Taking Forever Jokes
61 taking forever jokes and hilarious taking forever puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about taking forever that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Taking Forever Short Jokes
Short taking forever jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The taking forever humour may include short long wait jokes also.
- I think weekends are made in China They don't last very long, and they take forever to arrive.
- How many twitter people does it take to change a light bulb Twelve million and one. One to change the lightbulb and twelve million to complain about how that one person ruined light bulbs forever
- How many Jedi does it take to screw in a hallway lightbulb? None, because once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny.
- Grandpa said he wanted to be buried with his golf clubs But this is taking forever and my arms are tired!
- Why did a dad take his son to a burger shop before leaving forever? To get him a bison burger
- 5 yo: Can you count backwards from infinity? Me: Of course I can but it will take forever.
- I have a real problem with rhino poaching. You have to get the pan custom-made and then it takes forever to get the water hot.
- Last night I was driving down an old country road when I hit a pedestrian going 50 mph. It seemed to take forever for help to arrive. That's the last time I use that towing company.
- I think I discovered the secret to immortality. Unfortunately it's going to take forever to test.
- Former Vice President Joe's taking forever to announce running in 2020 I guess he's just Biden his time.
I wonder what his decision dePence on, is he afraid that he will be Chene'd to it?
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Taking Forever One Liners
Which taking forever one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with taking forever? I can suggest the ones about time consuming and longtime.
- Man, it's gonna take FOREVER to decompress this file Sigh. *unzips*
- My wife is knitting an infinity scarf. It's going to take her forever to finish it.
- What kind of eating contest takes forever? A pi eating contest!
- I've been taking these pills that are supposed to make you live forever. So far, so good.
- What do my girlfriend and Spring have in common? They both take forever to come.
- Stripping. I am a mobius stripper. I take my top off... forever.
- When doing exams.. You'd think I was having s**.... Takes me forever to finish.
Taking Forever Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about taking forever you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lasting longer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make taking forever pranks.
Three men walk into a bar.
The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever."
The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."
So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.
Finally, the third man goes down.
When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.
He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom.
First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
A young couple dies on their way to their wedding....
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer.... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all?
What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?'
Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.
Yes,' he informed the couple, 'You can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple. 'But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!!!' St. Peter shouted. 'It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?
I found this story amusing.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
An Engineer, a priest, and a doctor...
An engineer , a priest, and a doctor are all out golfing when they notice three blind men golfing in front of them. The blind are taking forever and the doctor calls over the club house manager and asks what's going on. The manager says well you see those are three firemen that saved our clubhouse from burning down last year and they lost their eyesight in the process, so we let them golf for free as much as they want. The priest then says " oh my ..I am going to say a prayer for them, to help them in any way I can". Then the doctor says "I'm going to ask them if there's anything I can do to help get their sight back". Then the engineer has been thinking for a minute and then asked the manager. " why can't they play at night"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How is college like a woman?
It takes forever to get in, and nine months later you wish you hadn't come.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An airplane is flying over the Atlantic when suddenly...
One out of four engines explodes. The pilot says over the intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we lost one out of four engines. This is no cause for panic, as we still have three engines that work fine. However, instead of the two hour flight we planned, it will take us three hours. Thank you for your patience."
All seems fine until an hour later, when another loud e**... sounds. The pilot once again comes over the intercom and says, "Hey there, folks. No need to be alarmed; we lost another engine, but rest assured this airplane is still perfectly safe. Unfortunately this makes our delay an hour longer. Thank you four your cooperation."
Another hour goes by without incident, when there is another e**.... "This is your Pilot once again...we lost our third of four engines, but don't worry at all, we are still in good shape. I am sorry to inform you that we will once again be delayed and it will take us five hours to get to our destination. We apologize and thank you for flying with us."
One passenger turns to the next and says, "At this rate we'll be up here forever!"
This joke is my uncle Pedro's 3rd favourite...
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the school formal. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. This also takes forever, but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and eventually gets one.
Finally, it's the day of the school formal. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a wonderful time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
The ladder to success
A man who has just died finds himself standing at the gates of Heaven. To his right he sees an attractive woman, and to his left is a ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and spend eternity with me, or climb the ladder to success." The man, always eager to get ahead in life, chooses to climb the ladder.
The man finds an even more beautiful woman standing in front of another gate. Next to her is another ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and all your fantasies will be granted, or climb the ladder to success." This time the man is tempted, but his greed takes over and he climbs the ladder higher.
He again encounters a woman. This woman, however; is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She says, "come with me and I will satisfy your deepest desires forever, or climb the ladder to success." The man can't believe his luck. He decides to take his chances and climbs the ladder. He comes to another gate. This time there is no woman waiting for him, but a fat, balding, sweaty man instead.
"Are you God?" the man asks. "No," the sweaty man replies. "I'm Cess."
The problem with getting married in heaven..
On their way to get married a couple gets into a fatal car accident. They are sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to turn up and register them. While they're waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him.
St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone's ever asked. Let me go and
find out," and he leaves.
The couple sits around for a couple of months and begins to wonder if they really should get married in heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all, What if it doesn ' t work out, they wonder. Are we stuck together forever?
St. Peter returns after another month looking somewhat worn out. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in heaven. "
" Great , " says the couple, " but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in heaven? "
St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
"What ' s wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple.
