Talk Jokes

• Short Talk Jokes
• Talk One Liners
• You Talk So Much Jokes
• Talk To The Hand Jokes
• Car Talk Jokes
• Small Talk Jokes
• More Talk Jokes

Funniest Talk Short Jokes

Short talk jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The talk humour may include short conversation jokes also.

1. Girls who talks about girls' problems are great. But girls who talk about environmental problems are Greta.
2. How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They only *talk* about change.
3. My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution Could this be a red flag?
4. Ever wonder how a Jehovah's Witness spreads their word during Covid? Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
5. My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila. You're coming home now! she screamed.
   No, I'm not, I laughed.
   She said, I'm talking to the kids.
6. Man says to his boss Can we talk? I have a problem. Boss says Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!
   Man says Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.
7. A girl once told me, If you lost about 50 pounds you'd be cute I told her, if I lost 50 pounds I'd be talking to your friends!
8. a man is chopping down a tree the tree says Wait, i'm a talking tree
   the man proceeds chopping down the tree and says and you will dialogue.
9. A man goes on a date Friend: 'How did your date go?'
   Man: 'I talked too much about my obsession with simplifying fractions'
   Friend: 'That wasn't a very good idea'
   Man: 'Yeah, well hindsight is 1'
10. I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today... Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.

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Talk One Liners

Which talk one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with talk? I can suggest the ones about chat and discussion.

1. How do you talk with a COVID denier with an Ouija board
2. My deaf girlfriend just told me, We need to talk. That is not a good sign.
3. Someone told me I'm condescending That means I talk down to people.
4. If you talk to a spanish speaker make sure to say "mucho" It means a lot to them.
5. My daughter just lost her first tooth! That'll teach her to talk back.
6. I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent
7. I hate people who talk behind my back. They discussed me.
8. Light travels faster than sound! That's why some people appear bright until they talk.
9. I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth... and now I talk with a strange Axe scent.
10. Why do women talk less in february? Cause there's only 28 days
11. Talking to my X: Hey, what's up? Talking to my Y:
    ?
    p
    u
    s
    '
    t
    a
    h
    w
    ,
    y
    e
    H
12. When i was born I was so mad at my parents I didn't talk to them for two years
13. My family treats me like a god They only talk to me when they want something.
14. I think my cats are communists They expect free food and keep talking about Mao.
15. I haven't talked to my wife for 18 months I don't like to interrupt her.

You Talk So Much Jokes

Here is a list of funny you talk so much jokes and even better you talk so much puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was talking to my grandfather When he said
  "your generation relies too much on technology"
  I then said
  " no grandpa yours does"
  Then I unplugged his life support.
• There has been much said and sung about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters? The Tea of the tiger was quite a refreshing and pleasant event!
• I am a chemist and my wife says I talk about my work way too much I promised I'd only do it Periodically from now on
• I told my dad that I have an imaginary girlfriend. Dad: "You could do much better."
  Me: "Thanks dad"
  Dad: "I was talking to your girlfriend."
• Beer has female hormones Whenever I am drinking I talk too much and can't drive a car.
• You can tell the speed of light is much faster than the speed of sound. Some people appear bright until you hear them talk.
• I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers. I nearly fell out of my tree.
• Me: Mom, meet my girlfriend. Mom: Are you sure about this? You deserve better!
  Me: But Mom, I love her so much…
  Mom: I was talking to her…
• A physics student was standing on top of a building, threatening to jump I tried to talk him out of it, because he had so much potential.
• what do you call a support group for people who talk too much? On and on Anon

Talk To The Hand Jokes

Here is a list of funny talk to the hand jokes and even better talk to the hand puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear.
• My dad rubs Elmers Glue on his hands like lotion before he goes hunting. I know, it's weird, and I've tried talking him out of it... But he's sticking to his guns on this one. Stubborn man.
• I accidentally handed my wife a gluestick instead of her chapstick. She hasn't talked to me since.
• I think the girl I just met may be a goddess... because even though she's never talked to me, later tonight billions will be massacred by my hand in her name.
• Why can't an Italian snake talk? Because it doesn't have any hands.
• How do you stop an Italian from talking? Tie his hands together
• My girlfriend asked me to hand her some lipstick and I accidentally gave her a glue stick She still isn't talking to me
• My wife asked me to hand her a tube of lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her a tube of Super Glue Now she won't talk to me.
• Everyone talks about how May 4th is 100% hands down the best Star Wars holiday ever.... But only a fifth May deal in absolutes..
• How do you stop an Italian from talking? Cut their hands off.

Car Talk Jokes

Here is a list of funny car talk jokes and even better car talk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler. Oh no. Wait.. He drove a Honda.
  But he didn't like talking about it.
  John 12:49 :
  > For I did not speak of my own Accord.
• JUST ANNOUNCED: Disney in talks of a Star Wars - Back to the Future crossover where Marty flies so far back in time (long, long ago) that he fuses with his car He becomes the ManDeLorean
• How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.
• A german and an american are talking. "My country is so big, it takes me two weeks to drive from one side to the other," says the American. The German: "Oh, I used to have a car like that...".
• My wife is so pessimistic! I remembered the stoller, the car seat, AND the diaperbag. But all she talked about was that I forgot the baby.
• Two tomatoes are walking across the road when a car drives over one of them.
  the other turns around and says "Hurry up ketchup!"
  
  
• 2000: Don't talk to people on the internet or get into stranger's cars 2017: Literally talk to strangers online to get INTO their cars.
• A Brit and a Texan are talking. The Texan says "You know, I can get in my car and drive for 3 days and still be on my own land." The Brit replies "I had a car like that once."
• People keep claiming I caused a car accident I don't know what they're talking about because I did it on purpose
• Hello darkness my old friend I've come to talk with you about your car's extended warranty

Small Talk Jokes

Here is a list of funny small talk jokes and even better small talk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• So, I hate small talk. What about you?
• "This is your Captain speaking..." "...if you look out of your window you will see a small yellow life raft floating in the sea. I am talking to you from there."
• Me: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up? The hot lady at the bar: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
• What do you call a little person who can talk to ghosts and just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
• A dwarf who can talk to ghosts escaped from prison. The police alert said There's a small medium at large.
• Me: How about you sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that pops up? My crush: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
• After a few drinks and small talk, she invited him back to her apartment. Just before they turned out the light, he asked, "how do you like your eggs in the morning?"
  "Unfertilised," she replied.
• What do you call a little person who talks to dead people and runs from the law? A small medium at large
• I went to a little person convention yesterday It was boring, just all small talk.
• What is the similarity between a small gangster and a board used to talk to the dead? They are both wee g's

Fun-Filled Talk Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about talk you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speech jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make talk pranks.