Tags On Jokes
139 tags on jokes and hilarious tags on puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tags on that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tags On Short Jokes
Short tags on jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tags on humour may include short name tag jokes also.
- I changed the tags of my mother's herb jars. She hasn't notice it yet.. But the thyme is cumin
- TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed. It's called gluten tag.
- I got banned from laser tag today.... I guess they didn't like it when i used a knife to save ammo.
- When I was a kid my younger cousin always cheated at freeze tag, So I wasn't surprised when I heard he got shot by the cops
- A guy asks his Roman friend what size a shirt is. He looks at the XL on the tag and says, "it's a size 40."
- What did the bird say to the price tag? Cheep!
(As told to me this morning by my 7 year old son. He was quite proud of the joke.) - I got a new tag on my car On the front of my car, there's a license plate that says "Dodge."
That's not the manufacturer, it's a suggestion. - So now I'm banned from going to the laser tag fun center They said I'm not allowed to use melee attacks
- I asked my local store why they don't round the 99 cent price tags to a dollar They said that there's no cents in the change
- Doctor Griffith Doctor Griffith offers both Veterinary and Taxidermy services. His tag line is "Either way, you get your pet back".
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Tags On One Liners
Which tags on one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tags on? I can suggest the ones about hashtag and topics for.
- I got banned from laser tag today. Apparently they frown on using a knife to save ammo.
- What do you call a game where Germans throw bread at each other Gluten tag
- What did one German wheat farmer say to the other German wheat farmer? Gluten tag
- What do you get when you cross a church with a laser tag arena? Pew! Pew! Pew!
- Why do witches wear name tags? To know which witch is which.
- What's a snowman's favorite winter solstice game? "Freeze" tag!
- How do German bakers greet people Gluten tag
- What's the worst part about playing tag with a clown? When the clown is it.
- Why does Pennywise hate playing tag? Because he's always IT.
- How do you get the attention of a pervert? A Not Safe For Work Tag.
- Grocery shopping on a diet is easy in Germany.. Just look for the *gluten tag*.
- How do you greet a celiac German? Gluten Tag
- What's the policy at French morgues? Baguette and tag it.
- A kid playing tag runs up to Tim Curry and says... you're IT
- How do cows greet each other in Germany? Gluten tag.
Tags On Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about tags on you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hashtag for jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tags on pranks.
How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings.
As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.
On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming.
The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.”
She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing.
“That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself.
Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises.
“Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.”
“You’re absolutely right sweetheart,
”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.
“Now why were you laughing?” she asked.
“You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered.
“True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
“Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter.
“Why was it so quiet in your room last night?”
“Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever.
Finally, the customer behind me muttered, "Mr. Hare must be on vacation."
Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: "Mr. Turtle, sales associate."
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before.
"It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted.
Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag.
"Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter.
"All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
My town has a large epilepsy hospital
Today, I wanted to do something nice for the kids: they're always so sad about not being able to do normal things. It was a $1200 investment for all of them total, but...
Who's ready for laser tag!?
Woman buys parrot
A woman walks into a pet store, and is perusing through the various animals when she comes across one of the most beautiful parrots she has ever seen. She's taken aback by the tropical beauty of this bird, and when she looks on the price tag on the cage it says 50$. The woman turns to the man at the front counter and asks "Why is a bird this beautiful being sold for this little?" The man looks up and says "Oh, that bird was originally kept in a house of prostitution, and boy does he have a mouth". The woman takes the words to heart but buys the bird anyway. She buys it, and takes it home with her. She puts the bird in the living room. Suddenly the bird squawks "NEW HOUSE NEW MADAME!" The woman is put off by this but she figures that in a few days the bird will get over it. Her daughters come home from school and the bird speaks again "NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAME, NEW GIRLS!" Again the woman is off put but she assures her kids that the bird will grow out of its old habits. The woman's husband gets back in from a day at work. The parrot takes one look at him and squawks:
"HI GARY!!"
Actual conversation with Country Harvest about the launch of their new website.
Agent: Yeah so we're gonna need you to slice up those images and tag the categories.
Web Developer: Ok what about the products?
Agent: Put them in a box.
Web Developer: And the sub nav?
Agent: Yes, use breadcrumbs.
Web Developer: Ok great.
Agent: Let me know if any problems arise, we gotta get this wrapped up by this afternoon or we're toast!
I'm gonna open a bakery in Germany.
