Systems Thinking Jokes
35 systems thinking jokes and hilarious systems thinking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about systems thinking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Systems Thinking Short Jokes
Short systems thinking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The systems thinking humour may include short systems engineering jokes also.
- It's amazing how popular Instagram is in America. Didn't think they liked the metric system.
- It's not graverobbing! It's a system of mining grave yards to determine the validity of transactions. It's a new way of thinking of money! I call it crypt-o-currency.
- They say the male and female reproductive system is very similar But I think there's a vas deferens
- USA elected a billionaire that is appointing other billionaires to fix the system that made them billionaires I laughed so hard thinking about this on the dinner table
- "The 12 boys stranded in a flooded cave system in Thailand have started diving lessons in the latest step in efforts to bring them out alive." I think they've hired Naymar.
- "Social credit system , censorship of any info that does not fit their narrative , Demonization of people with wrong think " You know who I am talking about. Reddit
- Chris Brown got arrested for beating someone again.... You would think getting caught twice would teach him a lesson but now he is trying to beat the system too.
- Did you hear about the viruses who started their own in-cell movement? They think it's unfair that plants and animals have their own immune systems.
- I bought a mint condition vintage HiFi system My wife said it's a waste of money, but I think it's a sound investment.
- A farmer asks a physicist for a system to collect chicken eggs The physicist thinks for a while and says:
-I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens and in vacuum.
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Systems Thinking One Liners
Which systems thinking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with systems thinking? I can suggest the ones about system design and logical thinking.
- I think our solar system is highly underrated ... ... Seriously, just one star? Duh.
- Errors are red My screen is blue
I think I deleted
System 32 - Why do some people drink for health? They think it will booze their immune system.
- My nervous system is so narcissistic. It only thinks about itself.
Systems Thinking Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about systems thinking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mind thinking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make systems thinking pranks.
God must be an engineer.
Three engineering students are discussing what sort of God
must have designed the human body. The first says, 'God must be a mechanical engineer.
Look at all the joints."
The second says,"I think God must be an electrical engineer. The nervous system has thousands of electrical connections." The third says, "Actually, God is a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Engineers
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down. The mechanical engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The chemical engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas." The electrical engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The computer engineer said, "I think we should all get out and then get back in."
I think I cracked the overweight problem
# I think I cracked the overweight problem
Last week I weighed 150 pounds, I felt so miserable and was loosing all hope for my future. I couldn't think of a way to get over the shame. Then it struck me and I figured out the ultimate way to get it over with. I immediately did what I had to do, I ordered a new weighing scale from Amazon. I was waiting this entire week for it to arrive. It finally arrived today. I just weighed myself, it's 69 now. I'm so proud of myself and the metric system.
Three engineers were driving down the road.
An electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. (Shut up, just go with it). Suddenly their car sputters to a halt.
The electrical engineer says it has to be a problem with the electric system.
The chemical engineer thinks it's a problem in the fuel system.
Then they both look at the Windows engineer... He just says, "Perhaps we should all get out and back in again"
The local town drunk stumbles into the doctor's office
"Doc, I don't feel so good lately.." he says, "You gotta tell me what's wrong."
The doctor looks him over and asks, "Have you been drinking today?"
"No, Doc. I was feeling sick so I didn't drink like I usually do." he replies.
"Oh, I think I know what the problem is, George." says the doctor. "You have too much blood in your alcohol system!"
Some people joke about prison r**..., but I don't think it's funny.
In fact, there's nothing funny about the American p**... system.
Three engineers are sitting at a bar and the bartender asks "If God were an engineer what type would he be."
The first engineer says "He'd be a mechanical engineer. Think about all the bones in the human body and well they work together."
The second engineer says "Well, God was most likely an electrical engineer. Consider the human brain and the complexity of the nervous system."
The third engineer says "Obviously He was a civil engineer. Who else would run water and sewer through a recreational area."
3 guys were riding in a car; a hardware technician, a systems analyst and a programmer.
The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have failed and the car is accelerating out of control.
So, he pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation.
Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look. "
Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes."
Programmer: "Why don't we just get back in and see if it happens again?
Haven't seen this one here yet
**How to install a southern home security system**
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 15 men's work boots, and place them on your porch with a copy of *Guns & Ammo* magazine.
2. Place four of the biggest dog bowls you can find on the porch next to the boots and magazines.
3. Leave a note on the door that reads:
Bubba,
Me, Jimbo and Buck went to get more beer and ammo. Be back in a bit. Don't mess with the pitbulls, they got the mailman real bad yesterday. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, locked 'em all in the house, so you better wait outside. Be right back.
-c**...
So There's This German Driving Game...
...with all these servers for multiplayer. One server has this automatic cheat-detection system that bans players if it thinks they're hacking at all.
Well unfortunately, there's this one stretch of one particular freeway where the road is so bad it blasts drivers off into the sky. The cheat system detects this, thinks they're hacking, and bans them immediately.
This went on for a couple days until one of the admins said, "Okay guys. Vwe have to do something about zis autobahn problem."
Music nerd's joke.
Bach (a father of 20) was bragging to Vivaldi (a priest).
Bach: You know, I have 20 children.
Vivaldi: Yeah, I know.
Bach: I've written chorales, oratorios, concertos. I've codified the tonal system. I've invented a way of tuning harpsichords and organs so that they can play in a multitude of keys without having to be retuned between key changes.
Vivaldi: Yeah, I heard.
Well, Johann was going on and on about himself when, suddenly, he fell into a ditch.
Bach: O help me, Antonio, I've fallen into a ditch.
Vivaldi: Did you break anything?
Bach: I don't think so.
Vivaldi: Well then, if it's not Baroque, I'm sure you can Haendel it.
A mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.
The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.
The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, What do you think?
The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.
Three engineers are riding in a car.
One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.
The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.
"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time."
"Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two."
"Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget.
We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.
We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and...
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me.
But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We await your direction.
A police officer stopped a driver for speeding.
"Can I see your driving license?"
"I don’t have it, I had it removed because of point system."
"Can I see your license for the vehicle?"
"But it is not my car, I stole it."
"Stole it?"
"Right, let me think, I think I saw the permition before in the glove box when I put my gun in there."
"There is a gun in the car?"
"Yes sir, I put it right there, when I shot and killed the woman driving this car and then put the body back to the trunk."
"There is a corpse in a car?"
"Right, sir."
After all these he calls the police chief.
And soon the car gets surrounded by police.
The captain approaches the driver to handle the situation.
"Sir, can I see your qualification?"
"Of course, ultimately, there it is."
"In fact, it’s OK, and to whom does the car belong to?"
"It is mine, there is my license as well."
"uld you open the glove box, is there a gun inside?"
"Of course, take a look, there is nothing."
"Do you mind opening the trunk too? They told me that you put a body in there."
"No problem, take a look."
"Empty too! But I do not understand, the officer who stopped you told us that you said that you did not have a driving license, that you stole the car, that you had a gun in the glove box and that there was a dead body in the trunk."
"Oh right! I bet he told you that I was running and speeding!"
Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. "I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”
The next day, Mrs. Wilson receives a telephone call from AEC (Atlanta Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
“Am I speaking to Mrs. Wilson?”
“Yes. Speaking.”
AEC guy, “You’re a month overdue, you know!”
“How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman.
“Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the AEC guy.
“What are you saying? It’s in your files. HOW?”
“Yes. We have a system of finding out who’s overdue.”
“GOD! This is too much.”
“Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue.”
“I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow.”
That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.
“What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.
“Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at AEC, “It’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.”
“PAY you? And if I refuse?”
“Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.”
“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.
“I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."