Tall People Jokes
73 tall people jokes and hilarious tall people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tall people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Tall People Short Jokes
Short tall people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tall people humour may include short tall women jokes also.
- You know what the worst part about being tall and funny is? My jokes go right over most people's head.
- It's so sad... that trees look at telephone poles, and think that being tall and skinny is the only way to get people talking.
- Did you know tall people are usually bad at math? ... cus it's the little things that count
- The best thing about being tall and having a bald patch... Is that people think you're just tall.
- Tall people and Short people should never date. Long distance relationships never work out.
- A Japanese ascended a tall mountain to seek wisdom from a sage. He asks: Master Akira, why do people all think Japanese look alike? I'm not master Akira!
- Why are kids from the capital of Belgium always so tall? Because people from Brussels sprout!
- Seems like just about everywhere is short staffed these days... Where do all of these average to tall people get the nerve to just not work anymore?
- I like really tall people... I look up to them!
- Why are black people so tall? Because their Knee Grows!
(Told to me buy a black friend so dont be calling me a racist)
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Tall People One Liners
Which tall people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tall people? I can suggest the ones about tall guy and tall man.
- why are black people so tall? because their knee grows
- Being tall is an enormous responsibility Short people look up to you.
- Tall people don't need to be inspirational Everyone already looks up to them.
- Why are dutch people so tall? Shorter ones drowned in floods.
- Why areshort people better than tall people? They are more down to earth.
- What do tall people and black people have in common? They have no one to look up to.
- Why are tall people always so well rested? Because they sleep longer in bed.
- Why do tall people have no role models? Because they have no one to look up to.
- You can never trust tall people... They always think they're above everyone else.
- It's great being tall. People really look up to you.
- I bet all really tall people... are afraid of ducks.
- Short people are materialistic. Tall people are bigger than that. They can see past it.
- Tall people are so rude. It's like they're always looking down on you.
- Tall people are jerks They always look down on everybody else
- What do you call a midget who hates tall people? A bigot.
Laughable Tall People Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about tall people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tall girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tall people pranks.
I know everyone thinks tall people have a lot of advantages in life but in reality, we have to deal with 40% more spider webs than you do.
A helicopter flying over Seattle,with all communication devices down.because of the fog and rain he lost his position.
Desperate the pilot writes on a piece of paper "Where am I?" and sticks it on the windshield. He sees a tall building and surrounds it. The people inside see the note and hurry to help the pilot and they write on the window: " You're inside a helicopter ". The pilot makes a loop and safely lands. Everybody is astonished and ask him how did he do it? He said when he saw the message on the window he immediate knew his position; he realized the tall building was Microsoft because their answers are always technically correct but completely useless
Giving to the less fortunate
A homeless man had been driven to picking small blades of grass that he could find on the side of the street for food.
Then, a rich man drove up next to him, riding in a limo, and told him to get inside for a more plentiful meal.
The homeless man, almost taken aback by tears of joy, starts to enter the limo, but suddenly stops. He says "This is a very generous offer sir, but I have a wife and young child as well who are just as hungry as I am". "Thats fine", says the rich man, "the more people the better".
The homeless man starts to breakdown, saying, "I will never forget this sir, it has been so long since my family and I have had a proper meal". The rich man gives a confused look, and says, "I don't think you understand, the grass in my yard is a foot tall".
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
Variation of the hot air balloon joke
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign read: "IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at her map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how did the sign help determine their position. The pilot responded "Well the response they gave me was technically correct, but completely useless, so I knew that had to be the Microsoft building."
Catholic Joke
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
Three men - one blind, one deaf, one dumb - participate in a game show...
The blind man is shown a map with a marker and asked to name the exact place it is pointing to. Being blind though, he is well versed in Braille, so he begins feeling the map with his hands and after a few seconds says "Grenoble, France".
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Blind", says the host.
The deaf man is played a particular song and asked to identify its singer. Being deaf though, he is a keen observer and lip-reader. He notices one of the people in the audience singing along with the song, reads their lip, and says, "Stand Tall, by Burton Cummings."
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Deaf", says the host.
Finally, the dumb man is asked to spell "Mississippi". After thinking for a few seconds, he says, "M-R-S. S-I-P-P-Y".
