The Best 14 Tarmac Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Tarmac jokes. There are some tarmac cyclepath jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tarmac barmaid puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Tarmac Jokes and Puns

Two pilots are landing a plane.

Two pilots are preparing to land and they're coming in hot. The wheels touch the tarmac and before you know it they're off the other end. 100mph through the grass, the fence and they smash through the gates. Glass and bags go everywhere.

When they finally come to a stop the pilot looks at his co-pilot and says "That was the shortest runway I've ever seen!"

The co-pilot says" Yeah, but wasn't it wide!

Three slabs of concrete walk into a bar

They sit down, order drinks and start bragging about how strong they are. As they're doing this a small bit of green tarmac walks in and they hide under the table as it orders its drink.

When it leaves they all get up and the barman asks them

"What's up with you guys? I thought all of you were tough."

"Oh, we're tough," they said, "but he's a cycle path."

Airline Safety

Taxiing down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off.

Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward, "What was the problem?"

"Well, the pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine", explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

Tarmac joke, Airline Safety

Two lumps of concrete walk into a busy bar...

They see some chairs next to a lump of tarmac, and the one goes over to sit when the other grabs him saying:

"Dude, don't sit next to him.. he's a cycle-path"

A man walks into a bar with some tarmac under his arm...

And said: "one for me and one for the road"


A bit of red tarmac and a bit of black tarmac were sitting quietly in the pub having a pint, when this bit of green tarmac walks in, beats the living daylights out of the red bit of tarmac and then storms off again...

The barman says to the bit of black tarmac, What the heck was all that about?

The bit of black tarmac replies, You have to be careful not to upset that one. He's a bit of a cyclepath."

two big pieces of tarmac walk into a bar...

the pieces of tarmac walk up the counter and begin to order their drinks, but as they do, a small piece of pink tarmac walks in.

the two larger pieces of tarmac say to the bartender: "please. let the pink tarmac order first."

the bartender replies: "why, are you two big lads scared of a small piece of tarmac like that?"

they reply: "of course. she's a cycle path."

Tarmac joke, two big pieces of tarmac walk into a bar...

A man walks into a bar

So a man walked into the bar carrying a roll of Tarmac. He orders one pint and one for the road.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.

He looks at the bartender and says, "A pint for me, and one for the road."

Two pieces of Black Tarmac are chatting in the pub.

One says to the other "I'm the hardest piece of tarmac in here I could take anyone on".
Just as he's saying this a Red piece of tarmac enters the pub.
The Black piece shuts up and hides under the table.
The other black piece of tarmac says "what's up with you" and he replies "I might be hard, but he's a cycle path"

Man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac....

He said " can i have a drink and one for the road"

You can explore tarmac rebar reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tarmac sidewalk dad jokes. There are also tarmac puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man walks into a bar with a piece of green tarmac on his head...

The landlord says to the rest of the customers:

"Don't talk to him! He's a **cycle path**!"

Ba Dum Tss!

A black piece of tarmac is having a quiet drink at the pub...

...when the door bursts open and a red piece of tarmac comes storming in loud and aggressively.

The piece of black tarmac turns to the barman anxiously: *"Don't even think about serving him!"*

*"Why not?"*, the barman asks.

*"Isn't it obvious? He's a freaking cycle path!"*

A man walks into a bar

with a tarmac under his armpit. He says to the bartender:

Bartender, 2 beers please. One for me and one for the road.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tarmac shade jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working tarmac heck piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes