The Best 52 Taller Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Taller jokes. There are some taller higher jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these taller measurements puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Taller Jokes and Puns

What do you call a black person who is taller than you?

Bigger

Apparently women prefer men who are taller than them.

So I guess it could be said that tall women have higher standards.

The mean, median, and mode walk into a Republican bar

The median says "Wow, this place us really skewed to the right! Me, though, I'm a centrist."

The mode was taller than everyone else and got the most numbers.

Meanwhile, the mean was overly influenced by outliers and got high off to the side.

Taller joke, The mean, median, and mode walk into a Republican bar

A farmer couldn't tell his two horses apart...

...so he tried cutting the tail off one horse. This was no good because the tail grew right back. Then he cut the mane off the other horse. This didn't work either, because the mane grew back. Finally he measured them and found that the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse.

As a tall person...

Study finds that shorter men will live longer but taller men have a higher shelf life.


Me: looks like taco bells closed, sign says short staff

Dad: well damnit! They should have hired taller people!!

I like to date intelligent girls who are taller than me.

It keeps me on my toes.

Taller joke, I like to date intelligent girls who are taller than me.

To much milk hurts insects

It causes black toes in taller ants

How do mesquite trees get taller?

They stand on their mesqui-toes!

Life is like a basketball...

It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you.

I'm 12 feet taller than my grandparents.

I'm 6 feet tall and they're 6 feet under.

You can explore taller measure reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean taller fatter dad jokes. There are also taller puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


After seeing his first ballet at age 6, his parents asked him how he liked it.

It was good, but you know all those girls who were on their tippy-toes? Why don't they just get *taller girls?*

Why do ballet dancers always stand on their toes?

Could they not hire taller dancers?

A very curious kid

Kid: Papa, are you growing taller all the time?
Father: No, my child. Why do you ask?
Kid: Because the top of your head is poking up through your hair.

You go to the ballet and you see girls dancing on their tiptoes.

Why don't they just get taller girls?

I went to see the ballet, and..

..all the dancers were standing on tiptoe.

I said,"Why don't they just get taller dancers?"

Taller joke, I went to see the ballet, and..

I have a simple solution to promote higher education,

build taller schools.

Daniel Gabriel gets in line for a roller coaster...

... the attendant says, "sorry, but you must be a bit taller to ride."

"It's okay, I'm *Fahrenheit*," replied Daniel Gabriel.

Kevin Hart and his Wife are expecting their first child together

and its already taller than Kevin.


Bigamy.

Like the real me, just taller.

What gets easier as you get taller?

Washing your junk in the sink

Because of my social anxiety, I prefer to do things with very little people around me.

It makes me feel better being taller than everyone else.

I rear ended a car today.

The driver--who couldn't have been taller than 3'8"--stepped out and yelled, "I am **NOT** happy!".

Apparently, "Well which one are you then?" wasn't the right response.

At the amusement park's Haunted House, the toilets are three inches taller than normal.

They like to keep visitors on their toes.

Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price

I learned this on a price comparison site.

Manscaping is like gardening...

Trimming the bush makes the tree look taller

Ants can float on water using their toes. But why can't larger ants float on milk?

Because they lack toes in taller ants.

Is "I'm taller than you" a joke

My brother says it is a joke I am just asking the pros.

I recently discovered why most women prefer taller men!

It's because they all wish to form a basketball team

do you know what a white man is five times taller than?

a white man thats five times smaller than the other

I went to the doctor today for a checkup and he showed me on a chart that I'm 20 pounds overweight.

But, I pointed out that using his very same data, *I'm not overweight.* I just need to be 3 inches taller.

A girl won't date me because she'd be taller than me when she wears heels

It's her sole reason.

I have a friend that is much taller than me

Because of the height difference between us he can see farther than me in a crowd.

He has heightened vision

What would it be called if the Umbrella Academy had another sibling, and then triplets, but one of them was taller than the other 2?

2 number 9's and a number 9 large.

I'm gonna get a tattoo over my whole body.

Of me, but taller.

I don't trust the devil anymore

I sold my soul for a few more inches and all I got was taller

Not your dairy insect

An ant was walking around when it found a 5inch ant of his very same species:

- Why are youso big, it asked
- I drink a lot of milk

"Lactose in taller ant"

Kids Argue who's dad is tallest!

Three kids showing off whos dad is tallest,

Kid 1 : my dad is as tall as empire state building.

Kid 2 : oh yeah? Well my dad is taller than the sky, even higher than the moon.

Kid 3: oh yeah? Does your dad reach and touch the planets up there?

Kid 2 : yeah of course

Kid 3: those are my dads balls.

My wife asked me if I was surprised by how little people change.

I said I have never seen them change but that I didn't think the process would be any different for them than it is for taller people.

Two men are sitting at a table.

One guy says, "I have ants"

The second guy replies, "Yeah, but my ants are taller than yours."

So the first guy now says 'Well, I have a tube of glue!",

To which the second guy replies, "And... I have an entire tin of it."

Finally, the first guy says "I have bread."

Unable to beat the first guy any longer, the second guy says "I can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants."

Did you know taller people

Sleep longer in bed

Four little boys brag whose dad is the tallest.

The first boy says: my dad is taller than a tree!

The second boy says: my dad is taller than a mountain!

The third boy says: my dad is so tall that if he stands on the tips of his toes he can reach the stars!

The fourth boys says: and those are large?

\-Yeah.

\-Round?

\-Yeah?

\-Warm?

\-..Yeah, so?

\-...Those are my dad's balls.

Growing Up

My son, Bob, was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break.

When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. My son was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked him.

"Since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."

Two friends are arguing...

"Look, I have a colony of ants!"

"Well, I have taller ants than you"

"Oh, well I have a tube of glue"

"Hah, I have an entire tin"

"I got bread!"

"Argh, you win! I can't handle that bread with my glue tin 'n' taller ants"

Told the Dr I just can't grow any taller

She says I will have to be a little patient.

Two friends were comparing their belongings

The first guy goes: 'i have ants'

The second guy : 'well i have taller ants'

The first guy : 'well i got a tube of glue'

The second guy : 'and i have an entire tin of it'

The first guy: 'i got bread as well'

The second guy: 'ugh you win, i can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants.'

The discriminatory ant colony banished all ants over 4 mm tall

They had no taller ants

The lobby of my local Dairy Queen was closed due to short staff.

They should've hired taller employees


(Joke brought to you by my 9yo sister)

My friend told me I was suddenly getting taller

Turned out he was pulling my leg

I'm taller than my grandpa

I'm 5.3 ft and he's -6 ft

Why did the emu lose all his friends when he grew a few feet taller?

Because he was ostrich sized.

Leading entomologists experimenting with ant larvae have reported that while the introduction of milk-born disaccharides increased their height by 31%, it also inhibited tarsus growth by 47%.

The study concluded that the resulting specimens lack toes in taller ants.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the taller lactoes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working taller fondlers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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