The Best 9 Swung Jokes

Following is our collection of Swung jokes which are very funny. There are some swung leapt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these swung halts puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Swung Jokes and Puns

Two prostitutes were chatting on the corner. One says to the other, "You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

She says, "No, but I've been swung around by the tits a couple times."

New to Baseball

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.

"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"

"Really? How'd you do that?"

"I dropped the ball."

A man is driving his car when suddenly the door of a parked car is swung open in front of him.

He proceeds to smash into the door of the car, ripping it off. He stops to see another man, in a very expensive suit, jump out of the car and scream at him "you just ripped the door off my lovely Porsche!".

The first man says "You are so materialistic...you didn't even notice that you left arm was ripped off in the accident".

The second man looks down for a second, then screams "my Rolex!"

My girlfriend was really hurt and upset when I told her I swung both ways.

She couldn't block both punches.

A priest and a minister were golfing...

...when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Then the priest takes a small bottle out of his pocket and pours the contents onto the rabbit. Immediately the rabbit wakes up and hops away.

The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!"

And the priest says, "That wasn't holy water... it was hare restorer."

Credit to my priest told this joke this morning.


My wife was in the bathroom

My wife was in the bathroom for hours getting ready to go out when finally the door swung open and she said, "Honestly, do I look fat in this".
I replied, "Yes love, but to be fair, it's only a small bathroom"

A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle

The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"

And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."

I met a bisexual swing the other day

It swung both ways.

How Tarzan's famous yell was invented.

Tarzan was swing through the jungle one day when he spotted Jane.
He hollered, "Jane! Grab vine!"
And he swung down to swoop her up.
"AHHHHHEEEEAHHHHEAHHHHH!!!!" "JANE GRAB WRONG VINE!!!!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the swung toolbox jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working swung fairway piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes