Swordsman Jokes
8 swordsman jokes and hilarious swordsman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about swordsman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uplifting Swordsman Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What is a good swordsman joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The older man and his problems
A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform s**.... He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"
The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more s**... and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year."
The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves, and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised.
His wife turns over and asks: "What did you say '123' for?"
A cut above the rest
Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".
Three guys are competing to see who is the best swordsman in the world.
The first guy throws an orange into the air and chops it into 10 pieces before it hits the ground.
The second guy throws a grape in the air and chops it into 20 pieces before it hits the ground.
The last guy sees a fruit fly and takes a massive swipe at him. The fly doesn't even budge and flies away.
The other two start laughing and declare him the loser
"Ah he says but that fly will never be a father"
Two martial artists...
...are arguing over who would win a fight between a skilled swordsman carrying a broadsword and a master wielder of an épée. They agree that the only way to settle the argument is actually to fight one another, each using one of the two weapons. An epic battle ensues and then, the two swordsmen feinted.
3 people are fighting
An American,British, And Chinese are fighting over who is the best swordsman. They say whoever can slice that fly on half wins.
The American slices in half with ease.
The British does 2 slices, and it's in 4 pieces.
The Chinese does one swipe. The American and the British are like, what is that? It's still flying.
The Chinese responds, it's s**... life is over.
The swordsman thought he won his fight but in fact
His opponent feinted
What did they say about the Swordsman's outfit at the Met Gala?
That is was very Avant En Garde.
What does a Scottish swordsman call his p**...?
Machete.
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