The Best 15 Sydney Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sydney jokes. There are some sydney melbourne jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sydney destinations puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sydney Jokes and Puns

An American tourist is hit by a car in downtown Sydney, AU.

He is in a coma for 24 hours. When he wakes up in the hospital, he is very disoriented.

"Did I come here to die?" he asks.

The nurse replies, "No, love, you came here yestadie!"

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport...

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport. The officer asks, Do you have any felony convictions?

The Englishman replies, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was still a requirement.

China won bronze in gymnastics at the Sydney 2000 Olympics but were stripped of the medal after it was revealed that Dong Fangxiao was under the minimum age of 16

And they would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.

Sydney joke, China won bronze in gymnastics at the Sydney 2000 Olympics but were stripped of the medal after it w

A British man goes on holiday in Australia...

After getting off the plane in Sydney, the man waits to go through Australian customs.

"Do you have anything to declare?" asks the Australian customs officer.

"No" replies the British man.

"Do you have a criminal record?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that was still a requirement."

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

The guy behind the counter says, Male or female ?

The customer says, Female.

The counter guy asks, Black or white?

The customer says, White.

The counter guy asks, Christian or Muslim?

The customer says, What does religion have to do with it?

The counter guy says, The Muslim one blows itself up.


A Brit lands in Sydney, and is awaiting passport control

His turn comes and he steps to the agent.

The agent asks his name, and the Brit gives it.

The agent asks his occupation, and the Brit gives it.

The agent asks, Have you ever been convicted of a crime?"

The Brit responds, Right, so that's still a requirement?"

A british tourist arrives to the Sydney airport.

The australian duty officer checks the tourist's passport before letting him enter the country, then asks:

"Have you ever been sentenced?"

"Wait, is this still a requirement?"

Sydney joke, A british tourist arrives to the Sydney airport.

What do you call a man from Sydney in a suit in the middle of the desert?

A lostralian.

What was Sydney Poitier's favorite soda?

"MISTER PIBB"

An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex-girlfriend standing on the railings ...

An Australian man is walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge when he sees his ex\-girlfriend standing on the railings, about to commit suicide. He apporaches her and asks:
\- Hey Sheila, what's the matter?
Tears in here eyes, she says:
\- I'm pregnant Bruce, and it's your baby!
To which Bruce replies:
\- Woah Sheila, not only are you brilliant in bed \- you're also a great sport!

A boy is talking to his 100 year-old grandfather...

The grandfather says, "You know, when I was not so much older than you are now, I lived in Sydney, Australia. In fact, I earned a bit of spare change helping on the construction of the ol' Harbour Bridge."

The boy says, "Wow! That sounds fascinating! Was it exciting?"

The grandfather, shaking his head, says, "It was just riveting work."

You can explore sydney nsw reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sydney glasgow dad jokes. There are also sydney puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Paddies vs. Aussies

So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle." At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads." "Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men. "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other.

TIL if you currently live in Sydney, Australia. You aren't actually allowed to be buried at Sydney's largest cemetery.

Apparently it's illegal to bury people alive.

Important Announcement to the members of the Flat Earth Society

Annual Global Conference will be held this year 12th of May 2017 in Sydney (down under)

An aspiring actor turned thief has broken into Sydney Opera House.

Sources say he stole the spotlight.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sydney connecticut jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sydney western piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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