Tab Jokes
62 tab jokes and hilarious tab puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tab that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the world of tab jokes - the comical exchanges between bar patrons and bartenders over their pull tabs. Get a few laughs while learning more about this type of barstool humor.
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Funniest Tab Short Jokes
Short tab jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tab humour may include short click jokes also.
- I'm going to open my own bar and call it "Chrome" It will keep your tab open until you have no memory
- Your mind is like Chrome 13 open tabs, 3 frozen. And you don't know where the music is coming from
- A Greek, an Irishman and a portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab? The German.
- Right now my brain is like a web browser. I've got 21 tabs open. 5 of them have crashed, and I can't work out where the music is coming from.
- A joke for Europe A Greek, an Italian, and a Spaniard go into a bar and have an awesome time, ordering drinks till dawn. So who pays the tab?
A German. - A keyboard walks into a bar He orders a round of drinks fir everyone. The bartender asks him how he will be paying for the drinks. The keyboard says "just put it on my tab."
- Walmart Apparently running around Walmart with an alkaseltzer tab in my mouth yelling, "the COVID vaccine doesn't work" isn't funny?
- So a rhino walks into a bar... and several patrons pay their tabs and leave because they see the danger in this situation.
- So Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby and bill nye all walk into a bar... They all finish their drinks and Nye says to the lady behind the bar I'll cover the tab these two will give you their tips.
- I was taking a test today for school when the teacher told us that the test would close if we opened a new tab. Thank goodness I opened a new computer up instead.
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Tab One Liners
Which tab one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tab? I can suggest the ones about drinker and button.
- Why did the Chicken switch tabs? To get to the other site.
- What do PC Master Race people identify as politically? The Alt-Tab.
- I dropped 4 tabs of acid yesterday
>!So I picked them up!< - I googled your mom last night. I had to open two tabs.
- A Canadian walks into a bar has a drink, pays his tab, and leaves.
- Why does the U.N. keep close tabs on laundromats? They're watching for ethnic cleansing.
- What's a Jewish person's least favorite beverage? Tab.
- Who picked up the tab for the Last Supper? Jesus paid it all.
- Cute Crush: Let's go on a trip together Me: kk, that'll be $14 for the acid tab
- An amoeba walks into a bar. Bartender says, Pay the tab before you split.
- What's the MS Word tab alignment most often used by college students? Bar tab
- A Native dude asked me, "Do you know what my indian name is at the bar?" "Running Tab"
- Happy 3 week anniversary to the 26 browser tabs I have open.
- UnFuNy JoKe Is there a better feeling than closing 14 tabs after finishing a project??
- I tried clicking on the 'NEW' tab... It just said 'Nothing to see here'.
Fun-Filled Tab Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about tab you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean menu jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tab pranks.
A duck walks into a bar...
And orders a hundred bottles of scotch.
The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab."
A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?"
The duck says to the bartender, "Okay, put it on his bill."
An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Hobbit walk into a bar...
All three proceed to eat, drink and have a good time, slamming down pint after pint of ale until finally the pub was closing. The bartender asks them how he should split the tab as it was a pretty hefty sum.
"I got this," replies the Elf as he looks at the bill. "My two friends here are always a little short anyway."
A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
Confused, he asks the bartender "why do you have meat hanging from your ceiling?" The bartender says "I'm glad you asked, currently we have a challenge going on where if you can jump up and slap both pieces of meat with your hands I'll cover your tab for the whole rest of the night. However, if you attempt to slap the meat and miss, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks in the bar until we close". The bartender looks back at the customer and asks "So what do you say, would you like to give the challenge a shot?" The customer quickly responds with a "No". "Why not?" The bartender asks. The customer replies, "The stakes are too high".
A duck, a deer, a skunk and an elephant are sitting in a bar
The end of the night rolls around and the waitress asks who is going to pay the tab.
The duck says that he can't pay because he only has one bill.
The deer says that she had a buck on her last night, but won't have any doe until spring.
The skunk says he can't pay because he only has one scent.
Finally, the elephant says "It's okay boys, the highballs are on me!"
A QA engineer walks into a bar, and orders a beer.
Then he orders 0 beers.
Then he orders 999999999999 beers.
Then he orders an aardvark.
Then he orders nothing.
Then he orders -1 beers.
Then he orders NULL beers.
Then he orders asnwikfjsdf.
Then he orders a ">.
Finally, the QA engineer leaves without paying, comes back, and asks for the tab.
3 Jokes about bars:
1.
A duck walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my bill."
2.
A typewriter walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my tab."
3.
A skeleton walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Uh, and a mop."
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling.
When he asked the bartender about it, the bartender said, If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are ok the house for the night. But if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next 2 hours. Do you want to try?
The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
An Australian man and his kangaroo walk into a bar
An Australian man and his kangaroo walk into a bar, and spend the night drinking shot after shot. After a few hours, the kangaroo passes out and slumps to the floor. The man goes to pay his tab and starts to leave. The bartender shouts Hey! Are you just going to leave that lying there? The man turns back, glances at his drinking companion, and says to the bartender, That's not a lion. That's a kangaroo.
The Washington Capitals walk into a bar.
