Tackle Jokes
39 tackle jokes and hilarious tackle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tackle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Whether you’re a fan of football, rugby, or fishing, the best way to make everyone in the room laugh is to crack a joke about tackles! Discover why we all joke about tackles in football and rugby, and what quarterbacks and other players have to say about the topic.
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Funniest Tackle Short Jokes
Short tackle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tackle humour may include short sack jokes also.
- When the Saudi police tackled me after I stole something from the market… …I instantly realised my mistake when I shouted, "Unhand me!"
- The government say they're going to tackle gambling addiction. Bet you a tenner they don't.
- I'm not sure why TSA agents tackled me at the airport. All I did was say hi to my friend Jack.
- I got banned from playing soccer for 10 years for a tackle. To be fair it was a bit late. He was getting into his car at the time.
- I see Jamie Oliver tackled that burglar by tripping him up with a bowl of egg, milk and flour. Now the perp is complaining that Jamie battered him.
- My grandad walked into the room with his tackle out, smothered in boot polish. Bless him, he misheard when we told him to turn his clock back.
- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day... teach a man to fish and you create a market for bait and tackle.
- The last time I played tackle football without pads l broke three ribs and a collar bone. Fortunately, none of them were mine.
- Met my friend Jack in my flight today. I said, "Hi Jack!"
Out of nowhere the air marshal tackled me. - Buy a man a fish, and feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish... And he has to buy a fishing pole, tackle, fishing line, and acquire a fishing licence.
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Tackle One Liners
Which tackle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tackle? I can suggest the ones about attack and assault.
- What does an octopus take with it when it goes fishing? Ten tackles
- I went fishing with my new tackle and got plenty of bites. trout?
No, mosquitoes. - I just got tackled in a game of football by a bird. It was a fowl.
- How many cops does it take to tackle a 120 pound female protestor? All of them
- What did the 8th century Anglo-Saxon king say when his brother tackled him? Get Offa me
- Why do japanese women love to play football? To get Ten-Tackles.
- I saw a documentary on erections... It tackled some really hard subjects.
- What did the octopus need to win the football match? Ten tackles.
- What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators? Wrestle Crow.
- Why do footballers make good politicians? Because they tackle the real issues.
- The key to winning freeze tag? Sliding tackles.
- Why did the football player tackle the phone booth? To get his quarter back! Hahahahahha
- I saw a homemade sign for tackle and lures... It was bait
- What's the best angle to tackle a problem? The try-angle
- What is the consequence of a bad tackle in chicken football [soccer]? A fowl.
Fishing Tackle Jokes
Here is a list of funny fishing tackle jokes and even better fishing tackle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went fishing the other day After setting all my gear up, I realised I had left my tackle box at home. I found some liquorice in my pocket and thought I'd try it for my bait, I caught all sorts
Football Tackle Jokes
Here is a list of funny football tackle jokes and even better football tackle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How did the squid manage to join a football team? It has got a track record for pulling off some of the top ten tackles.
Fun-Filled Tackle Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about tackle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stalk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tackle pranks.
Gone Fishing.
This guy came home from work and said to his wife, "I need a vacation. I'm too stressed out. I think I'll go fishing for the weekend."
"Okay," she says. "I'll pack for you."
So she packs for him and he goes away for the weekend. When he comes back he says, "Wow, I feel a lot better now!"
"How did I pack?" the wife asks.
"You did fine, except you forgot my pajamas," he replies.
"No I didn't," she says. "I didn't have enough room in your bag so I put them in your tackle box."
My mum's favourite piece of advice to give me when I was growing up was, "Whenever life puts an obstacle in your way, the best way to deal with it is to tackle it head on".
I used to think she was wise but now I'm nursing a concussion and being sued for damages, since my neighbor parked in front of my driveway last week.
A game warden sees an old man going out fishing alone and asks if he can go along.
The old man relents and rows out to the middle of the lake. Then he opens his tackle box, pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and drops it into the lake. After it goes off the boat is surrounded with dead fish and the old guy starts scooping up the bodies. The warden is incensed and says 'That's i**... and a thousand dollar fine when we get to shore!' So the old guy pulls out another stick of dynamite, lights it and hands it to the warden saying..
'You want to just talk all day or are you going to start fishing?'
Donald Trump approaches the wall prototypes.
Donald Trump is approaching the wall prototypes when suddenly a secret service agent yells "Mickey Mouse!".
A man appears to have jumped across the boarder holding something suspicious.
The secret service agents tackle him and the situation is secure.
Someone then asks what the Mickey Mouse shouting was about.
The agent goes "I was startled, I meant to say Donald Duck!"
Two Drunks and a Dog
Two extremely drunk men were stumbling toward home after leaving the bar one night. As they staggered through the backstreets they noticed a dog sitting on his front porch giving his tackle a hearty tongue bath. One of the men turns to the other and says
"You know, I wish I could to do that."
To which the second replies
"I bet if you ask him nicely he very well might let you."
An offensive joke
A quarterback, a running back, a fullback, a wide receiver, a tight end, a left tackle, a left guard, a center, a right tackle, a right guard, a striker, an attacking midfielder, a left wing skater, a center, a right wing skater, a point guard, a shooting guard, a small forward and a designated hitter all walk into a bar
Football
The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. Can you tackle? asked the coach. Watch this, said the freshman, who proceeded to run s**... into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. Wow, said the coach. I'm impressed. Can you run? Of course I can run, said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. Great! enthused the coach. But can you pass a football? The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. Well, sir, he said, If I can s**... it, I can probably pass it.
A young man approaches a fisherman standing in the river...
He waves to the fisherman and says, "Wow, great pole you've got there!"
The fisherman smiles, gives a slight nod, and says, "thank you!"
\- "And man, that's some of the coolest tackle I've ever seen!"
Smile, nod, "thank you!"
"Some high-quality bait, too."
Big smile... "thank you!"
The young man peers down into the river... "you know, the fish don't really come through here this time of year..."
The fisherman: "Yeah, I know."
\- "Well, what are you fishing for?"
The fisherman shrugs, "Compliments."
A crook walks into a bait and tackle store and sees the cashier is blind.
She asks him for a 50 dollar fishing rod, and he walks over and shows it to her. Then she thanks him and sticks a 100 dollar rod into her cart.
But the blind man isn't s**..., and when she rings it up, he feels the rod and he says "that will be 100 dollars for the fishing rod."
the woman is so embarassed at being caught stealing she rips a loud one.
"and that will be $5.89 for the duck call and $3.29 for the musk scent"
A university has been accused of not having enough people of colour on their competitive speech recital team.
To tackle the problem they took a bunch of students and covered them in body paint.
They now claim they have achieved their dye varsity quoters.
We throw around the word "hero" so much nowadays....
What about all the other times this week when someone had to tackle a n**... guy in a waffle house at 3am?
how 30,000 somalians died in a match?
After a tackle the referee took out a yellow card, they thought it was a c**....
Ps: I translated it from my dialect it may sound weird or offensive .
