Talent Agent Jokes
11 talent agent jokes and hilarious talent agent puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about talent agent that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Talent Agent Short Jokes
Short talent agent jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The talent agent humour may include short talent jokes also.
- A man walks into a talent agency with a litter of kittens... The Agent asks: "What do you call this?"
The man responds: "The Aristocats!"
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Talent Agent Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about talent agent you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean estate agent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make talent agent pranks.
Since we seem to be doing talking dog jokes today...
A man walks into a talent agency, carrying a small, scruffy looking dog. He sets the dog on the agent's desk and begins his speech:
"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" Says the dog.
"Amazing! Dog: what is the opposite of smooth?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Incredible! Dog: who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"
Again, the dog says "Roof!"
"Remarkable! So what do you think?"
The agent leans back in his chair and says "Get lost. I can't sell that carny act."
Outside the agent's office, the dog looks up at the man and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"
I took my dog to the local talent agent yesterday.
We walked through the door and I handed him our card:
"Barney. Talking dog."
The agent chuckled, leaned back in his chair, and said, "Alright, show me what you got."
"Hey Barn, how was work this week?"
"Rough."
"What goes on top of a house?"
"Roof."
"Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth."
Just then the agent grabbed us both and tossed us out into the street.
Barney was just sitting there, looking forlornly at the ground and shaking his head.
"Knew I should have said Hank Aaron."
A man walks into a talent agency with his dog claiming it can talk. The agent says, ok, let's see if this dog is gonna make us rich . The guy says, Fido, what's the top of a house called ? Roof! What's on a tree ? Bark! How does sandpaper feel ? Ruff!
The talent agent tells the man off and kicks him out of his office. As the man and the dog are walking down the street the dog looks up at the man and says, Gee Bob, maybe you should have asked some harder questions .
Bob Saget aristocrat joke
Man #1: A guy goes into a talent agent's office. He says, `I have the greatest act in the world.'
Man #2: Hey, oh.
Man #3: Me and my wife go on stage. We get undressed and I start (censored) my wife.
Man #4: I remember my grandmother sitting me down and telling me the joke. So she only spoke Yiddish. The only English word she knew was (censored).
A man claims to have a talking dog, and takes him to a talent agent.
The agent says, "Let's hear what he can do." So the man asks the dog,"What's the texture of concrete?" The dog says "Rough!" The agent says, "Try again."
The man asks the dog,"What's on top of a house?" The dog says "Roof!" The agent says, "This is nonsense. I don't have time for this." The man pleads for one more chance, and the agent tells him OK.
The man asks the dog,"Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog says "Ruth!" The agent kicks them out of the office. As they're leaving the building, the dog looks up and asks, "Do you think I should have said Ty Cobb?"
A man takes his dog to a talent agent
A man and a dog meet with a talent agent.
Man: My dog here is able to talk.
Talent Agent: Ok I'm interested. Make him say something.
Man: Ok boy, what is on top of a house?
Dog: Roof!
Man: What is on the outside of trees?
Dog: Bark!
Man: Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?
Dog: Ruth!
Talent Agent: I've seen enough of this.
The talent agent throws them out of his office where the man and his dog land in the gutter. Then the dog turns to his master and says, "maybe I should've said DiMaggio."
Man walks into a bar.
Man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While finishing his pint he notices that the music from the corner is from a Dog playing a Piano and a Frog singing impeccably.
The man is stunned and turns back to the Landlord.
He asks the landlord "Excuse me, how much for the Dog and the Frog? I'm a talent agent and this is just the act i am looking for"
The landlord replies "They are not for sale, i couldn't part with both of them"
The talent agent thinks about this and says "Ok, i will give you a hundred grand for one of them"
The landlord thinks about this and then agrees to sell him the frog, the Agent excitedly he pays the landlord and packs the Frog safely away and disappears off down the road.
One of the regulars turns to the landlord and says "Why did you sell the frog and not the dog?"
The landlord looks at him and smiles "Do you know how hard it is to teach a dog ventriloquism AND play the piano?"
Old-School off-beat joke
A man walks into a talent agency with a dog, he says to the guy "You're gonna love this! My dog can talk!"
He turns to his dog and says "What's on top of everyone's house?"
The dog says "Roof!"
"Who's the greatest baseball player to ever live?"
The dog says "Roof!"
The talent agent says "I've seen enough! Get out of here!" and he throws the man and the dog out.
The man looks at the dog.
The dog looks up at him and says, "What, you think I should have said DiMaggio?"
Ruth! (not sure if repost)
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what's on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go 'roof'." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
A guy takes his talking dog to a talent scout.
This dog can speak English, he claims to the unimpressed agent. Okay, Sport, the guys says to the dog, what's on the top of a house?
Roof! the dog replies.
Oh, come on… the talent agent responds. All dogs go 'roof'.
No, wait, the guy says. He asks the dog, What does sandpaper feel like?
Rough! the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. No, hang on, the guy says. This one will amaze you. He turns and asks the dog, Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?
Ruth! goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.
The dog turns to the guy and says, Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?