
I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating
I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.
"Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"
A man walks into a bar and orders ten shots of whiskey.
The bartender asks what is the occasion.
The man replies 'his first blowjob'
The bartender congrats him and offers to buy him another shot
The man says that is unnecessary, if ten shots doesn't get the taste out of his mouth, one more won't make a difference.
You'd think glass would taste like rocks..
But it just tastes like blood.
Did you hear about the missionary who went to visit the cannibals?
He gave them their first taste of Christianity.
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
Cannibal 1: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Cannibal 2: "Not at all, and there's plenty to go around!"
Why don't people with foot fetishes mind being on the losing side of a battle?
They like the taste of defeat
Crayons are just like M&Ms....
They taste the same no matter what colour they are.
Man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of Jägermeister
Man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of Jägermeister.
The bartender looks at him and says "Wow 6 shots of Jäger! You must be celebrating something."
The man replies,"You bet I am! I am celebrating my first blow job."
"Hey congrats man!" says the Bartender "I'll get you a 7th shot on the house"
The man replies "No thank you. If 6 shots of Jäger doesn't get rid of this taste nothing will."
Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks?
Because they're a little meteor
A man walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar and orders 11 shots of tequila, the bartender asks
"oh, is there an occasion for this?"
The man says "I had my first blow job"
Bartender says "well in that case I'll give you another on the house!"
The man replies "no thanks, if 11 don't get the taste out of my mouth then nothing will"
What does 69 taste like to a 69 year old?
Depends...
I caught my sister masturbating with a carrot
I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later...
And now it's gonna taste like carrot....
What is the difference between a prostitute and EA?
Both have expensive loot boxes we have to pay for however it's prostitutes who end up with a bad taste in their mouths not their clients.
Man walks into a bar
and orders 10 shots of tequila. Bartender surprised by the order asks what's the occasion? The man says "I just had my first blow job". With cheer in his voice bartender says "well if it's so, then I'll throw in 1 on the house". the mans says "if 10 shots can't wash that taste out of my mouth, I doubt 11 will"
What do Tide Pods taste like?
Natural Selection.
Guy at a restaurant orders a soup
Some random guy orders a soup in the restaurant and the waiter brings him the soup. Right after the waiter leaves the table the guy calls him back and says "Try the soup" the waiter asks "What's the matter, is it too salty?" guy says "Go ahead and taste it" and the waiter asks "Is it too spicy?" and the guy says "Just freakin' try it!" and the waiter asks "Where's the spoon?" and the guy answers "Exactly"
Why do gay men have such amazing taste in clothing?
They take years before coming out of the closet.
Why do people with foot fetishes never win?
Because they like the taste of defeat
A young man sits down at a bar and says, "I want six shots of Jagermeister."
"Six shots!?" exclaims the bartender, "Are you celebrating something?"
"My first blow job," replies the young man.
"Well, in that case," says the bartender, slapping him on the back, "let me give you a seventh on the house."
The man holds up his hand, "No offense, sir. But if six shots don't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot......
I said, Come on, dammit, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Why Didn't Monica Lewinsky Vote For Hilary Clinton?
Because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
One says, "Does this taste funny?".
The other says, "No".
Why was the shark eating pineapples?
Because it makes seamen taste better.
I edited my pig's genes to make it taste better
you might even say the bacon is CRISPR
Two cannibals are eating Amy Shumer's body
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
The other replies: "no, not at all."
I broke up with my Thai girlfriend today.
She was a little bit too cocky for my taste.
A shark is teaching his kid how to attack swimmers.
"Make sure your dorsal fin is above the water and swim toward them *really fast*, then veer away at the last moment. Do that a few times, and then go back and eat them."
"But why not just come up from below and eat them right away?"
"Well, they taste a lot better if you *empty* 'em first."
Two cannibals were eating an entitled kid
One says to the other," Does this taste a bit spoiled?"
The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
How does a blindman know if he is done wiping his ass ?
It starts to taste like toilet paper
What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
The taste.
Beer Belly
Some guy looked at my beer belly in the bar last night and asked sarcastically "Is that Budweiser or Heineken?"
My response: "There's a tap underneath, taste it for yourself."
COVID-19 home test:
Open a beer and smell it. If you can smell the beer, this is good, as one of the symptoms of COVID-19 is a loss of smell.
Now drink the beer. If you can taste it, this is good, as another symptom of COVID-19 is loss of taste.
I was tested 11 times yesterday, and all tests turned out negative.
I need more testing today, since headache is another potential symptom...
Waiter! These potatoes taste powdery.
Yes sir. We use only the finest ingredients.
Do you know the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The Taste.
Sad news to share: my dad just contracted COVID, and lost his sense of taste.
He's been listening to a lot of Justin Bieber.
What's the difference between being vegan and having Covid 19?
With Covid the loss of taste is only temporary...
Why did everyone have Covid-19 at the KPop concert?
Because a symptom of Coronavirus is lack of taste.
I lost my sense of taste and think I have COVID!!!!
Oh shit. It's just Bud Light, I'm ok.
My girlfriend got covid
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
I tried an At Home Covid Test
Instructions:
1. Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2. If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3. If you can smell it and taste it, this confirms that you don't have the Covid.
Last night, I did the test 19 times and all were negative. Tonight, I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and I feel like I'm coming down with something.
Despite the pandemic, my family decided to get together for a big dinner this Christmas
The food was bad though, didn't taste like anything
3 months since I had COVID and I've still got very little sense of taste.
Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
A girl I'm hitting on just caught the Corona virus
I might have a chance now, as she's lost all her taste...
The worst thing about this pandemic is all the restaurants apparently using lower quality ingredients to save money.
I'll keep eating out every day, but I haven't been able to taste anything for weeks.
Do It Yourself COVID Test
1. Pour a glass of wine and smell it
2. If you can smell it, then taste it
3. If you can both smell it and taste it, you do not have the Covid virus
Just to test it out, I did the test 19 times last evening and, thank God, all the tests were negative. But I'll have to repeat them today, as I woke up with a headache and a bit disoriented this morning.
An Indian family went into self quarantine
after eating lunch at their English friend's house as they couldn't taste anything.
A Covid test nurse asked me if I've had a sudden loss of taste.
I told her, "No, I've dressed like this for quite a while."
Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer
One looks to the other and says,
does this taste funny to you?
and the other says no
Damn girl, do you have Covid?
Because if you're talking to me, then you have no taste.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."
2 Cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
Cannibal 1: Does this taste funny to you?
Cannibal 2: No.
Why do Foot fetishists make terrible Olympians?
They love the taste of defeet.
What did the missionaries give the cannibals?
Their first taste of Christianity.
Why don't vampires suck on the British?
Because they taste like bloody hell
Eat the rich
Because poor people taste bad
Two cannibals are eating a clown.. One looks at the other one and asks
Does this taste funny to you??
Two cannibals are eating a clown
Then one asks the other does something taste funny to you?
Some would say that putting decorative soaps that look like food in their bathrooms is cute.
But it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer
One of them says. "Hey man doesn't this taste a bit funny".
The other cannibal says. "Nope".
I was looking for something to eat the other day & I found this Kentucky brand jelly my wife bought.
I tell you it don't matter, even if you put peanut butter on the bread too, you just can't make a decent sandwich with it. Got no taste.
I told her, "Woman, don't buy that KY jelly anymore!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the taste poor taste jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working taste bad taste piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.