Tall guys of the world, unite! There are people who seek to discriminate against us!
Surely, you have noticed it by now. All over the Internet people are screaming about oppression and then saying, "#notallmen."
JAKE'S FUNNEH JOKE
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
HELISOFT
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
Lost Helicopter
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window. The sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determined the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless reply.
I've never gotten along with tall people
We just never see eye to eye.
CATHOLIC COFFEE BREAK
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, and everyone calls him '*Father*'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him '*Your Grace*'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says '*Your Eminence*'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him '*Your Holiness*'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
Why can't tall people smoke?
Because they are already high.
Four older men are bragging about their sons
The first says, "My son is a bishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Excellency".
The second says, "My son is an archbishop, and when he enters the room people say, Your Grace".
The third says, "My son is a cardinal, and when he enters the room people say, Your Eminence".
"My son is 7 feet tall, and 500 pounds," says the fourth man.
"And when he enter the room, people say, 'My God!'"
...told by my parish priest.
A girl ask her mom how much she weighs
The mom replies, "That is not a question you ask other people." As the girl is walking to school her friend recommends looking at her mom's drivers licence because it has all her mom's information. The girl then proceeds to look at her mom's drivers license and then reproaches her mom and says "you weigh 135lbs! And you are also 5' 6" tall." The mom replies "you're correct" the girl continues to say "I also know why daddy broke up with you!" The shocked mother then inquires how the little girl knows. The little girl says "Because you got an F in s**...!"
A new research have shown that tall people live longer
On average about 25 centimeters
Why do people of height hold their alcohol better?
Because they've built up a tall-erance.
Why are black people so tall?
Because their mom's and dad's were tall too.
Why are Dutch people so tall?
Cuz You know... djs jump a lot.
Tall people are less tired than small ones
Because they are longer in bed.
There's a huge stigma attached to me because I'm tall and handsome.
People instantly assume that I'm pompous.
I always hear people comparing my dad to Bigfoot...
He's 7 ft tall, hairy, has huge feet, and I haven't seen him once
Well my son is...
A few Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter Square, Rome. The first Catholic man tells his friends,
My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father.
The second Catholic man chirps, My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him Your Grace.
The third Catholic man says, My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says Your Eminence
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, Well…?
She proudly replies, I have a daughter. She is slim, tall, and has measurements of 36D-24-36.
When she walks into a room, people say Oh…my…God!
Three people walk into a bar, a tall one, a short one, and a medium height one.
The tall one hurts his hip, the short one hurts his head, and the medium one hurts his stomach.
Two tall people and one short person walked into a bar
Only the short person wasn't hit
Why are Black People Tall?
Because they ne*gro*
Being tall brings with it a lot of responsibility.
Short people look up to you.
A man named Jose moved to America...
A man named Jose moved to America and the first thing he does is go to a baseball game because it seemed like a very American thing to do. When he got there he had to sit by the flag and there were many tall people in front of him. Suddenly everyone in the stadium turned toward him and sang, "Jo-ose can you see!" He replied, "yes, thank you, I can."
A guy is waiting for the bus in front of a mental institution
There is a tall wooden fence surrounding it. The man starts hearing a group of people on the other side of the fence yelling "14, 14, 14!" So he walks over and finds a small hole. When he ducks down to peek through, all of a sudden he gets poked in the eye.
The people on the other side of the fence start yelling "15, 15, 15!"
Curiosity killed the cat
One day I was walking by a tall fence. On the other side I could hear a group of people chanting, "12! 12! 12! 12!" Confused, I tried to jump up and see over the fence, to see what's going on but the fence was too tall. A little further up, I saw a small hole in the fence. I walked up to it and peeked through. As soon as I looked, I was poked in the eye by a stick. They all started chanting, "13! 13! 13! 13!"
People often rank a person's attractiveness out of ten, but what is considered a ten in some states would be considered differently elsewhere.
For example an NY10 is typically tall and athletic but a DC10 is very plane.
A man is walking by a tall fence and hears people chanting, "13, 13, 13."
The man tries to look over the fence but can't see because it's too tall.
He then notices a hole in the fence and looks through, only to get poked in the eye. The people on the other side then start chanting, "14, 14,14."
