Talks So Much Jokes
116 talks so much jokes and hilarious talks so much puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about talks so much that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Talks So Much Short Jokes
Short talks so much jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The talks so much humour may include short you talk so much jokes also.
- A man goes on a date Friend: 'How did your date go?'
Man: 'I talked too much about my obsession with simplifying fractions'
Friend: 'That wasn't a very good idea'
Man: 'Yeah, well hindsight is 1' - I was talking to my grandfather When he said
"your generation relies too much on technology"
I then said
" no grandpa yours does"
Then I unplugged his life support. - There has been much said and sung about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters? The Tea of the tiger was quite a refreshing and pleasant event!
- I am a chemist and my wife says I talk about my work way too much I promised I'd only do it Periodically from now on
- I told my dad that I have an imaginary girlfriend. Dad: "You could do much better."
Me: "Thanks dad"
Dad: "I was talking to your girlfriend." - You can tell the speed of light is much faster than the speed of sound. Some people appear bright until you hear them talk.
- I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers. I nearly fell out of my tree.
- Me: Mom, meet my girlfriend. Mom: Are you sure about this? You deserve better!
Me: But Mom, I love her so much…
Mom: I was talking to her… - A physics student was standing on top of a building, threatening to jump I tried to talk him out of it, because he had so much potential.
- My girlfriend left me because she said I talk about video games too much.... I told her that's a dumb reason to Fallout 4.
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Talks So Much One Liners
Which talks so much one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with talks so much? I can suggest the ones about talks and talking too much.
- Beer has female hormones Whenever I am drinking I talk too much and can't drive a car.
- what do you call a support group for people who talk too much? On and on Anon
- I had to give up being a Taxi Driver. There was just too much talking behind my back.
- A friend asked me what my tattoo says. I told him, "It doesn't really talk much."
- There's a new self-help group for people that talk too much It's called on and on anon
- I called my wife Genji today No matter how much she talked she wouldn't get to the point.
- Did you hear about the support group for people who talk too much? It's On & On Anon.
- There should be a 12 step program for people who talk too much... On-and-on anon
- What do you name a black girl that talks too much? LaQuacious
- My wife said I talked to much... So I joined a support group, On-And-On Anon
- Why do women talk so much? Because they have 4 lips.
- Support Group for People Who Talk Too Much It's called On and On Anon.
- If a parking spot says Reserved can I park there if I don't talk much?
- Why do girls talk so much? They have four lips
- I often get asked why I talk to myself so much said the soliloquist.
Talks So Much Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about talks so much you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean talking dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make talks so much pranks.
Husband and wife are having a romantic dinner
Wife: I love you so much! I can't live without you!
Husband: Is that you or the wine talking?
Wife: It's me... talking to the wine.
A man's fence is broken and he neess to hire someone to fix it
So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.
He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.
Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.
About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.
The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked
the monk replied "Religious reasons."
The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, why do you need to repair fences?"
"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."
My collection of meta knock knock jokes (on mobile so bad formatting)
Knock knock|who's there|hallucinations| hallucinations who? | (Walk away)
|||knock knock|who's there|sudden anxiety attack|sudden anxiety attack who?|Sorry am I talking too much?
||| Knock knock|Who's there|Your inability to focus|your inability to focus who|(mouth the words your inability to focus making me quiet but don't actually say it)
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist...
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with.
The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent e**.... It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3000 a month living expenses.
Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines)
Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied Ya, well I sew women's underpants. He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check.
Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied Diesel fitter. He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check.
After Sven and Ole collected their checks, they compared them outside. Ole's check was twice as much, which made Sven furious. He stormed back inside and asked to talk with a manager. He demanded to know why his check was half of what Ole's was. The manager told him, Well, you were a tailor, your friend Ole has a specialty in engine repair.
Sven's anger was boiling over. He loudly told them, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I sew the underpants and put them in a pile, Ole holds them up and says Ya, diesel fitter. What has that got to do with engines?
A turtle walks into a bar
He says to the bartender 'I'd like a glass of water' The bartender gives,him the glass and the turtle goes out of the bar. That situation repeats 3 times and then the bartender thinks to himself 'I'll ask the turtle why does he need so much water'. The turtle comes in and again asks for a glass of water. The bartender asks him 'Why do you need so much water?' To what the turtle responds 'Cut the talking, there's a forest fire outside!'
The half-wit
A man owned a small farm in Norfolk.
The Department of wages claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him 200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her 150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about 10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.
'That would be me,' replied the farmer.
