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Tailor Jokes

98 tailor jokes and hilarious tailor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tailor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some of the funniest tailor jokes out there. From the classic Jewish tailor jokes to tailor puns that'll have you in stitches, we've got a hilarious selection of tailor jokes to make you laugh. Share these tailor jokes with friends and family on WhatsApp or even with your local suit maker.

Best Short Tailor Jokes

Short tailor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tailor humour may include short seamstress jokes also.

  1. A man walks into a tailor to buy a tuxedo. He confidently tells the tailor he doesn't need any assistance. The tailor says… ... "Fine. suit yourself."
  2. I wish these two tailors would get on with their fight.... I wish these two tailors would get on with their fight.
    They've been sizing each other up for hours.
  3. Once in ancient Athens a man walked into a tailor's shop Eumenides? The man asked the tailor
    Euripides? The tailor asked the man
  4. I was in a tailor. I said to the guy, "I need something for a wedding."
    "What's that?" he queried.
    "A woman that really loves me." I wept, leaving the shop.
  5. It's Ancient Greece and a playwright goes to a tailor to have his clothes fixed. The tailor looks at the clothes and says ah, Euripides
    The man looks at the tailor and says yes. Eumenides?
  6. A Greek man goes to a tailor to get some pants mended. The tailor takes one look at the pants and goes "Euripides?" The man nods. "Yeah. Eumenides?"
  7. Did you hear about the writer that became a tailor? He had to make an Ernest living, the Hemingway.
  8. My tailor has been really angry the past few weeks. This morning, he even refused to fixed my new pants which were too long I asked if he could cut me some slack
  9. Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits within 48 hours. It's called Tailor Swift.
  10. I took my shoddy suit to the tailors, and said, "can this be repaired? It looks like the stitching's come undone." "Hmmm, yes... ", he replied, examining the suit, "sew it's seams".

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Tailor joke, I took my shoddy suit to the tailors, and said, "can this be repaired? It looks like the stitching's


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about tailor can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of tailor puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Tailor One Liners

Which tailor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tailor? I can suggest the ones about suit fitting and fitter.

  1. I just opened an express clothing alteration business. It's called Tailor Swift.
  2. I told my tailor I wouldn't be needing his services anymore He said "Fine, suit yourself"
  3. What did the tailor say to the fed up customer? Suit yourself.
  4. What do you call a person who is really fast at altering clothes? Tailor Swift
  5. What do you do with a drunken tailor? Give him a belt because he's waisted
  6. The best tailor in town died. He was given a fitting eulogy.
  7. What do you say to get a tailor's attention? Ahem
  8. I wanted to be a tailor. But I didn't suit the job.
  9. What did the tailor say after a job well done? There is nothing left too loose.
  10. Did you hear about the broke tailor? He's hanging on by a thread..
  11. What do you call a fast seamstress? *Tailor Swift*
  12. Why did the Muslim tailor make so many veils? It's hijab.
  13. My father was a tailor I thought I would follow suit
  14. I met a tailor today He seams nice.
  15. What's the first rule of tailoring club? Britches get stitches.

Jewish Tailor Jokes

Here is a list of funny jewish tailor jokes and even better jewish tailor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a Jewish Tailor? A Hebrewdasher
Tailor joke, What do you call a Jewish Tailor?

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Tailor Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about tailor you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean butcher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make tailor prank.

I'm not having much luck with jobs lately.

I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn't suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn't cut it as barber; didn't have the patience to be a doctor; didn't fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian.

A n**... man runs into a tailor's shop.

The tailor says "you can't be in here with no clothes on!"
The man says "aw come on dude, cut me some slacks?"

Hear about the oriental tailor that got arrested for being too arrogant with his customers?

He was always feeling c**....

A Guy Walks Into A Tailor In Ancient Greece

He tosses a toga onto the counter. The tailor picks it up, turns it over and finds a gash across the waist.
The tailor looks up at the man and says, "Euripides?"
The man nods and says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"

I used to work at an orange juice factory but was fired because I couldn't concentrate.

So I tried my hand at being a lumberjack. I couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
Then i gave being a barber a go. But I didn't cut it.
I was then hired as a tailor and found I wasn't suited for the job.

Why did the man with 5 d**... take his pants to the tailor?

So they'd fit like a glove.

My uncle performed circumcisions...

He kept all the f**... and had a tailor make it into a wallet. Rub it for 5 minutes and you get a briefcase.

Greek Tailor's Shop

A Greek man walks into a Greek tailor shop holding a pair of jeans.
The blind old tailor squints at him. "Euripedes?"
The man nods and holds up the pants. "Eumenedes?"

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

The mohel

After many years, a mohel had saved the foreskins from thousands of circumcisions and didn't know what to do with them so he brought them to his tailor. A couple weeks later, the tailor hands the mohel a wallet and the mohel, disappointed, says, "I give you thousands of f**... and all you can make me is this wallet?!"
To which the tailor responds, " Yes, but rub it and it becomes a suitcase!"

What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending?

I can't find the twine.

Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

Where does a lizard go when it loses its tail?

A tailor

Why does Taylor Swift have so many new dresses?

Because she is a very swift tailor.

I told my waiter, "There's a fly in my soup!"

He said, "It's possible, the cook used to be a tailor."

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

Who's the fastest tailor in the world?

Sonic the Swift Taylor

My ex-girlfriend was like an incompetent tailor...

She didn't suit me.

My extremely slow tailor is trying to give me an impromptu fitting but I don't want to do it right now

I'm taking steps to prevent the measure

My friends are named after what they do...

My friend Butch is a butcher, my friend Taylor is a tailor, and my black friend's name is Rob

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

You should never trust a Scottish tailor.

It'll get you kilt.

What do a doctor and tailor both have in common?

They can both alter jeans.

Why Do tailors never make any money?

Because they rip what they sew.

What did the Tailor do when the man was upset that his pants were too long?

He cut the guy some slacks

What did the tailor say when he was given some bad news?

That's a lot to take in.

what did taylor swift say when she urgently needed a new suit?

tailor, swiftly please.

Tailored for you

Why was the tailor fired?
Because he didn't make the cut.

A tailor decides to leave his job...

It didn't suit him well.

What do you call a dirty tailor?

A sewer.

Mr. Taylor was a tailor, Mr. Shuman was a shoe man...

What was Mr. Dickinson?

A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.

"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."

As a lazy tailor says...

Suit yourself!

Sew one button, doesn't make you a tailor. Cook one meal, doesn't make you a chef.

But repost ONE joke and you're a reposter for all of history...

When I asked my tailor if it mattered that the stitching was unravelling on my pants, his only response was,...

"Frayed Sew"

My tailor became a lawyer.

Now he's sewing everyone.

I took my suit back to the tailor as the stitching had come undone.

I showed him the problem and he said, "Hmmm, yes... sew its seams".

Zippity do dah

My grandfather was having a nice suit made at a tailor shop. The tailor asked him "Would you prefer a button fly or zipper?" He thought about it for a while and said" b**... please, they are quieter in the movies."

Why did the tailor die?

He commited sewicide.

What do you call a fast tailor?

*Tailor Swift*

A tailor goes into a bank....

It was a stitch

Why did the FDA close down the convent's tailor shop?

Because it was found to be habit forming.

What do you call someone who makes and sells woven wheat?

A Wheat tailor

The Tailor

Tailor: problem?
Customer: Frayed sew
Tailor: Sew its seems!

I got into an argument with my tailor the other day...

We argued about my choice in clothes and he gave up and said
"Fine, suit yourself"

My dad works as a tailor specialising in creating tuxedos

I want to follow suit

I was going to a Taylor Swift concert but didn't have a new set of clothes for it.

So I went to the Tailor, Swift.

A woman was working at a l**... counter when a customer approached with a pair of frilly p**....

"I'd like to buy these," she said, "but only if you can embroider 'If you can read this, you're too close' on the back."
So the saleswoman took the p**... to the tailor in the backroom and described the rather unusual request.
The tailor said, "I can do that. Does she want block letters or script?"
Since the saleswoman didn't know, she went back around to the counter, and asked, "Do you want that in block letters or script?" And the customer replied with a smile, "Braille."

Why should you never ask a tailor how he's feeling?

Because he's always just sew sew.

I asked a tailor to hem my jeans

He did a bad job of it so I ended having to go to the retailer

I went to my tailor and asked if I could try on the suit in the window.

"Sure," he said, "but wouldn't it be more comfortable if you used the dressing room?"

A Greek goes to his tailor with ripped pants

The tailor: Euripides?
The customer: Eumenides?

greeks

So, a Greek guy walks into a tailor's shop with a pair of trousers that were torn.
The tailor looks at them and asks, Euripides?
The man nods and asks, Eumenides?

Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours of ordering.

It's called Tailor Swift.

What's the fastest way to annoy a tailor?

You push all his b**...

Lindsey Graham gets new suit

On a Senate trip to Japan, Lindsey Graham picked up some silk to have a custom suit made. At a top notch tailor shop in South Carolina, the tailor said with the material, he could make a single breasted suit.
Graham decided to wait, took the material to a tailor in New York who told him he could make a double breasted suit, a vest, and an extra pair of pants.
He asked, "How can you do so much more with this material than the tailor in South Carolina?"
"Well, senator, I guess you're not as big up here."

I'm not having much luck with jobs lately.

I wasn't suited to be a tailor.
The muffler factory was just exhausting.
I couldn't cut it as a barber.
I didn't have the patience to be a doctor.
I wasn't a good fit in the shoe factory even though I put my soul into it.
The paper shop folded. Pool maintenance was too draining.
I got fired from the cannon factory.
And I just couldn't see any future as a historian.

A lecturer of aincent greek took his fancy trousers to be mended. Euripedes? asked the tailor

Yes, replied the lecturer. Eumenides?

Tailor joke, What do you call a person who is really fast at altering clothes?

jokes about tailor

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these tailor jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.