I'll call it "Gluten Tag!"
K-THX-BAI!!!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So my buddy at work has a favorite joke...
Got any n**... pictures of your wife...
Well you want some?
His wife just posted a picture on Facebook tagged #normalizebreastfeeding...with a close up. Tomorrow is going to be such a great day at work.
The difference between cats and dogs when you die
When you die, your dog will mourn you until the day he dies.
When you die, your cat will be playing with the toe tag while they're taking your body out the door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Frog walks into a bank looking for a loan
Bank Teller ("Whack" on her name tag"): Hello, what would you like?
Frog: I would like a loan.
Mrs. Whack: What is your name?
Frog: Kermit.
Mrs. Whack: You're not Kermit The Frog.
Kermit: No, I was named after him. Name's Kermit Jagger, father's name is m**... Jagger, mother's a frog.
Mrs. Whack: Okay, do you have any collateral
Kermit pulls out a tiny pink elephant
Mrs. Whack: Let me check that with my manager
Patty Whack goes into the back and asks the manger what the pink elephant is
Manager: That's a knick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone.
Cr
How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?
# nophiltrum
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally slept with a p**... last night...
I thought I was more careful and smart than that, I swear! I typically check the tags on their feet first! :(
Oscar Pistorius jailed for 5 years after authorities failed to find a good way of putting an electronic tag around his ankle.
I always dreamed about shopping without looking at price tags
I can now that I'm blind.
A couple of unemployed tough guys see a pair of crocodile shoes in a store window.
The one turns to the other and says, "Look at that price tag! I tell you there's money to be made there!"
So they spend the next 4 weeks in Florida hunting crocs. They kill several, eventually running out of bullets and resorting to a knife at first, then their bare hands.
The first one turns to the other and says, "I'll tell you what, if this next croc we see doesn't have shoes on I quit."
How many US Navy electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, and three hours. One to write the tags and hang them, one to second check and fix it, and a supervisor to verify the job was done correctly.
Stolen from Navy boyfriend
Tag line outside a Breast Implant Clinic:
If nature has given you "lemons"
we will re-arrange the alphabets & convert them into "melons" !!
Actual Critic
Armani blazer: 20k
Gucci shoes: 15k
Tag Heuer watch: 50k
Friend meets you and says "Looking Idiot" - Priceless
Jesus said...
Jesus said,"Ye with out sin throw the first stone."
So I threw a stone and tagged her hard.
Jesus looked at me and said, 'you know you have many sins right? '
I said I was sorry.
'You are forgiven' he told me.
So I threw another stone.
Bam!
How do German bread greet each other?
Gluten tag!
What do German kids play on the playground?
Guten tag!
A man and his wife go to a class reunion.....
A man and his wife go to a class reunion after a grueling 4 hour drive. When they arrive they're given name tags and head to the gymnasium.
They start talking to some friends when the wife is starting to get thirsty. So she asks the husband to go get in line to give her some punch.
He returns after 10 minutes with one empty cup, and when the wife asks about her drink the husband replies,
"Sorry honey, the punchline was too long and it wasn't that good"
If Nike was founded by a women
Then the tag line would be "Just do it....If you want too...I dont want to force you...Its your life...anyways you never listen to me...Do whatever you want...Who am I to say"
Did you hear about Disney's new Star Wars/ Highlander crossover?
The tag line is "There can be Obi-Wan."
What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk?
A centipede with a wooden leg!
*^^Joke ^^I ^^found ^^in ^^the ^^Tokyo ^^Ghoul ^^tag ^^on ^^Tumblr, ^^my ^^brother ^^loves ^^this ^^one!*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread...
it's called gluten tag.
I'll show myself out.
What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?
Gluten Tag
And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread?
Flour power
And when a lot of people do it at the same time?
a rye-ot
How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?
Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hillary Clinton was being driven in a private limo to a rally...
... when suddenly, the car hit a large and old-looking cow.
The driver got out and checked to see if it was dead. After confirming the death, he saw the tag on it that said it belonged to a nearby farm. He told Hillary Clinton that he would be going over to the farm to tell the farmers what happened.
About an hour later, he returned. His clothes were messed up, he was covered in lipstick, he had an expensive cigar in his mouth, and in both hands were two full bottles of the most expensive champagne ever.
"What happened?", Hillary asked.
