The Best 46 Systems Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Systems jokes. There are some systems computer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these systems apparatus puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Systems Jokes and Puns

I'm making a fortune promoting home security systems

The pitch is easy. All I do is say "Good morning". At 3am whilst sitting on the end of their bed.

Alright, let's get out the "too soon" jokes about Paul Walker to get them out of our systems.

I'm just saying, the stare and drive obviously didn't work this time.

I like my women like I like my file systems.....

FAT & 32.

Systems joke, I like my women like I like my file systems.....

Funny things to say after loudly farting in a public toilet

I'll start with a couple I've heard:

"Systems check cleared - ready for drop..."

"Whups, I'm sorry, I need to get that fixed..."

Did you hear about the time all GPS systems became self-aware?

Things were taking unexpected turns.

I was told that tipping your server is normal in America

I was told that tipping your server is normal in America

But apparently this will get you fired as a systems administrator.

I hate Windows Embedded systems so much...

They make me WinCE

Systems joke, I hate Windows Embedded systems so much...

Why female sys-admins restart systems more often then men?

Because they love those new boots!

I'm sexually attracted to metal boxes with locking systems.

But don't worry. It's safe sex.

If there were such a thing as beavers that were small and live in people's circulatory systems, what would be their religion?


Why do men with prostate issues have issues stealing video game systems?

Because they have trouble taking a Wii.

You can explore systems exe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean systems java dad jokes. There are also systems puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I went to the Doctors today for a checkup

He told me that I had one of the best digestive systems he'd ever seen.

So today I'm celebrating superb bowel sunday.

What is it with Germans and old operating systems

I keep hearing them say "DOS is good"

I got a job installing security systems...

I find it pretty alarming

What's the easiest way to get a virus into ISIS computer systems?

By sending them executables.

Which of our organ systems have the lowest self esteem?

The nervous system

Systems joke, Which of our organ systems have the lowest self esteem?

How many unknown solar systems are there?

If we knew they wouldn't be unknown.

Why aren't there metro systems in the countryside?

There are already enough terrains.

Nervous systems are too reckless

They always do everything on impulse

What terrorist group hates modern broadcast systems?

The Teleban

I have an encyclopedic knowledge of civil waste disposal systems

I'm a real connisewer

While helping some freshmen check into their dorms at our state college I overheard a couple of new co-eds rate me as a six.

It really saddens me that our public school systems are only teaching kids to count to six.

What Ajit Pai and his Allergist wife have in common?

They all make livings on non-neutral systems.

Some friends and I were making some blond jokes, until my daughter arrived.

She said Daddy, I cant believe you. You know those are all stereo systems.

Met a guy once who rapped about nothing but Linux systems

His name was 50CentOS

[An open letter to Education systems everywhere]

Dear Board of Education,

So are we.

Did you hear about the viruses who started their own in-cell movement?

They think it's unfair that plants and animals have their own immune systems.

When the computers crash at work.

A wife asks her husband how his day at work went. It was awful, the man explains, pouring himself a stiff drink. All of our computer systems shut down today so we had to do everything manually.
That sounds awful, the wife consoles.
You're telling me, he replies after a sip, I had to keep shuffling the deck of cards for solitaire by hand.

Star ratings!

Maybe aliens haven't visited our solar system yet because we only have one star.

They probably prefer going to systems with a 4-5 star rating.

What do novice piano players have in common with embedded systems programmers?

They both write in C.

My friend had trouble getting retirement money after working his entire life as an engineer

He was working with sus pension systems

Here are the 10 best number systems.

1. Binary

2. Decimal

What do Climate Change, Over-Population, and Corrupt Inefficient Systems have in common?

They don't exist.

What do you call a socially awkward person who studies female reproductive systems

A shynecologist

What do you call someone that's really into drainage systems?

A Connoi-sewer

Someone once told that there's little difference between the male and female reproductive systems. But in reality...

There's a vas deferens.

I always felt bad for people with hiv/aids

They got weekend immune systems, they can't go outside on weekdays

Aliens haven't visited our solar system yet because we only have 1 star.

They'll want to visit solar systems with 4 or 5 stars

I used to sell home security systems.

It was super easy.

I went door to door and If the customer wasn't home, I'd just leave my brochure and business card on their dining room table.

[OC] My kids seem to magically only get sick on school days...and quite a lot of them.

It's like they've got weekend immune systems.

Little known fact #376: In Norway they have problems with herds of wild horses destroying the delicate eco systems around their narrow inlets.

They plan to start exporting Fjord Mustangs.

Why are most solar systems bad business partners?

Most are rated one star and even the best only have three.

Did you hear about the British chap who was just as adept with social niceties as with troubleshooting network systems and software?

He was an 'igh tea specialist.

Playgrounds in the UK have been fitted with advanced paedophile detection systems to help protect children

The company behind the technology has called it NonceSenseβ„’

So I did some research...

and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...

Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.

I'm making a killing selling home security systems...

All I do is say "Hello" at 3am, sitting on the end of their bed.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the systems system jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working systems fireman system piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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