The Best 48 Tanks Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Tanks jokes. There are some tanks battalion jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tanks warship puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Tanks Jokes and Puns

Me: The place with more tanks?

My GF: IDK, a war?

Me: An aquarium

French Jokes

Who won the first Tour de France?
The 6th Panzer division.

Why do french tanks have rear-view mirrors?
To see the front line.

How many French troops does it take to defend Paris?
No one knows.

A stuttering man wants to join the army

So he arrives at the base and gets in line. The first man approaches the drill seargent.

"Soldier, what do you want to do?"

"I want to drive a tank!" He is put to the tanks

The next man approaches. "I want to fly a plane!". So he takes to the skies in a fighter jet.

The stutterer then comes up.

"What do you want to to?"

"uh....uh-uh-uh---uh-uh-uh-uh..."

He was put in charge of the machine guns.

Tanks joke, A stuttering man wants to join the army

An young Irish boy

A young Irish boy is stood crying at the side of the road. A man asks him What's wrong wid ya laddie? The boy says Me ma is dead . Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you ? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

Why does the French Military install rearview mirrors on their tanks?

So that they can see the battle.


Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors?

So that they can watch the battle.

A Russian man comes across an old vodka bottle

When he picks it up and opens it, a genie appears.

"Thank you so much for releasing me! Now let me do something for you. How would you like to become a Hero of the Soviet Union?"

The man consents.

All of the sudden, he finds himself on a battlefield facing eight German tanks with eight grenades.

Tanks joke, A Russian man comes across an old vodka bottle

Did you hear Poland bought 5,000 septic tanks?

As soon as they figure out how to drive them, they'll invade Germany.

Grieving in Ireland

A 10-year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?'

The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.'

'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?'

The boy replies, 'No tanks mister. Sex is the last thing on me mind at the moment.'

Why did Hitler lose the war?

Because his tanks wouldn't stop Stallin'.

32 Tanks Enter Ukraine From Russia

Ukrainian grandma says, "What is the difference between a Russian tank and a vacuum cleaner? "

Ukrainian grandpa is getting another drink, but yells, "I don't know" from the cellar.

"There's only one dirtbag in a vacuum," she replies, but no one is in the room to hear her.

You can explore tanks battlefield reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tanks turrets dad jokes. There are also tanks puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I heard the French trains are built like their tanks...

... 5 reverse gears and 1 forward.

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

Why do french tanks have rear mirrors?

So they can also see the front lines.

The president visits a military base

He asks a solider stationed there what vehicles he's looking at. The Solider replies "Tanks Obama"

Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.

Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.

Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!

Q: Can February March?

A: No, but April May.

Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?

A: Homiecide

"Fish tanks are stupid!"

"Why?"

"Fish don't even have any militaries!"

Tanks joke, Corny jokes!

So the French army has recently installed rearview mirrors to their tanks.

That way, they can watch the fighting!

Obama and a general are discussing how to attack ISIS

Obama: We need to get boots on the ground to attack them. Send in soldiers, artillery, and trucks.

General: You are forgetting something important sir.

Obama: No I am not.

General: Tanks, Obama.

How do generals show their gratitude to their troops?

They give tanks.


Did you hear about the latest innovation in french tanks?

Rear view mirrors so they can see the battles going on.

Howard and Dale walk into a bar

They sit down at the bar and see people scuba diving on the tv.

"So here's a question" says Howard "How come scuba divers sit on the side of the boat with their oxygen tanks facing outward, and fall backwards off the boat?"

Dale thought for a minute and then said "Thats easy, if they fell forward they'd still be in the frigging boat!"

Paddy And Murphy Are In The Pub

Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"

What was the General's answer...

to the President's inquiry, as to what military division has been most under appreciated during his term?

"Tanks, Obama."

The new French tanks have 14 gears

13 go in reverse and 1 goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.

When I was in the army I was offered the position of tank commander...

But I said, " No tanks"

Why do French tanks have mirrors?

So they could see the battle.

Why do scuba divers dive backwards?

Cause if they dived forward they would fell on the boat.

Real reason so that the eye and nose masks don't get filled with water on the impact straightforward and the oxygen tanks are heavy and it would exert less strain on the back. A prudent way.

Throwback Thursday Joke
Edited few grammar mistakes.

Why do French tanks have rear windows?

So they can see the battlefield!

In an attempt to help the less fortunate, I want to start a charity where people can donate their lightly used weaponry, whether they be guns, knives, tanks, etc so that the poor and disabled can have a sense of security while living on the streets at an affordable price

It could be called the Goodkill

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road.

A man asks him, What's wrong?

The boy says, Me ma is dead .

Oh bejaysus," the man says.
Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?

The boy replies, No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on me mind at the moment..

Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

Why do french tanks have a rearview mirror?

To see the frontline.

What does an American ww2 veteran say when you ask him if he wants some tea?

Sherman tanks!

Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors?

To see the battlefield

Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors?

To see if they are being flanked, duh

I clean my kids' aquariums but they don't appreciate it...

It's a case of tanks but no thanks.

Why do french tanks have 6 gears?

5 for reverse, 1 for parade.

What does an Irishman say when you give him two heavily armoured vehicles for Christmas?

Tanks

French tanks in WW2 have special features

They have side mirrors so they can see the Germans when escaping.

Making tanks in WW2 Italy was a really fun job.

It was always riveting work.

Why do French tanks have rear veiw mirrors

So they can see the battlefield

Whats Tom Hanks Without Resistance?

Tanks

French tanks are the only ones in the world equipped with rear view mirrors.

This is so they can see the battlefield when they are driving.

The military is now weaponizing fish

They're sending them to battle in fish tanks

Obviously they have to be small enough for the fish to fit in though, so they're built to scale

A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian are arguing about cars.

The Frenchman says: We use the Renault for travel inside our country, and the Peugeot when we travel outside the border.

The German says: Ach, ja! We do that too! We use the Volkswagen for travel inside our country, and the Mercedes when we go to foreign countries.

The Russian then says: Well, we do something simmilar, we use Ladas for travelling inside the motherland, and tanks everywhere else.

Do you want to hear a joke about the Israeli army?

A general asks a young soldier, what will you do if you see 20 soldiers coming to attack you? The soldier says that I would take an Uzi and shoot them.

The general asks him what if a tank is coming to kill you? I would take a rocket launcher and defend myself replied the young soldier.

The general asks him what if you see tanks, terrorists and planes together?
The soldier says, general, am I the only one in the army?

Austria declares war on China:

„We have 200 soldiers and 3 Tanks

China accepst: „We have 4 Million Soldiers, a Million Tanks an a couple hundred nuclear warheads

Austria replies:„We abort the declaration, we can't provide enough accomodations for the war prisoners

"Your husband died by drowning in one of our beer tanks!"

... said the beer company reps to the woman having just learned about the unfortunate event

"Do you know ... did he suffer?" asks the woman in tears

"We honestly don't think he did.

He came out a few times to pee"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tanks cistern jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working tanks missiles piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes