tampon Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious tampon puns

2 tampons are walking past each other, which one says "hi", first.

Neither, they're both stuck up cunts.

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Three tampons are walking down the road. A thin, a regular, and a super. Which one says hi first?

None. They're all stuck up cunts

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How do you piss off a female archeologist?

Find a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.

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How do you piss off a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from.

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What did the 3 tampons say when they walked past you?

Nothing! They were all stuck up bitches...

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What did the two tampons say to each other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts.

I literally traded a homeless guy a cigarette for that joke. Worth it.

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What did the two tampons say to each other?

Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts.

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My 5 year old daughter wants a Tampon for Christmas

She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...

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How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?

When she can't find her pencil and there is a tampon behind her ear.

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How to piss off a female archaeologist...

Hand her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.

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Childish but made me laugh

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"

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How do you troll an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask which period it's from.

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A Vampire walks into a bar...

A vampire walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar. When the bartender asks what he'll have to drink the vampire replies, "a glass of hot water." The bartender a bit confused asks, "I thought you vampires drank blood?" The vampire proceeds to pull out a used tampon and replies, "I'm having tea."

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Why did the two tampons not talk to each other?

because they're both stuck up cunts

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Woman goes to a doctor with a tampon lodged inside her...

Doctor: So how did this happen?

Woman: I don't know, I mean I didn't get them from the store as usual, I saw a special deal on eBay, a hundred boxes for $1!

Doctor: A hundred boxes for $1? Didn't that sound suspiciously cheap to you?

Woman: Well I thought that too, so I checked the entire listing and it said plain and clear

One hundred boxes of tampons for $1...

...no strings attached!

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3 vampires walk into a bar...

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a shot of hot blood.
15 minutes later, a second vampire walks in and does the same.
Not soon after, a third vampire walks in and orders a hot cup of water.
"Why the cup of water?" the other two asked.
He then pulled out a used tampon and said, "I'm making tea."

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Wife's Campaign

My wife has wasted years campaigning for tampon companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.

I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.

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What do you tell a girl who won't stop asking for a tampon?

Put a sock in it.

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I asked my mate if he could get me a job at the tampon factory where he works.

There's no openings at the moment, he said, but I'll see if I can pull some strings.

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Three tampons are walking down the street, which one says hi first?

None of them. They were all stuck up cunts.

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How do you piss off a female archeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from.

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Do you ever feel like a tampon?

In a good place, but at the wrong time.

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[One liner] How do you make an archaeolgist mad?

Give him a bloody tampon and ask him what period its from.

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Why don't tampons talk to maxi-pads?

Because they're stuck-up cunts.

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My favorite mythological creature.

My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitch in tampon commercials.

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How do you insult an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it is from.

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A condom, tampon and bandaid are walking down the street. Which one would say 'hi' as you pass?

The bandaid, because the other two are stuck up cunts.

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Archeologists in South Africa have just discoved what they think is the oldest tampon ever found

They are trying to find out what period it came from

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Why do tampons have strings?

So vampires don't burn their fingers while making tea.

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How do you embarrass a male archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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*NSFW* A vampire walks in to a bar.

He asks the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender brings over the glass of hot water and with a puzzled look asks "don't vampires drink blood?" "Yes" the vampire responds as he pulls a used tampon out of his coat and puts it in the glass "but today I just feel like having tea."

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A vampire walks into a bar..

He approaches the barman. The barman asks, "what will it be?" The vampire asks for a mug of hot water. The barman confused asks "don't you folk drink blood?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm making tea"

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One from the 1970's . . .

What's uptight, outta sight and in the groove?

A tampon.

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Two vampires walk into a bar

Two vampires sit down at a bar. The first vampire orders a glass of blood but the second one just asks for a cup of hot water.

The first vampire is surprised by this and remarks "Just water? Are you feeling alright?"

The second vampire waves him off and pulls a dripping tampon from his coat pocket "Yes yes I'm just in the mood for some tea!"

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Three vampires walk into a vampiric bar...

... they all sit down at the bar and the first vampire says, " I'll take a shot of O-", the bartender gives him his shot

"I'll take a cup of AB+ please" says the second vampire, the bartender gives him his blood and turns to the third vampire

"what do ya want?" asks the bartender

"can I get a cup of hot water?" says the third vampire. The bartender gives him a confused look but gets him his hot water and sets it infront of him

"what are ya gonna do with the water" asks the bartender.

The third vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea"

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What are the most funny Tampon jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Tampon? Well, here are the best Tampon dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Tampon pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes