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Taking A Picture Jokes

134 taking a picture jokes and hilarious taking a picture puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about taking a picture that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Taking A Picture Short Jokes

Short taking a picture jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The taking a picture humour may include short taking selfies jokes also.

  1. My uncle was taking our picture at a dairy farm in Wisconsin when he was crushed by a giant wheel of cheese. We tried to warn him.
  2. What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only take 1 nail to hang the picture.
  3. If you find it hard to take pictures of yourself in the sauna... You have selfie-steam issues.
  4. How many Karen's does it take to hang a picture. 1, if she talks for long enough the picture will hang itself.
  5. As a food photographer, I've always hated taking pictures of rice They always come out too grainy
  6. Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus It takes 1 nail to hang a picture
  7. I tried to take some High Res pictures of my farmland and fields. They still came out pretty grainy.
  8. Women that breastfeed in public are so miserable They never smile when I take their picture
  9. How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change it, one to take pictures and four to make t-shirts for the event.
  10. How many 12 year old girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 11; 1 to actually put the lightbulb in, and the other 10 to take hundreds of pictures and upload them to Facebook.

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Taking A Picture One Liners

Which taking a picture one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with taking a picture? I can suggest the ones about posting picture and photograph.

  1. Why couldn't the press take pictures of the fastest superhero? No Flash photography.
  2. What does a photographer have in common with an art thief? The both take pictures.
  3. How do you take a picture of an eclipse without a camera? Stare at it for 30 seconds
  4. I hate taking pictures at the beach... They're always so grainy
  5. I tried to take a picture of some fog... I mist.
    ^I'll^see^myself^out^BYE!
  6. What do you call a picture where the prisoners take their own mug shots? Cellfies
  7. What is it called when you take pictures with plants? photosynthesis
  8. What do you call someone who takes pictures of gases as they're released? A fartographer
  9. What kind of pictures does Santa Claus take? Elfies!
  10. Why was a midget depressed after taking a picture in front of a geyser? Low selfie-steam
  11. What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shellfies!
  12. Growing up my father was never in the picture. He was always the one taking them
  13. Why do tourists always take pictures in Paris? Because the tower is an Eiffel.
  14. I just can't take pictures of myself anymore... I've run out of selfie-steam.
  15. Yo mama's so hairy, when she goes camping Bigfoot tries taking pictures of her

Taking A Picture joke, Yo mama's so hairy, when she goes camping

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about taking a picture can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of taking a picture puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Taking A Picture Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about taking a picture you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean photo with jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make taking a picture prank.

Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?
When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner?
No?
Me neither.

It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.
"Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder."
The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"

Jewish ad campaign

Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!

A cop knocks on a man's front door late one night

and he asks to see a picture of the man's wife. "Sure," he says, a bit puzzled. The man produces a picture from his wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer takes one look and takes a long, deep breath.
With difficulty, he looks the man in the eyes and says, "Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your wife's been hit by a truck."
The man replies, "I know, but she's got a great personality and she can really cook."

In California...

Did you know that in California you cannot take a picture of a woman with a basket of strawberries?
...you need a camera because strawberries do not take pictures.

A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver

A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driving her car. The blonde cop says "You were going pretty fast back there. Can I see your license?"
The blonde driver looks confused.
The blonde cop says "Its a little square thing with your picture on it"
The blonde driver reaches in her bag and hands the cop her makeup mirror.
The cop takes the mirror, looks at it and exclaims "Well why didn't you tell me you were a cop? On you go. Have a great day".

One of my favourite jokes. Might take a minute to sink in...

I saw a guy having an epileptic fit in a nightclub. Everyone was just standing around watching, pointing at him and talking about it. "Look!! That guy's having a fit!!" etc...
I said "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer."

How many sorority members does it take to screw in a light bulb?

8...1 to screw it in, 2 to take pictures and 5 to make t-shirts for the event.

A blonde cop pulls over a blonde speeder

A blonde cop pulls over a blonde speeder. "Can I see your licence ma'am?"
"My what?" says the driver.
"Your licence," says the cop, "It's the little square thing that has your picture on it."
"Oh!" says the driver and hands over her compact.
The cop takes one look and says, "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

You want hear Latvian joke? Okay, I am tell...

Why Latvian take so good pictures?
No potato.

3 days ago I got a pass-code lock that takes a picture whenever someone enters the wrong code in my phone.

