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Talent Show Jokes

44 talent show jokes and hilarious talent show puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about talent show that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Talent Show Short Jokes

Short talent show jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The talent show humour may include short talent jokes also.

  1. A guy is at a talent show and says, just to make sure everything is working, if your name is Michael please stand up . Then, a couple of dudes stand up and he says, that concludes the mike check .
  2. I have never cared for talent shows like America's Got Talent, Britain's Got Talent, etc. I think its all staged.
  3. They banned me from the school talent show. But i know they were just salty, because they knew they couldnt make their clothes disappear as well as i did.
  4. Sam had amazing vocal skills, but was in doubt of them all the time. He got himself to sign up to a Talent Show for the first time. And finally in front of all the people Samsung
  5. My friend told me he wanted to take part in a TV talent show. Obviously I wanted to support him as well as I could. So i killed his mother.
  6. What did the Italians say to Malaysia after they auditioned for the talent show? You Singapore.
  7. Apparently a lion has won a talent show in South Africa The judges said it had roar talent

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Talent Show One Liners

Which talent show one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with talent show? I can suggest the ones about award show and talent agent.

  1. A deaf-mute man came on a Talent show. And what is your talent?
    - I can speak!
  2. Hey, did you hear about the prison talent show? They had quite the captive audience.
  3. What's the talent show where the contestants do basically nothing? "American Idle"
  4. Did you hear about the German doing an impression at the talent show? He did the wurst.
  5. Did you see what Sam did at the talent show? Sam sung
  6. A guy did squats at a talent show... He called it a stand up routine.
  7. Why did the eagle win the talent show? Because he was TALONted!
  8. What did the banana do at the talent show? A Split!
  9. Syria versed the US in a talent show Syria did okay but the US bombed
  10. What do you call a talent show for birds? Chicken Got Talons.
  11. What country has a singing talent show for the poor? It's Singapoor.
  12. What do you call an Arabian singing in a talent show? Arabian Idol.
  13. Why did the Dino Dance Team fail the Talent Show? They were all Nervous-Rex
  14. Did you hear about the t**... on the talent show!? apparently he blew the judges away!

Cheeky Talent Show Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about talent show you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean survivor show jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make talent show pranks.

A man auditioned for a talent show

A man auditioned for a talent show and when he walked on to the stage the judge asked him what was his talent. The man replied "I do bird impressions".The judge said "Thats not something we would be interested in". The man said "Thats ok" and flew out the window.

I took my dog to the local talent agent yesterday.

We walked through the door and I handed him our card:
"Barney. Talking dog."
The agent chuckled, leaned back in his chair, and said, "Alright, show me what you got."
"Hey Barn, how was work this week?"
"Rough."
"What goes on top of a house?"
"Roof."
"Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth."
Just then the agent grabbed us both and tossed us out into the street.
Barney was just sitting there, looking forlornly at the ground and shaking his head.
"Knew I should have said Hank Aaron."

A man heard a talk show was looking for people with unusual talents

When he showed up to audition for the segment the talk show host asked him what talent he was going to perform. The man explained "I imitate birds." The talk show host laughed, waving him away saying "thousands of people can imitate birds. We want something nobody has ever seen before." The man shrugged, flapped his arms, and flew away.

My wife and I were laying in bed watching a contortionist perform on a talent show.

As the lady went through her routine, I suggested to my wife that she should try becoming a contortionist. Without hesitation, she shouted "NO!"
I asked her to reconsider, suggesting ideas as they entered my creative mind. She immediately began yelling at me, calling me a pig, a dog, and even threatened to sleep on the couch.
I said "Hey...I thought you said you weren't going to get all bent out of shape."

Man auditions for circus

Interviewer asks: "So, what is your talent?"
"I imitate birds" man answered.
"I'm sorry, but that's not something we are looking for our show."
"Ok, thanks for your time anyway" said the man and flew out of the window.

So me and my p**... friends have a weekly gathering...

Every week one of us brings a talent down the pub to show the others - this time it was my turn.
I brought along my guitar and after some Dutch courage I began to play.
Within a few seconds of starting the guys started cheering me on, one of them was even weeping, saying how amazing the song was.
I had no idea what the big deal was, I was just f**... A minor.

The magic Dog

A man goes to a casting show for talents with his dog.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present: Gizmo the magic dog! I ask him a question and he answers it correct!"
The jury laughed, but he asked:"Gizmo, what is on top of this house?"
"Roof! Roof!", Gizmo said. The audience went quiet.
"Gizmo, what can sink ships?"
"Reef! Reef!", the dog said. One from the jury asked:"Is this a joke? This dog is just barking!"
"Wait! One last question! Gizmo, name one famous composer!"
"Orff! Orff!", Gizmo said.
Man and dog were thrown out of the building. On the street, Gizmo looked up to his owner and said:"I know, Frank. I should have said Mozart..."

A man loved to tie knots

It was his favorite hobby. He spent all of his time tying knots in string and rope, and inventing new, stronger, or more interesting ways to tie knots. He tried to show his ropes and strings to his friends but nobody cared. He wasn't very talented at anything else, because he had spent his entire life tying knots. Everyone was disapointed in him, and he got depressed. He was depressed for months, and then he got fired from his job at a restaurant. That was the final thread. He couldn't take it anymore. He hung himself later that day. At least he died doing what he loved.

A man has a talking dog

A man takes his talking dog to a talent show to showcase its talent.
They come on stage and the man says to the dog 'What do you find on trees?' and the dog replies 'Bark, bark'. The crowd boos.
The man says to the dog 'what do you find on top of a house?' and the dog replies 'roof, roof'. By this time the jeering intensifies and the crowd start throwing stuff on stage so embarrassed the pair return home.
In the car on the way home the dog turns to the man and says, 'Do you think I should have said chimney?'