Following is our collection of funny Talent jokes. There are some talent flair jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these talent recruiters puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
First thing is, that I don't have the talent and the second is, that I cannot C sharp due to my glasses
A man walks into a talent agency, carrying a small, scruffy looking dog. He sets the dog on the agent's desk and begins his speech:
"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" Says the dog.
"Amazing! Dog: what is the opposite of smooth?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Incredible! Dog: who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"
Again, the dog says "Roof!"
"Remarkable! So what do you think?"
The agent leans back in his chair and says "Get lost. I can't sell that carny act."
Outside the agent's office, the dog looks up at the man and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"
A traveling sideshow puts up a help wanted ad. A guy gets all excited and applies.
The sideshow owner brings him in for an interview and asks, "Ok, what's your talent? What can you do for me?"
The guy says "I do a really great bird impression!"
The owner responds, "Pff, no thanks. Plenty of people can do that."
So the guy says "Oh..ok...well thanks anyway,' and flies away.
...it didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.
*Credit to America's Got Talent comedian (I don't remember his name)
That means no black people.
He did the wurst.
When he showed up to audition for the segment the talk show host asked him what talent he was going to perform. The man explained "I imitate birds." The talk show host laughed, waving him away saying "thousands of people can imitate birds. We want something nobody has ever seen before." The man shrugged, flapped his arms, and flew away.
apparently he blew the judges away!
A man walks into a bar with and octopus under his arms. He then stands up on the bar and shouts for everyone inside to hear. "I will bet anyone here 200 dollars that this octopus can play any instrument you give it". Everyone is a buzz and the bartender hands him a guitar that was hanging on the wall. The Octopus takes the guitar and strums on it with great enthusiasm and plays a beautiful arrangement. Another man pulls a harmonica out of his pocket and again, the octopus plays it superbly. A jazz band hands him all of there instruments and the octopus plays them all with amazing skill. Then, a Scottish man wearing a kilt comes up to the octopus and hands it his bagpipes. The octopus, looks at it confusingly then begins to fumble with the instrument. "Ay, you can't play er, can ye" The Scotsman says with a thick accent. The octopus responds "Play her? I'm going to screw her as soon as I get these pajamas off"
Every week one of us brings a talent down the pub to show the others - this time it was my turn.
I brought along my guitar and after some Dutch courage I began to play.
Within a few seconds of starting the guys started cheering me on, one of them was even weeping, saying how amazing the song was.
I had no idea what the big deal was, I was just fingering A minor.
Try me!
You can explore talent abilities reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean talent stage dad jokes. There are also talent puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
She could really cook.
It's a neat trick if you can do it
--Barry Cryer
Is there no end to this Olympic gold Medallist's
talent?
she was ambidextrose - she could polish off a box of chocolates with either hand.
Either you study hard, have a natural talent for it, or just skip it.
He called it a stand up routine.
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.
"Fancy buying me a drink?" She said,
"Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose."
"Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?"
"Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best."
"Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me."
So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate."
Because he was TALONted!
I had no port folio, had never drawn in my life and absolutely no talent.
I was furious when they rejected me because I was the perfect candidate.
Surely if anyone needs lessons it's me!
A swish list.
"You should go on America's Got Talent," I told her.
"I can't sing," she replied.
I said, "Exactly."
Difference between talent and god's gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject.
-This is talent.
A woman can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject.
-This is god's gift.
Apparently they haven't said this to Steven Seagal
Sam sung
Could be wurst..
And now I hear he's well-hung, too?
A man auditioned for a talent show and when he walked on to the stage the judge asked him what was his talent. The man replied "I do bird impressions".The judge said "Thats not something we would be interested in". The man said "Thats ok" and flew out the window.
"American Idle"
At the gate, St. Peter says, "because your beautiful voice and amazing talent brought happiness to so many people, we'll grant you one wish".
Chris thought about it for a moment and replied, "I'd like the world to be a kinder, better place".
So St. Peter killed Roger Ailes.
So I broke up with her, it's a shame to see a talent like that go to waste.
And what is your talent?
- I can speak!
I mean I get mirrors to crack up without any effort. Just natural talent I guess
A man goes to the circus and tells the talent recruiter that he would like to apply for a position. The recruiter asks what his talents are, and the man replies that he does amazing bird impressions. The recruiter tells the man he's seen a million bird impressions and is not interested. The man says, "that's too bad" and flies away.
never has someone made so much money with such little talent.
A Clap-Ton.
A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
"What are you doing?" he says.
"I'm trying to commit suicide," she says.
Sleazy driver says with sly grin "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a blow job."
So, she does.
After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! That's a wasted talent. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl....."
Why, it's gotta be the one and only MOZARTrella.
Person 1: I think I have a hidden talent.
Person 2: Oh cool, what is it?
P1: I don't know, I haven't found it yet.
Jake juggled, Daniel danced and Sam sung
Syria did okay but the US bombed
Sounds good, doesn't work.
He goes to see a psychologist and starts talking about his split personalities.
One is the charismatic singer who can perform and woo crowds with his talent and charm.
The other is Steve, who is reserved and shy and can't even speak in front of a more than a few people.
He starts off talking, timid and soft spoken.
The psychologist stops him and says Listen, first I'm gonna need you to be Frank with me
You either have it or you ain't.
A celebrity.
Latent.
A Split!
After an initial negative review, today my boss told me my talent is developing.
John: Bro i think i have a hidden talent
Max: Cool what is it
John: Dunno didn't find out yet
The talent agent tells the man off and kicks him out of his office. As the man and the dog are walking down the street the dog looks up at the man and says, Gee Bob, maybe you should have asked some harder questions .
Bdndjfkdhshdjfkfbshcjskahwjwwksndhcjdksbahxdkjbd
He's gifted
But i know they were just salty, because they knew they couldnt make their clothes disappear as well as i did.
Samsung
So i killed his mother.
You better leave me alone! I know judo, karate, taekwondo and bunch of other Japanese words!
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
it's a gift.
She meant that in my case, a talent is rarely evident
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the talent showcase jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working talent creativity piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.