Everybody orders a drink. They all finish drinking and order another. The Bartender asks if they would like to start a tab. Ovechkin comes out and says, "No, thanks. We always stop at the second round."
A guy walks into a bar...
.... with a giraffe.
They sit down at the bar and start drinking beer after beer and shot after shot.
Finally, the giraffe passes out and falls to the floor. The guy pays the tab and is just about to leave when the bartender says: "Hey! You gonna leave that lyin' there?" - "Not a lion, a giraffe!"
I broke some letters off my keyboard last night
My mood just shifted, there was no escape. I honestly just lost control. I need to alt-er these episodes of mine, these repair bills are building up quite a tab.
A man and his Giraffe walk into a bar
So a man and a Giraffe walk into a bar, they stroll up to the bar and order a few drinks. Now after about an hour the Giraffe who has had far too much passes out, the man seeing this pays his tab and gets up to leave and the bar tender shouts: "Oi! You can't leave that lyin' there!" To which the man replys:
"That's not a Lion it's a Giraffe"
A man walks into the sleaziest bar in town...
"I've had a rough day," he says. "Give me 40 shots of whiskey."
"40 shots?!" the bartender responds. That'll probably kill you!"
The man stares him down and says, "Is that a problem??"
The bartender stares at him back and says, "Only if you're planning on running a tab."
I was gonna play Zelda via online emulator, but didn't wanna close the site I was on...
...so I clicked "open Link in New Tab".
A duck and a laptop go to a bar and, after a while, the bartender asks the duck if he'd like the drinks on his bill
The laptop scolds the bartender for making such an assumption and insists that the drinks be put on his tab
A gnome walks into a bar...
and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
17th century painter Peter Paul Rubens walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Bartender asks how are you going to pay for that?
Peter Paul Rubens says put it on my tab. I'm baroque.
A large pickle walks into a bar
A large pickle walks into a bar, sits down, looks at the bartender, and asks for his usual to be put on a tab. Having never seen the large pickle before, the bartender says "Who even are you? Tab priveleges are reserved only for celebrities, well-known people, or d**... that try to get out of paying." The large pickle responds, "In that case, I'm kind of a huge dill."
A keyboard walks into a bar...
"Start a new tab for me," said the keyboard.
"But, you already have one..." said the bartender.
A Chrome tab is just like a traumatic event
It hangs in the background, unnecessarily taking over your memory.
A woman, man and a midget walk into a bar....
The woman orders a glass of red wine and the man orders a beer. The midget orders a shot of whiskey, "Can you put it on my tab?" asks the midget. The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but it looks like you're a bit short."
A guy orders a beer. "That will be five bucks," says the bartender. The guy places his keyboard on the counter.
"Just put it on my tab."
A leopard abruptly leaves a bar
"Where are you going? You haven't paid your tab!" yells the bartender.
"I've gotta run; I've been spotted!"
How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day?
One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.
A Well Cezanne'd Joke
Two French painters walked into a bar because they're down on their luck and they heard that at this place in particular the drinks were cheap and the women were Toulouse. They were having a great time, probably too good. The painters were getting a bit rowdy, and the bartender handed them their tab and told them get out. The men reached into their pockets only to realize they had no Monet, so Degas up and left.
An alien enters a bar
An alien enters a bar and shouts the drinks are on me. He shouts out " everybody can drink whatever they want and as much as you want all night long" . So people start ordering bottles of champagne and whisky and beer all night. At the end of the night the drinks are sold out and the bartender says "that was an expensive tab OK that's $133,48,56 you owe me"
The alien then replies " No problem pal BTW have you got change of a zonk?"
An atom walks into a bar in Japan and opens up a tab
Bartender says, "Make sure you pay up before you split."
Two black guys walk into a bar...
The bartender looks around and says... what'll you two fine gentlemen have? And they paid their tab, and couldn't have been more courteous.
What do you call a tab of acid hidden in your phone?
The l**... card
*
Did you hear about the duck going to the bar?
He didn't have cash so he had to put the tab on his bill.
Why can't Zeno seem to pay his bar tab in full?
Answer: Because he kept giving half of what he owes.
Beer Money
Max & Arlene lived by a lake in Northern Minnesota. It was early winter, and the lake had frozen over.
Max asked Arlene if she would walk across the frozen lake to the general store to get him some beer. She asked him for some money but he told her, Nah, just put it on our tab.
So Arlene walked across, got the beer at the general store, then walked back home across the lake. When she got home and gave Max his beer, she asked him, Max, you always tell me not to run up the tab at the store. Why didn't you just give me some money?
Max replied, Well, I didn't want to send you out there with some money when I wasn't sure how thick the ice was yet.
A large group walks into a bar...
The first guy orders a shot of r**... and asks the bartender to open a tab for him. The next person also asks for a shot of r**... and asks the bartender to open a tab for her. The third person does the same. After the twentieth person in the row does the same thing, the bartender screams angrily, storms out of the bar, gets into his car, and immediately gets into an accident. A member of the group, confused, asks his friend what had just happened. He responds, "Well we had too many tabs open, and he ran out of r**..., so he tried to force quit and ended up crashing."