How could I ever live without you?
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says.
"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you"
Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" ... She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."
My local sheriff did a talk on h**....
I couldn't understand much of it.
The Montana Department of Employment
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.
A reporter is interviewing Stevie Wonder
They talk about all the amazing music he has created over the years and the incredible things he has done with his life and as a last question the reporter asks:
"But don't you wish you hadn't been born blind?"
and Stevie replies "Hey, it could've been much worse - I could have been born black"
A man's father has just passed...
The son is arranging the f**... and talks to the mortician about his father's remains. He says "I know we don't have much money, but I want the best for my father. Please do what you can".
A week after the f**..., the mortician presents the son with a bill for $50. Thinking it to be very reasonable, the son pays the bill. The next week, the son gets another $50 bill from the mortician. He pays that as well.
A week later low and behold a third bills comes to the son for $50. The son calls the mortician and says "The f**... was 3 weeks ago, why am I still getting this $50 bill?" "You wanted the best for your father", the mortician says, "so I rented him a tux".
A Million Dollars
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD.
"GOD", he said, "How long is a million years?"
GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?"
GOD answered, "To Me, it's a dime."
The man then asked, "GOD, can I have a dime?"
GOD said, "In a minute."
So a college teacher is talking to his male students...
"Access to the women's dorms is strictly prohibited. If someone is caught there for the first time, they will suffer a fine of 100 dollars. The second offence will involve a 300 dollar fine. Getting caught there for the third time will cost you a hefty fine of 500 dollars."
Suddenly, a student in the back raises his hand and asks:
"How much for a semester pass?"
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Great Dane: So what are you here for?
Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for s**... so they're having me castrated, you?
Great Dane: My mistress does the housework n**..., she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.
Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?
Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.
The taxation office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand
The taxation office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an auditor to investigate him.
Auditor: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bundaberg r**... and a dozen Crown Lagers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."
Auditor: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one."
Boat Owner: "That'll be me. What'd you want to know?"
Did you know that beer contains female hormones?
It's true. You drink too much you get fat, get emotional, talk too much, cry, and you can't drive a car.
All apologies to the fairer s**....
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to do it before it gets cool, and one to talk about how much better the old one used to be.
A man owned a small farm
A man owned a small farm near Maddock. The North Dakota Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well, there's my field hand who's been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week, plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I go into town and buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night," replied the farmer.
"That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer sadly.
So, the 7 year-old daughter is talking with her mom...
"Mom, today at school during break, Jason and I played doctor!" she says excitedly.
"Oh dear" the mother answers, fearing the worst "what did you two do?"
"Oh, not much, he made me wait forty-five minutes and then double billed the insurance company."
Romantic men
3 men talk about their wives. The first one says: "My wife is like a butterfly, so delicate and pretty". The second one: "Mine is like a baby deer, beautiful and gracious". After a moment of silence the third one goes: "Now that I think about it mine doesn't look much human either".
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: **"Anyone know whose phone this is?"**
After seeing the "Women don't talk much in Star Wars" video...
Maybe that's how they got so much done
Two factory workers are talking.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video game too much...
What a s**... thing to Fallout 4.
How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
How much money are we talking about here?
Gods Vacation
The gods were planning on where to spend their next vacations; Shiva suggested: "what about Neptune?", then Ala said: "It's too cold!"; Zeus then suggested: "Let's go to Mars!", then Buddha replied "Nah, we went there last time!". So someone spoke "What about Earth?", for God to reply: "no way, Earth people like to gossip too much. I went there 2000 years ago, had a thing with a v**... and they're still talking about it!"
A Man was talking with his best friend.
About how much he hates his Mother in law.
Friend says " Well without your Mother in law you wouldn't have your wife so you cant hate her."
Man says "No pretty sure thats mainly the reason I hate her."
My girlfriend just dumped me because I she says I talk too much about video games...
...It's a horribl**e** thing to Fallout 4.
A husband was sipping his whiskey...
while sitting in the balcony with his wife and he says,
"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."
Wife asks, "Is that you, or the whisky talking?"
Husband replies, "It's me..... talking to the whisky...
George W. Bush visits Algeria.
As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: "You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra..."
A young grandson is talking to his grandfather.
"You know grandpa. Our generation is so much better then yours. We have video games, the internet, cell phones and so much cool technology. Your generation didn't have any of that!"
His grandfather replies;
"You're right, we didn't have any of those things around. That's why we had to invent them!"
Two pregnant women are talking about their future babies
"I feel like my girl will be an athlete, she kicks so much in there it's unbelieavable!"