So far I have 26 pictures of drunk me.

I like taking pictures with my friends

but my mom says she didn't raise a thief

Why was Jesus Christ a lousy hockey player?

He was always getting nailed to the boards.
Why couldn't Jesus eat M&M's?
His hands are full of holes!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jeus?
It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus.

At some point out there...

There's a teenage girl that's taking pictures of the Grand Canyon with the camera in Portrait mode.

A guy goes into a bar...

He sits and ask for 2 beers. After he finished them, he take something in his pocket, look at it, put it back and ask for 2 more beers. After he finished them, he did the same process and ask for 2 more beers.
After he did it 4 more times, the bartender intrigued ask the guy what's in his pocket.
- Ohh its just a picture of my wive! When i'm drunk enough to find her attractive I know it's time to go home.

I need to get one of those gadgets for my camera so I can take pictures of myself.

I think it's called a narciss-stick.

How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb?

2.
1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.

A Marine received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home...

It read as follows:
---
*Michael*,
*I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is too great and too long. I must confess that I have cheated on you twice, and this situation is not fair for either of us. I'm really sorry.*
*Love, Elizabeth*
*P.S. Please return the picture you have of me*
---
The Marine, his feelings hurt, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they had of mothers, sisters, girlfriends, cousins, ex-girlfriends, or aunts they had. After a while he had obtained a sizeable collection, and so he stuffed them all 62 of them into an envelope, including the picture of Elizabeth, along with this letter:
---
*Elizabeth,*
*I can't quite remember what you look like. Please take your picture from the pile and return the rest.*
*Take care, Michael*

Photographers never like it when a camera can't take pictures.

They shutter at the thought.

I still carry a picture of my wife in my wallet

Been married 20 years, but I still carry my
wife's picture in my wallet.
Whenever I face difficulties in life, I take
out my wallet and stare at her picture.
And it comforts me knowing that...
If I survived being married to this psycho,
I can survive anything.

Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him?

It only takes one nail to put him on a wall.

I hate taking pictures of mirrors.

The pictures always come out with some a**hole in them.

What's better Jesus or a picture of Jesus

A picture because it only takes one nail to hang a picture.

A woman goes into a pharmacy

She says to the pharmacist, "I'd like a poison that will kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes."
The pharmacist says, "Ma'am, not only can I not do that for you, I'm going to call the police and report you."
The woman takes out something out of her pocket and hands it to him. It's a picture of her husband having s**... with the Pharmacist's wife.
"Oh, you should have told me you had a prescription."

How many feminists does it take to make a sandwich?

12
One to make the sandwich,
One to excoriate men for creating hunger,
One to blame men for inventing such a laborious recipe,
One to suggest the whole "putting meat in between two non-consenting flaps of bread" bit to be too "r**...-like",
One to deconstruct the Bologna sausage itself as being p**...,
One to blame men for not making the sandwich,
One to blame men for trying to make the sandwich instead of letting a woman do it,
One to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from eating,
One to blame men for creating a society where women make too many sandwiches,
One to advocate that sandwich makers should have wage parity with Michelin star chefs,
One to alert the media that women are now "out-sandwiching" men,
And one to take pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

As I stared at my grandpa on his deathbed not knowing what to say, he turned to me and mumbled "take my picture...

it'll last longer."

Two Arabs sit in the Gaza s**..., enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk.

One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures.
"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"
The second Arab nods, They blow up so fast, don't they?"

I hate taking pictures of myself.

I have a low selfiesteem.

A guy asks a bartender for a shot

After drinking it, the guys looks into his pocket and says, "Hit me again."
The bartender pours more liquor into the mans shot glass. The man takes the shot, looks into his pocket, and says, "Hit me again."
5 shots laters, the bartender asks the man, "Sir, why do you keep looking into your pocket?"
The man replies, "Well, you see, I have a picture of my wife in here. And when she looks good to me, I'll go home."

How do you take a picture of the Little Mermaid?

Using Ariel photography. (If that doesn't work, try your shell phone.)

This old remote shutter release i found isn't working

My camera won't take pictures with it but the neighbors car has been crushed.

Got a password lock

that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong password to look into my phone.
Now I have fifty pictures of drunk me.

If you take a picture of yourself and put it in a locket...

...your independent.

An obese woman walked by me and winked.

I shirked, so she gyrated and told me to "take a picture it will last longer."
I retorted, "I don't doubt it."

