Syphilis Jokes

Following is our collection of hepatitis puns and herpes one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Syphilis jokes for adults, dirty std jokes and clean whorrible dad gags for kids.

The Best Syphilis Puns

What is green and eats nuts?


What's yellow and eats nuts?


HAGS disease

"I am afraid you have HAGS disease," the doctor explained, "That is Herpes, Aids, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis, so we are immediately putting you on a pizza and pancake diet."

"Those foods will cure me?" he is asked.

"No," says the doctor, "But those foods we can slide under the door to the room we are locking you up in!"

A man proposes to his girlfriend. She has one condition.


Before I begin today's lecture

I'd like to relay an anecdote from my days as a student. My classmate and I both loved the same girl. In the end, she chose him and I was left with heartbreak. But my classmate was left with heart failure. Which brings me to today's subject: Syphilis and its complications.

A young soldier writes a letter to his father.

"Dad, I got syphilis"
A week later he receives a response:
"Son, I don't know much about those military decorations but you should wear it with pride"

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

I think the Tuskegee Airmen were incredibly brave...

...not only were they fighter pilots, they all had syphilis!

There's no "I" in team...

...but there's two in syphilis :/

Is syphilis forever?

Or is it kinda like... Clap on, Clap off?

What is the Russian word for "syphilis"?


Nurse comes out of doctor's office

Nurse comes out of doctor's office and says:
"Due to new GDPR rules I'm not allowed to call you in by names. The patient with syphilis, please come in."

What's worse than lobsters on your piano?


My girlfriend thinks she has syphilis..

I keep telling her it's all in her head.

What's big and red and eats rocks?

A big red rock eater.

What's microscopic, green and eats rocks?


edit for clarity

There is an abundance of lupus jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 15 funniest jokes and syphilis puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any aids witze you can hear about syphilis.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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