"Oh, I'm sure mine will be a comedian."
"How can you be so sure?"
"You wouldn't get it. It's an inside joke."
The School teacher sent home a note with her student..
The note reads, Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.
Mother sends a note back the following day, Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.'
Me: I can't believe it increased by 1500%.
Professor: I'm sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.
Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...
A man was talking to God...
Man: God, how much is a million years for you?
God: For me, it's just one minute.
Man: God, how much is a million dollars for you?
God: For me, it's just one penny.
Man: God, can I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.
A grandpa is complaining that their generation relies too much on their technology.
They reply, No, you generation relies too much on technology. And we can prove it.
He replies, What are you talking about? , as they slowly unplug his life support.
Two Parents Get Arrested
A couple is arrested after they get caught burning their son's name on farms. Picture a big bonfire, but it spells their son's name.
It's a tense ride into the station. The parents are obviously nervous, so the officer makes some small talk.
After a while, though, the curiosity gets the best of him so he asks them why.
Cop: Of all things to spell out, why your son's name?
Dad: We figured it was the best way to show how much we love arson.
A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?"
God answers, "To me, it's about a minute."
Man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me, it's about a penny."
Man: "God, if that's the case, may I have a penny?"
God: "Sure. Just wait a minute."
ME: I trained this chicken to talk.
HER: Let's hear then.
ME: What's a male deer called?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
HER: This is dumb.
CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.
After talking with his girlfriend Kim, Steve reluctantly decided it was best to ask for her father's permission to get married.
"So," said Kim's father, "you want to be my son-in-law, do you?"
Not particularly, " Steve responded, "but if I want to marry your daughter I haven't much choice, have I?"
All this talk about John Cena
I have heard so much about how much of a 'hard man' John Cena is! Honestly if he's so hard, why doesn't he come smash my head on this keyboarddhjfiefkejfjl
Hopping onto the trend of jokes translated into English, here's one from my family in Bosnia
Two men are sitting together and talking, the first asks, "Do you love your wife?"
The second replies, "Of course I love my wife!"
The first then says, "Ok but how much?"
The second man isn't sure how to answer, so the first man asks, "Say your wife is being attacked by a bear, what would you do?"
The second man simply says, "s**... bear."
Seller: 500$ for this parrot
Guy: 500$ HERE.
Voice in background: 1000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 1000$ going 1st..
Guy: 1100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 5000$ HE-RE.
Seller: 5000$ going twice....
Guy: 5100$ HERE.
Voice in background: 25.000 HE-RE.
Guy: 25.100 HERE.
Seller: Sold!!
Guy: I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out he can't talk!!!
Auctioneer: Dont worry he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?
So, I trained a chicken to talk
WIFE: Well, let's see
ME: What's a male deer?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
WIFE: This is s**.... Chickens just make that sound
ME: Oh believe me it gets better
CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan
A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...
"These b**... immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these b**... immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."
His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"
The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll tell you why. It's because they're not even trying to be British. That's why. They don't even TRY to be British. They come here, and bring their own b**... culture. They bring their own food, spit their own b**... languages, try to take over the whole b**... place."
His friend replies with "Well, that sounds British to me"
A man and a blonde woman are talking about their children while waiting for them at nursery.
Man: How many kids do you have here mam?
Blonde: Oh I have two toddlers. What about you?
Man: I have one that's just under two.
Blonde: Look I know I'm a blonde, but I know how much one is.
A Bad Original Joke
One day, a farmer walked up to a fisherman, and said, "Oi, I found this 'ere red thing glimmerin' at the river over yonder. Issa worth much?"
The fisherman takes a look at what the farmer caught. After inspecting it for quite some time, he frowns and says, "I'm afraid it's worthless, sir.
The farmer frowns. "I'm not sure what you're talking about. It's glimmerin', and it looks like a ruby if I've ever seen one!"
"I'm sorry sir. I'm afraid this is just a red herring."
Why did people hate talking to Newton?
Because he approached each conversation with too much gravity
A man realized he needed to pu...
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
Bless you son!!!
(Perhaps a repost, but I heard it for the first time. So here it goes)
A small boy talking to his mother while his dad sits nearby.
Boy: Mom, I want to marry 3 girls when I grow up.
Mom: 3 girls!! But why son?
Boy: One to cook food for me, one to do my laundry and one to clean my home.
Mom: Ohh ok... But which one will sleep with you?
Boy: (innocently) But of course you mom. I never want to sleep with anyone other that you.