"When I went to the farm, they eagerly invited me in. Then, the husband gave me this cigar, the wife gave me the wine, and their two daughters gave me the best s**... of my life!", the driver said with a huge smile on his face.
"What did you say to them?", Hillary asked.
"I said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I just killed the old cow', and the rest happened so quickly I couldn't do anything!"
Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress's name tag?
A: "What did you name the other one?"
I find the too soon tag a little strange.
Given that 3 am is a little too late for shots.
How do HTML elements greet each other?
Guten Tag!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do members of the Westboro Baptist Church only wear tagless shirts?
Because God hates tags.
What's a pirates favourite mean of fixing paper together?
Treasury tags.
"Let's bust this joint"
is the new tag line for the Artritis Support Group.
What did the Father Buffalo say to his boy as he was leaving for college?
Bi son
(dangit, not sure how I tagged it dirty. Submitted on my phone through BaconReader)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nobody wants to play laser tag with me…
They always say I get too into it when I start p**... whipping everyone.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A blonde is at the diner
A blonde is at a diner and when the waitress comes to take the order, the blonde reads the name tag out loud:
'Debbie, how sweet.... what do you call the other one?'
Looks like my favorite sandwich lost it's 50% off price tag
Is it too late for good-buys?
I hosted a seminar for multiple personality,
It took me hours to make all the name tags.
My girlfriend and I went to a restaurant and our German friend tagged along with us. I get the impression he eats a lot of calves.
There wasn't any meat on the menu, but he kept saying he felt like a third veal.
My friend JB had to get a name tag...
See JB's name was JB. It didn't stand for anything. No, sir. It was simply JB. So he wrote on the application J only B only to ensure there was no mistake.
His name tag came back Jonly Bonly
What did one German child say to another?
Guten Tag you're it
I posted a question about the brightest star in the night sky, but all I got were joke replies.
Should've added the [Sirius] tag.
My friend did some graffiti with me
He just tagged along.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently had s**... with a girl who I thought I was legal age
A wave of horror came over me when I noticed her toe tag said "15 years old"
What do millennial stoners play during recess?
Hash Tag.
I'm writing a musical about a rag-tag team of Breitbart columnists standing up to the mainstream media elites.
It's called Fake Newsies.
Air Hostess with a tag.
Air Hostess had name tag on her chest, naming her Mia.
Guy: Beautiful name.
Air hostess: Thanks.
Guy: Didn't you name the other one?
I'm going to paint graffiti...
Want to tag along?
Why did the kids get shot in the getto neighborhood?
Because they were playing tag with blue and red teams..
Russians woman's favorite tag line
He went to jared's
Did you see the tag line for Quentin Tarantino's Winnie the Pooh?
Do you see a sign that says 'dead Tigger storage'?
What did Mike Tyson say to the drug addicts who were playing tag in his front yard?
Quit mething around.
What d'you call a 'tag" really high up?
GIRAFFITI!
Three men, a Republican, a Brit and a Jamaican
all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however, unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Brit wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Jamaican looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Brit, "but one of them in there's a Republican, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the worst thing a German can say to someone with celiac disease?
Gluten tag.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my wife...
If she wanted to do something i**... and it involves beds tonight. I can't wait to see her face light up when she finds out we're ripping all the mattress tags off this evening.
A man got married and became one plus . But he got divorced soon after .
One plus tag line never settle
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Being on Twitter is like getting s**... and chasing after people.
It's all just a game of hash tag.
Going to the store to buy milk used to be a chore
Now that I have a baby, its like one of those red tag vacations where you hope your transportation breaks down and youre stranded on the resort.
How do you tell if something has gluten in a German grocery store??
The gluten tag.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... met Angus in a pub
Over their pints, Angus leaned in and said does ye know what I did last night, eh?
p**... had no idea, and Angus said I'm a very rich man. I robbed a shop full of expensive pictures!
p**... was impressed. He said to Angus wow, that's astonishing! When you sell 'em, give me some money!
Angus said yes, of course. But p**... thought for a bit, and he asked Angus how does ye know they were expensive?
Angus replied ah, well, they got price tags don't they? Cheapest one was €180,000, wasn't it? Picture of some house! 'Course they all were.
p**... thought for a minute, and then said Angus, ye didn't rob the estate agent did ye?
What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags it's tale, the other tags a whale.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was at a l**... store and they were advertising an old fashioned-looking nighty with the tag line "Just like mother used to wear"...
It's called a Freudian Slip.