The Best 39 Takeout Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Takeout jokes. There are some takeout burritos jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these takeout entree puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Takeout Jokes and Puns

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50

Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.


Chinese takeout $20.00.. Gas to pick it up $10.00..

Getting home and realising they have forgotten one of your containers..


Chinese takeout

Chinese food to go $15. Gas to go pick it up $1.50. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of my containers.... Riceless.

Takeout joke, Chinese takeout

My prejudiced grandfather

One time I was reheating leftover fried rice from Chinese take-out, and I decided to mix in some basmati we had from the Indian restaurant. My grandfather smacked me on the head and told me to knock it off.

He believes in separating the rices.

What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout ?

Make it Tso!

Chinese takeout: $10.25. Gas to get there and back: $3.25.

Realizing that you got all the way home without one of the containers: riceless

Thank you for calling Planned Parenthood...

Will this be for delivery or take-out?

Takeout joke, Thank you for calling Planned Parenthood...

Chinese takeout

My wife has been angry at me all night for bringing her six bowls of soup back from the local Chinese restaurant.

I don't know what her deal is, she very clearly asked for wanton soup.

What's the difference between a take-out dinner and a make-out session?

How can you take something out you've never put in?

Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:


First time trying New York Chinese takeout and was asked how I liked it.

It was Tso Good.

You can explore takeout chinese reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean takeout msg dad jokes. There are also takeout puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

There is one thing that United got right: their food is just great.

I hear they even serve a Chinese take-out now.

When I eat on airplanes...

I go for the Chinese Takeout.

Unites Airlines newest in-flight cuisine

Chinese Takeout

UPDATE: United Airlines now offering a new addition to their inflight meals

chinese takeout

United Airlines

United Airlines, now offering Chinese take-out........

Takeout joke, United Airlines

United is #2 in chinese takeout...

#1 is Napalm

What kind of restaurant is most common in the airport in Houston?

Asian takeout

What's United's favorite meal?

Chinese takeout

Have you seen United Airline's on-board menu?

I heard their Chinese take-out was especially famous.

I got takeout Indian food and realized when I got home that they forgot about the bread.

It was a naan issue.

Chinese takeout: 13.99 gas to get there: 3.99

Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: riceless

A man goes to a Chinese takeout.

Orders the starter combo platter, eats one piece, leaves the rest on the counter,

and strolls off with wanton abandon.

Asian stereotype joke

An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
He says "Flied lice please."
He leaves but comes back a minute later
"This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice."

I just ordered takeout.

I had to fill out a 37-page questionnaire detailing my political beliefs. Separation of powers cost me an egg roll.

Why did the depressed Mexican order chinese takeout?

Because he was feeling lo mein

My truck flipped and crashed after I brought on my takeout.

Apparently it was Wonton too heavy.

Ordered takeout from Door Dash and offered the Dasher some fries.

"Nah, I'm good. I already had some"

What can be said for Vietnamese soilders and takeout food?

They never make it home

Chinese takeout: $8. Tip :$2. Getting home

and finding out that they forgot part of your order: riceless.

I got some Chinese takeout. After the meal, the cookie was empty.

That was unfortunate.

I think it's a mistake that we call childbirth delivery .

It should be called takeout instead.

What's an assassin's favourite type of restaurant?

A take-out restaurant

What is Batman's least favorite food?

A: Chinese takeout

I think it was a mistake to call childbirth delivery .

It should have been called takeout instead.

I just couldn't decide which asian takeout food I like the best, Japanese or Chinese.

I ended up calling it a Thai.

Before ordering takeout, the Indian guy made himself some piping hot tea, but spilled it on himself.

He got chai knees.

They say you shouldn't eat takeout too often because it makes you fat...

I think it's worth the weight.

I got fired from my job at Planned Parenthood

My boss didn't like me saying Takeout or delivery? whenever someone walked in the door

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the takeout dinners jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working takeout korma piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes