Targets Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

Did you know there are no Walmarts in Syria?

...only Targets

Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?

Because they're all Targets.

Why aren't there Walmarts in Afghanistan?

Because there are Targets on every corner.


What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons.

Civil engineers build targets.

Why is there no walmarts in the middle east?

Because there are targets on every single corner.

I took my kids to the shooting range today.

But they said I had to use the paper targets.

What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.

Why is there no Walmarts in Afghanistan?

Too many Targets

Why are there no K-marts in syria

Because there are targets everywhere

Arrows & Targets

A boy gets a bow & arrow for his 10th birthday. He walks outside and starts shooting his arrows. Later his father walks in on him and exclaims, "Wow each of these arrows landed in a target great job! Lets go out for ice cream!" So his father and he go out for the ice cream after it's finished his father asks, "how did you do it?" Then the son says, "It wasn't hard. I just shot arrows and drew circles around them."

Shooting guns is a stupid hobby.

Its much easier and more cost efficient to shoot targets!

Bacon tree

Two soldiers are sat on top of a hill looking for targets. One says to the other

"Hey bob, is that a bacon tree?"

"I don't know Jim, go have a look while I stay here and cover our backs"

Jim goes for a closer look and Bob stays on the hill eating his lunch. After a while Jim returns with about ten arrows in his chest.

"My god what happened? Was it a bacon tree?"

"No Bob, turned out to be a ham bush"


Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?
A: Because there are too many Targets

Did you hear about the half-assed hitman?

He assinated his targets.

Do you know why there are no Wal-Marts in Iraq?

They're all Targets.

The obesity epidemic is getting out of hand.....

Americans are becoming huge targets overseas

If the NRA had its way, there would be no more Walmart stores...

...but there'd be Targets everywhere.

Target practice

Out on the shooting range in an area where hunting is forbidden, I encounter two chinese gentleman curious about what happens at this place.

They politely ask if this is where they can shoot some rabbits. No no, I say, shooting rabbits is not legal here. You are only allowed to practice firing at the designated targets, you know for fun.

"Ahhhh" they remark. Taking a seat, staring at the field ahead of them. Guns on the ground next to them. Puzzled, I ask if they're going to take a few shots at the targets.

"Yes" they reply, "We wait for rabbit to move in front of target".

There are no Wal-Marts in Syria

Only Targets

Ever wonder why North Korea doesn't have any Walmarts?

They only have Targets there.

Why are there no Wal-Marts in Iraq?

Because they would all be Targets.

I was at the firing range when a family walked right into the lanes while people were firing to hang their targets.

That's one family no one will miss.

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets.


What do broken saws have in common with targets of neckbeard affection?

They're not reciprocating.

Scientists recently developed a weapon that directly targets the Higgs Boson

It's classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

I opened a business for shooting targets, but things haven't been good.

All I get are drive-bys.

A French, a German and a Spaniard are trying to shoot three targets at 50 meters

The French goes first and gets it in one shot

The German goes next and also hits the target with his first shot.

Turn now for the Spaniard, who fails. The other two men are very surprised.

After all, nobody expects the Spanish imprecision.

why arnt there any walmarts in the middle east?

because there are so many targets.

Are there any Wal-Marts in Syria or only Targets? Asking for a friend...


Idk what to name this

After painting the targets black, the USA wins gold for shooting in Rio

Why are there no Krogers in Syria?

Because there are Targets everywhere.

It would help targets if all professional assassination's were handled by marcus smart.

All he hits is bricks.

I said to my boss "nice new mercedes" . He said..

.. "Well if you hit your targets, work hard, stay focused next year I'll be able to buy an even better one"

TIL During navel combat, there is a formal callout for when a destroyer accidentally targets a friendly submarine.

Whoops, wrong sub

TIL that during Naval combat there is a formal radio callout for when a destroyer targets a friendly submarine

Oops wrong sub

Emily Blunt will star in a new crime movie where she hunts down hitmen who keep swallowing their targets and spitting out bigger versions of themselves.

It's titled Agario.

Guess what stores are opening in Afghanistan?


I'll let myself out.

I have a fear of missing targets at short distances

So I aim to go to great lengths to solve my phobia.

I went to an archery range.

I shot a lot of targets in arrow.

What do tumors and assassination targets have in common?

They tend to get taken out.

What's the difference between an american school and a firing range?

The school has moving targets.

Why did Americans shoot a battalion of Russian mercs trying to seize an oil refinery in Syria?

Shooting invisible targets is cheaper than Putin paper targets.

So Prez. Trump asks John Bolton.....

Trump asks John Bolton after looking over files on N. Korea: How many Walmarts are there in North S***hole?
Bolton: No Walmarts, sir, only Targets.

What are the funniest targets jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Targets? Well, here are the best Targets puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Targets pick up lines to share with friends.

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