Talent Show Jokes
44 talent show jokes and hilarious talent show puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about talent show that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Talent Show Short Jokes
Short talent show jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The talent show humour may include short talent jokes also.
- A guy is at a talent show and says, just to make sure everything is working, if your name is Michael please stand up . Then, a couple of dudes stand up and he says, that concludes the mike check .
- I have never cared for talent shows like America's Got Talent, Britain's Got Talent, etc. I think its all staged.
- They banned me from the school talent show. But i know they were just salty, because they knew they couldnt make their clothes disappear as well as i did.
- Sam had amazing vocal skills, but was in doubt of them all the time. He got himself to sign up to a Talent Show for the first time. And finally in front of all the people Samsung
- What did the Italians say to Malaysia after they auditioned for the talent show? You Singapore.
- Apparently a lion has won a talent show in South Africa The judges said it had roar talent
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Talent Show One Liners
Which talent show one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with talent show? I can suggest the ones about award show and talent agent.
- A deaf-mute man came on a Talent show. And what is your talent?
- I can speak! - Hey, did you hear about the prison talent show? They had quite the captive audience.
- What's the talent show where the contestants do basically nothing? "American Idle"
- Did you hear about the German doing an impression at the talent show? He did the wurst.
- Did you see what Sam did at the talent show? Sam sung
- A guy did squats at a talent show... He called it a stand up routine.
- Why did the eagle win the talent show? Because he was TALONted!
- What did the banana do at the talent show? A Split!
- Syria versed the US in a talent show Syria did okay but the US bombed
- What do you call a talent show for birds? Chicken Got Talons.
- What country has a singing talent show for the poor? It's Singapoor.
- What do you call an Arabian singing in a talent show? Arabian Idol.
- Why did the Dino Dance Team fail the Talent Show? They were all Nervous-Rex
- Did you hear about the t**... on the talent show!? apparently he blew the judges away!
Cheeky Talent Show Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about talent show you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean survivor show jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make talent show pranks.
A man auditioned for a talent show
A man auditioned for a talent show and when he walked on to the stage the judge asked him what was his talent. The man replied "I do bird impressions".The judge said "Thats not something we would be interested in". The man said "Thats ok" and flew out the window.
I took my dog to the local talent agent yesterday.
We walked through the door and I handed him our card:
"Barney. Talking dog."
The agent chuckled, leaned back in his chair, and said, "Alright, show me what you got."
"Hey Barn, how was work this week?"
"Rough."
"What goes on top of a house?"
"Roof."
"Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth."
Just then the agent grabbed us both and tossed us out into the street.
Barney was just sitting there, looking forlornly at the ground and shaking his head.
"Knew I should have said Hank Aaron."
A man heard a talk show was looking for people with unusual talents
When he showed up to audition for the segment the talk show host asked him what talent he was going to perform. The man explained "I imitate birds." The talk show host laughed, waving him away saying "thousands of people can imitate birds. We want something nobody has ever seen before." The man shrugged, flapped his arms, and flew away.
My wife and I were laying in bed watching a contortionist perform on a talent show.
As the lady went through her routine, I suggested to my wife that she should try becoming a contortionist. Without hesitation, she shouted "NO!"
I asked her to reconsider, suggesting ideas as they entered my creative mind. She immediately began yelling at me, calling me a pig, a dog, and even threatened to sleep on the couch.
I said "Hey...I thought you said you weren't going to get all bent out of shape."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So me and my p**... friends have a weekly gathering...
Every week one of us brings a talent down the pub to show the others - this time it was my turn.
I brought along my guitar and after some Dutch courage I began to play.
Within a few seconds of starting the guys started cheering me on, one of them was even weeping, saying how amazing the song was.
I had no idea what the big deal was, I was just f**... A minor.
The magic Dog
A man goes to a casting show for talents with his dog.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present: Gizmo the magic dog! I ask him a question and he answers it correct!"
The jury laughed, but he asked:"Gizmo, what is on top of this house?"
"Roof! Roof!", Gizmo said. The audience went quiet.
"Gizmo, what can sink ships?"
"Reef! Reef!", the dog said. One from the jury asked:"Is this a joke? This dog is just barking!"
"Wait! One last question! Gizmo, name one famous composer!"
"Orff! Orff!", Gizmo said.
Man and dog were thrown out of the building. On the street, Gizmo looked up to his owner and said:"I know, Frank. I should have said Mozart..."
A man has a talking dog
A man takes his talking dog to a talent show to showcase its talent.
They come on stage and the man says to the dog 'What do you find on trees?' and the dog replies 'Bark, bark'. The crowd boos.
The man says to the dog 'what do you find on top of a house?' and the dog replies 'roof, roof'. By this time the jeering intensifies and the crowd start throwing stuff on stage so embarrassed the pair return home.
In the car on the way home the dog turns to the man and says, 'Do you think I should have said chimney?'
There was this really talented female painter
and one day she painted this magnificent painting inspired by medieval times of a ball. It was filled with lords and ladies dancing with each other, a table filled with food for the feast, fools entertaining, and men in armor standing guard. She was so proud of this picture she called her friend over to show it to her.
The friend saw it and said, "Wow this is really great! But I have just one question, why was this painted mostly in red?"
"Well I used my menstrual blood to paint most of it." The painter replied. Her friend just stared at her in horror. She continued to explain, "Its a period piece you see."
I remember that one fateful day...
"I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really on the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. That's when I felt the handcuffs go on."
-Jack Handy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Talented Pets
A t**... goes into a bar and says to the barman 'Gimme a shot of your finest whiskey and I'll show you something amazing.'
The barman agrees and the t**... pulls out a hamster from his pocket and puts it on the piano stool. The hamster then begins to play the most incredible music that anyone in the bar had ever heard.
The t**... gets his shot of whiskey and says 'Another shot of that whiskey for something even more amazing'
The barman agrees and the t**... pulls out a frog, and places it on top of the piano. The frog starts to sing along with the hamster in the most beautiful tenor voice, cadencing perfectly with the hamster.
As the barman is pouring out the whiskey a man comes over to the t**... and says 'I'll give you $10000 for that frog, right here.' The t**... agrees and pockets a check while the man walks away with his frog. Meanwhile, the barman looks in disbelief and says to the t**... 'What're you doing? Those two could've made millions, let alone $10000.' The t**... turns to the barman and says 'Ah, but what he doesn't know, is that the hamster is also an excellent ventriloquist'