Tail Jokes

Funniest Tail Short Jokes

Short tail jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tail humour may include short belt jokes also.

1. So you like limericks, huh? On the Breast of a woman named Gale
   was tattooed the price of her tail
   and on her behind
   for the sake of the blind
   was the same information in braile.
2. I think my goldfish likes it when I take him out of his bowl… He sure wags his tail a lot…
3. What's the difference between a crow and a raven? All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion.
4. Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2 I paid my $2 and he says "once upon a time, there was this lobster....."
5. I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
6. Where do dogs go when they need a new tail? A re-tail store.
   I think it's such a cute joke, it's one of my favs :)
7. Man went to the butchers and asked if he had any ox tales 'Sure' replied the butcher 'once upon a time an ox…'
   Sorry messed up title should read 'ox tails' whoops
8. Did you know that dogs chase their tails clockwise in the southern hemisphere and counter-clockwise in the northern hemisphere? It's called the Corgi-olis Effect.
9. Me: You know, since it doesn't have a tail, I'm pretty sure it is actually a hamster. IT: Okay sir. Please right-click your hamster, and save the file.
10. I heard married women sometimes grow an appendage out of their back side as they age. Maybe it's just an old wives tail.

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Tail One Liners

Which tail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tail? I can suggest the ones about slug and ting.

1. Where does a dog go when he loses his tail a retail store
2. Why is the number '9' like a peacock? It's nothing without its tail.
3. Where does a lizard go after it drops its tail? To the retail store
4. What's the perfect line of work for a lizard? Re-tail.
5. Where do lizards get their new tails? At the re-tail store
6. What does a mermaid wash her tail with? Tide
7. What do they call a cat that chases its tail? A purrrrricane
8. My crush is like a coin Lots of tail, and 50% chance of getting head
9. Why do ducks have tail feathers? To hide their buttquacks.
10. Lobster tail and beer. My 3 favorite things.
11. I can't believe rattlesnake warnings are called rattles and not cautionary tails
12. Why are geckos natural-born story tellers? Dropping a tail is in their nature.
13. I just told my best friend I loved her. She wagged her tail and licked my face.
14. I saw a lizard with two tails It was a case of reptile dysfunction
15. Where does a werewolf get a new tail? At the re-tail store!

Dog Tail Jokes

Here is a list of funny dog tail jokes and even better dog tail puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He picks it up by the tail and starts swinging it around his head What are you doing?! shouts the barman.
  Just having a look around
• clever dog Bloke walks into a pub and sees a dog playing poker with 3 men. "He must be a clever dog" the bloke says, "not really" says the barman "whenever he gets a good hand he wags his tail"
• What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed? Looks like we got a tail.
• You ever hear about the canine pilot from WWI? He got into a dog fight but thankfully he shook his tail.
• Dogs playing poker Why are dogs bad at poker?
  Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand.
  Why did John's dog win the poker tournament?
  Because he's a Doberman.
• Where do you take a dog when it loses its tail? The veterinarian
• My Dog's Pretty Good In Making Ends Meet By Chasing His Tail!
  I'll show myself out....
• Every dog has his day... But when he has a broken tail, he has a weak-end
• Why don't dogs play poker? Because they have very obvious tails
• I went to the vet to get the tails of both my dogs chopped off… My mother in law is coming to town and I wanted her to know nobody was happy to see her.

Cat Tail Jokes

Here is a list of funny cat tail jokes and even better cat tail puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail? Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer.
  Thank you. I'll be here all week.
• I saw a tail-less cat in the street today It was looking for a retail store.
• I saw a book on obedience training for cats… It was in the fairy-tails section.
• My cat rolled up into a ball with just its tail hanging out and won't move it's a cat apostrophe
• What would a cat say if you stepped on its tail? Me-Ow!
• "Heads or tails?" Asked Shane Dawson to his cat
• I heard that the cat with the worlds longest tail is 7 feet... But I think that's just a tall tail.
• The cat without a tail... Goes to a retailer.
• After my cat lost his tail, I took him to Walmart.. They were the biggest retailer I could think of.
• When the dog saw the cat, why did he cross the street? He was chasing tail. ^I'll^show^myself^out...

Tail Wagging Jokes

Here is a list of funny tail wagging jokes and even better tail wagging puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• With all this controversy about being friend zoned made me nervous,so one day I bent down and hugged my best friend and told her I love her,and she licked my face and wagged her tail!
• Why do dogs wag their tails? 'Cause nobody else will do it for them.
• Dog Problems My dog was having problems with his tail so I sent him to obedience school. A few weeks later there wasn't any improvement so I rang the school and found out he'd been wagging
• What do you call the condition where a dog uncontrollably wags its tail? Barkinson's Disease
• The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
• Sent my stool sample to the lab today... ...he just wagged his tail and asked for seconds.
• There were so many posts about being friend zoned, so I went and told my best friend I love her, and she licked my face and wagged her tail.😁
• When a male dog wags his tail he is excited. When a female dog wags her tail she is... A stripper

Lobster Tail Jokes

Here is a list of funny lobster tail jokes and even better lobster tail puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Seafood for thought A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. The waitress smiled sweetly and said, Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster…
• A guest at a restaurant asks the waiter... "do you have lobster tails?"
  The waiter replies: "Of course! Once upon a time, there was a little lobster....."
• So I walked by a restaurant in Maine! It had a sign up " Happy hour special:
  Lobster tail and beer!"
  I said to myself. Jesus, my three favorite things!
• A man walks by a bar, the sign says "lobster tail and beer $10" He goes, what a deal for my 3 favourite things!

Happy Tail Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about tail you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stalk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tail pranks.