What's the difference between meal prepping and eating left overs?

About 30 seconds that it takes to post a picture of it on Facebook

My work colleague asked me

Why do you keep a picture of your wife on your desk if you hate her so much?
I replied, In case I'm tempted to take a day off.

I remember when I went to Comic-Con...

It was so dark in there, I had to take a picture with The Flash...

What does a bookshelf have in common wit Sean Connery?

When they take a picture of themselves it's called a *shelfie*

Been married for 20 years

Been married for 20 years, but I still carry my wife's picture in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life, I take out my wallet and stare at her picture. And It comforts me knowing that... If I survived being married to this psycho, I can survive anything.

Yearbook doesn't take time,

It takes pictures.

A guy takes a shot at a bar and looks in his shirt pocket

A guy takes a shot at a bar and looks in his shirt pocket. He calls the bartender over and asks for another shot. Again, he downs the shot and looks back in his pocket.
He continues to do this and the bartender finally says, Every time I️ pour you a shot, you down it, look in your pocket and order another. What's in your pocket?
The guy responds, A picture of my wife. When she starts to look good I'll head home.

When I get a new wallet, the first thing I do is take out any of those little pictures that come with it...

I want to pretend the guy I shanked for it didn't exist, not stare at his family every time I go for some cash.

My girlfriend is how I get through tough times.

Been dating her for 5 years and I always keep her picture in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I take out my wallet and stare at her picture. And it comforts me knowing that if I can survive being in a relationship with this psychopath I can survive anything

Who takes the pictures for fake news?

Who takes the pictures for fake news?
Fauxtographers.

Aw shoot, I need new batteries for my camera.

- Aw shoot, I need new batteries for my camera.
- What does it take?
- Pictures.

What kind of pictures does Shaun Connery take?

Shelfies
alt. What kind of pictures do fish take?
Shellfies
alt. What do hermit c**... call their utility bills?
Shell Fees
alt. Why did my wife leave me?
h**...

What's better to have at home, Jesus or a picture of Jesus?

The picture, it only takes one nail to put it up!

I used to read shampoo bottles while on the toilet..

But now with smartphones I can just take a picture of the bottle and read it anywhere!

Why can't you take a picture of a man with a walking stick?

Ans: You take a photo with a camera not a walking stick.

I bought a homeless man a sandwich and a cup of tea...

and I forgot to take a picture and tell the Internet. Absolute waste of a fiver that.

A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver

The cop tells the driver "License please."
"What is a license?" the driver answers.
The cop replies "it goes in your wallet, has a picture of you on it..."
As the blonde driver digs through her purse, after a while she pulls an object out, looks at it for a second, smiles, says "Found it! Here you go officer!" and hands a mirror to the cop.
The cop takes off her aviators, looks in the mirror, rolls her eyes, and hands it back to the driver.
"If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over!"

My girlfriend complained about how ugly the pictures I was taking of her were...

I said Well what do you want me to do? That's what you look like.

I was out by Starbucks today and saw a woman taking a picture of her food. she was there for 45 minutes trying to get the perfect angle,

Then I realized I just started at a woman from across the room for 45 minutes.

Why aren't there many pictures of the Sphinx from the back?

People get uncomfortable taking pictures of its sphinxter

My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself in the shower

I guess you could say he has selfie steam issues

My friend has a habit of taking blurry pictures of himself in the bathroom mirror after taking hot showers...

I thunk he has a high selfie steam problem.

Why didn't the man take a picture with n**...?

Because he was too much on the left.

My friend is addicted to taking blurry pictures of himself in the shower.

He has some serious selfie steam issues.

What is the difference between Jesus himself and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang a picture.

Becky discussing with her friend Karen

Becky: Last week, my uncle was taking pictures of me and asked me to climb up a ladder so he could get a better angle.
Karen: did you do it?.. it was just an excuse to see your p**....
Becky: I know. That's why I took it off before climbing the ladder.

A man is sitting at a bar...

Orders a shot, pulls a picture out of his shirt pocket, looks at it, takes a shot. Same routine repeats 6 more times. Bartender asks: "Hey buddy, next round is on the house, if you tell me what your routine is all about".
"Ok", says patron, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and I look at it before I drink. When she starts to look hot, I know it's time for me to go home"

Taking A Picture joke, A man is sitting at a bar...

jokes about taking a picture

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these taking a picture jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.