"Christ!" St. Peter exclaims. "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take me to find a lawyer? "
Hot girl at prom
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
A boy is taking a girl to the prom...
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers.
Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done.
Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time.
When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.
A statistician is on an airplane...
when one of the engines goes out. The pilot gets on the intercom and says "don't worry folks, we've still got three engines, but its going to take us a bit longer to get to our destination. We're about 6 hours out now."
However, before long, another engine goes out. The pilot comes on again and says "we've lost another engine, but we're still in the air, but we've slowed down a bit. It's going to take us 8 hours to get there now."
However, luck was not with them, and a third engine dies. The pilot gets on the intercom and says "don't panic, we can still fly with only one engine, but it's going to take us 12 hours to get there."
The statistician turns to his neighbor and says "I hope that last engine doesn't go out, or it's going to take us forever to get there!"
So me and the girl i have a crush on were practicing math problems..
After a while she looks at me and says "Do you want to take this to the next level?". I had been waiting for this moment forever, hence i said yes. She then proceeded to take out the book on Advanced Mathematics.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My math teacher told me this one today
Two guys were flying over the Sahara Desert in a hot air balloon. They were completely lost, and had no way to find out where to go to get to civilization.
Suddenly, they see a man walking on the ground. Thinking they may be close to some kind of settlement, o**... calls down to the man:
"HEY! WHERE ARE WE?!"
The two in the balloon wait what seems like forever, until finally the man calls back:
"IN THE DESERT!" and the man was then lost from their sight.
"What an idiot," said one man.
"He's not an idiot," said the second man, "He's just a mathematician."
"A mathematician? How could you know that?"
"Three reasons. One, it takes forever for the answer. Second, he's 100% correct, and third, the information he provided was completely useless."
These passengers are sitting on a plane...
These passengers are sitting on a plane when the pilot comes over the speaker and says *"We're sorry ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has gone out, but not to worry because we can make the rest of the flight on three engines. It will just take an extra hour."*
A little while later, the pilot comes on again and says *"A second engine has gone out but not to worry, we can make it on two engines. It will just add another 2 hours."*
Against all odds, the pilot comes on again and says *"We are sorry, but another engine has gone out. Not to worry though, we can make it on just one engine. It will just add 3 hours to the trip."*
At this point, one passenger turns to another and says
*"If that fourth engine goes out, we'll be up here forever!"*
Two statisticians were traveling in an airplane from LA to New York.
About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York.
A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York.
Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine. However, it would now take 18 hours to get to New York.
At this point, one statistician turned to the other and said, Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!
Prom Date
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. There two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time.
When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and ... there's no punchline.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Original joke. Hey! I tried.
I got this friend, he and I can't agree on anything. It's a constant battle.
We go on a trip together every year and this year, after much debate, we decided to take a trip to Las Vegas.
So, we're enjoying our first night in Vegas, we're both a little drunk and my buddy says, "Hey, let's get a h**...." I'm pretty drunk too, so I agree.
We go to a brothel and of course it takes us forever to agree on a girl, but we finally do. A nice young girl named Paige.
So, we go to the room, we all get undressed and start going at it. My buddy and I are both pounding away, I finally catch his eye and I say, "Hey! I'm glad to see we're finally on the same Paige!"
but wheres the punch line?
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Australians take forever to play chess?
Because they never make it past the first check, mate.
My kindergarten-aged daughter...
Suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean t-shirt to class. She told us that the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. My wife practically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one t-shirt that already had something printed on the side. She sent it off to school with my daughter.
That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt. On one side it said, "Families are Forever". And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Ranch and Men have in common that women don't?...
They don't take forever to get dressed
(Corny. Kek I'll leave)
I have some serious GI issues. So I subscribed to Constipation Magazine...
But it takes forever for an issue to come out.
Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?
Because they are always a little behind
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries
My coworker takes forever to respond to emails...
for a web developer, he's not very responsive.
I got a strange note in my bag at the taco bell drive-thru last night...
The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."
I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"
Going to the prom.....
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom.
First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
A guy is ready to leave for the party but his wife is taking forever. He looks at his watch and yells to the bedroom, We're gonna be late! Are you ready yet?
She yells back, Don't you ever listen? I've told you for an hour I'll be ready in a minute!
If life is short, and death is long...
Is that the reason dying seemingly takes forever to do?
Donald Trump built a house of cards out of his Magic the Gathering collection.
It was a little house, but it had multiple floors, and was even sturdy enough for a sitting room on the second floor. Donald loved to go up there and draw in his coloring books. One day he thought something might be wrong with it, which frustrated him, since he had worked so hard on it. Angrily, he stomped around trying to find any defects. He stomped so hard it collapsed on top of him, burying him forever! He had put so much faith in that mana fort, only to have it fold under cross examination, taking him down with it.
The people that I've hired to clean our vents are taking forever.
Sorry, I'm just venting.
Of course the Silmarillion seems to take forever to read.
Everybody knows a silmarillion comes after a sextillion
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm sitting and waiting for a seminar on Tantric s**... to end.
The speaker is taking forever to come.
A basketball joke
I was playing pig with my brother and it was taking forever so we decided to just play pi. But now it's been going on forever!!
A boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom
First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
At the prom, the two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.