Mom: Ohh bless you my son!!! You love mommy so much. But what will happen to the 3 wives of yours.
Boy: They can sleep with Dad.
Dad: Bless you son!!!
Wrong, just wrong.
I once dated a girl who talked about her ex- so much I ended up missing the guy.
Car for Sale
p**... wanted to sell his car but was concerned he wouldn't get much for it due to the high mileage, he spoke to his friend Mickey who suggested winding the clock back, reducing the mileage, in the hope he could ask for more money.
A few days later p**... was talking to Mickey again, 'How'd you get on sellin the car p**...?' He asked his friend.
'I didn't sell it in the end' he said. 'Why not?' asked Mickey. 'Well I wound it back like you said, and when I'd finished sure there was only 12,000 miles on the clock, so I decided to keep it'
A world with the undead
Imagine a world where zombies exist, but they're not dangerous. Just like you and I every day, except they eat brains.
The government has decided that humans can donate their o**... to zombies for consumption.
Everything is pretty much back to normal.
A man and a woman end up going on a first date. They make everyday small talk.
The man says, "So, what do you do for a living?"
The woman responds, "Actually, I'm dead."
I was at a hospital, talking to some patients.
I tried to lighten the mood with a coronavirus joke. Barely anyone reacted at first, but eventually everyone got it. However, the Chinese guy got it right off the bat. Some people have called my joke tasteless, however. It really killed the mood. But I bet the British variation of this joke will spread much quicker!
A woman was sipping a glass of wine while relaxing with her husband... "I love you so much, she said, I don't know how I could live without you:
Her husband asked, "is that you or the wine talking"?
She replied "it's me, talking to the wine"
My grandparents think that I depend too much on technology.
They always talk about how much my generation depends on technology, and my grandfather always mentions it whenever I visit them, so then I replied, no, your generation depends too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support.
Having puppies
**Three dogs are at the vet's. Talking dog talk.**
Rover, "Why are you guys here?"
Sparky, "I been peeing all over the house. I'm going to get my nuts cut off." Ruff.
Barky, "I growl at everything. I'm going to get my nuts cut off. Ruff.
How about you Rover?"
Rover, "Well, my mistress was getting out of the shower yesterday, I love her *sooo* much. *Ah-Rooo*. Seeing her n**..., bent over drying her foot, well, I jumped on. "
The other two - "So you're getting you nuts cut off too?"
Rover, "h**... no! I'm getting my nails trimmed."
A woman wants to divorce her husband, so she is talking to her lawyer.
Lawyer: "Well first we need a reason, is he not giving you money?"
Woman: "if he hides as much as a dollar from me, I'm not cooking for him for three days straight."
Lawyer: "Well is he beating you?"
Woman: "Him? I'd throw him through the window, with my left hand only"
Lawyer: "How about being faithful?"
Women: "That's where we get him! The second child is not from him."
The elevator ride
A woman is on an elevator heading to the 9th floor. 3 other well dressed and wealthy women get in at the 5th floor and begin obnoxiously talking about how much they each spent on their perfume after one gives the other a compliment. The first one spouts off Chanel, $100 per bottle. The second one replies Gucci, $125 per bottle. The 3rd says Well I have you both beat! Jean Patou, $1800 per bottle! Annoyed, the first woman on the elevator goes to get off and let's out a very loud and rancid f**... and says Broccoli, 59 cents a pound!
My wife left me because, according to her, I talk about herbs and spices too much.
Oh well.... It was probably thyme.
I bumped into an old mate of mine yesterday
I bumped into an old mate yesterday. He immediately started showing off, talking about him being an excellent writter and the book he recently launched.
Continuing to show off, he said, "My book has sold 1000 copies till date."
I said, "And how many copies did you buy?."
He said, "Not even one, hahaha jealous much?"
I said, "Wise decision nonetheless."
Tinder is haunted
I have been talking to someone on tinder and i told her how much i love halloween. To this, she said "great, i have something perfect for you"
Then she ghosted me.
My wife joined a support group for people who talk too much.
It's called
On Anon Anon Anon.
A rabbi and a priest are discussing their dreams
"I dreamt of the jewish heaven the other night" says the priest "It was horrible, a slum overflowing with people! It was chaos, I tell you, all the people talking and walking around! And making so much noise... Thank God I woke up from that nightmare!"
"Interesting" says the rabbi "The other night I dreamt of the christian heaven. It was the perfect neighbourhood, every house was impeccable, with well-kept lawns and streets!"
"And how were the people?" asks the priest
"People?"