synagogues Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious synagogues puns

The Rabbi and the Devil

So, one day, the devil visits a synagogue while all the folk are deep in the middle of whatever it is they do at synagogues.

Once the smoke and clamour clears, the devil steps forth, slicing the air his pitchfork, flashing eyes of fire. At the sight of him, hooves and all, all the men and women in attendance run screaming for their lives out of the synagogue, trailing their children behind them.

As pleased as the devil is with his grand appearance, he can't help but twist his head to look at the rabbi, who's calmly putting his things away for the night with a tired sigh.

"You," the devil says, pointing his spindly finger at him, "rabbi. Do you not know who I am?"
The rabbi only sighs and continues to clear up the place.
The devil steps closer to the man, scalding the floor with each step. "And yet you do not seem to be afraid, why is that?" he hisses, stroking his beard.
The rabbi shrugs. "Why should I be? I've been married to your sister these past forty-three years."


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Credit/Source: video I watched on youtube a while ago. I've probably added/cut-out from the original, but that's the charm of Chinese whispers, no?

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How are synagogues like lemons?

They're full of acidic juice.

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Why don't churches, synagogues, mosques and temples have Wi-Fi?

Because religions don't like competing with an invisible power that actually works.

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A Jewish couple visit China

A Jewish couple is visiting China, and as they sit down to dinner they begin to wonder about whether there are any ancient synagogues to visit.

The waiter comes to take their order, and the couple asks if there are any Chinese jews, the waiter asks them to wait a minute and comes right back.

"We have apple Jews, orange Jews, grape Jews, but no Chinese Jews."

Cr

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Joke from the rabbi of one of the synagogues I went to.

A professional baseball player was very religious. So religious, in fact, that every time he stepped up to the plate he would cross himself.

During a particular game, he was facing a particularly impatient pitcher. The batter stepped out to cross himself, and the pitcher yelled out, "Hey! Why don't you just let God watch the game for once!?"

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Why are Jewish Synagogues Round?

... So nobody can hide in the corner once the collection comes around

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What month are religious synagogues most popular?

July.

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There are churches for christians, synagogues for jews, and

9/11 for muslims.

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What are the most funny Synagogues jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Synagogues? Well, here are the best Synagogues dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Synagogues pick up lines to share with friends.

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