Switzerland Jokes

What are some Switzerland jokes?

What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland?

Well the flag's a big plus.

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

There are many advantages of visiting Switzerland

I mean, the flag itself is a big plus.

An American walks into a swiss bank with two large bags

He walks up to a teller and says quietly "I have 2 million dollars in cash that I need to deposit into a swiss bank account now"

The teller replies "Sir, there's no need to whisper, poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."

A joke from WWII

A German soldier is talking to a Swiss soldier:

"How many soldiers could Switzerland mobilize if we were to invade?"

"Half a million within two days."

"And if we invade with a million troops?"

"We shoot twice and go home."

A German and a Swiss are arguing about who's country is better...

The German, clearly annoyed, asks the Swiss
"So what's so great about Switzerland?" The Swiss shrugs, simply saying.
"Well, the flag is a big plus."

I'm thinking of moving to Switzerland

No particular reason, but the flag's a big plus

My friends asked me what I liked about Switzerland

Well the flags a big plus.

What are some good things about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus...

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

I Don't Know Why I Like Switzerland So Much

But the flag is a big plus

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

What's good about Switzerland?

Not much, but the flag is a big plus.

What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia?

In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.

I don't have a lot of great things to say about Switzerland

But their flag is a huge plus

What are some of the perks of living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag's a big plus.

Clean Joke...

What's great about living in Switzerland?




The flag is a big plus

"Father, may I ask a favor?"

A distinguished young woman on flight from Switzerland asked the priest sitting beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?" the priest replied.

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" the woman asked.

"I would love to help you, but I must warn you: I will not lie!" The priest told her.

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she said.

When they got to Customs, the young woman let the priest go ahead of her.

The Customs official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare," said the priest.

The officials thought this answer a bit strange, so he asked, "And what to you have to declare from your waist to the floor, Father?"

"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused," answered the priest.

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

Beats me, but the flag's a big plus.

What's the greatest thing about Switzerland?

Not sure, but the flag's a big plus.

What's so good about Switzerland?

I don't know but the flag is a huge plus.

I thought the wife was joking...

...when she said she wanted to go to Switzerland for a Monkees concert.

Then I saw her face...now I'm in Geneva

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Well, there's the flag. That's a big plus.

The German tax evader in Switzerland

A German wants to bring his untaxed savings to a number account in Switzerland.

He sneaks into the bank, looks around and whispers to the bank assistant:
"Psst! I've got 2 million euros in my suitcase!"

The bank assistant replies in a normal voice:
"Why do you try to be so unsuspicious? Poverty is not a shame in Switzerland."

I cannot tell a lie.

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favour?"

"Of course my child, What can I do for you?"

"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"

"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I cannot lie."

"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the "hair remover".

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son", he replied.

Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"

The priest replied, "I have there a marvellous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used."

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

I ask my Swiss friend what he thought about Switzerland.

He replied, "Well the flag's a big plus."

So I asked my friend what its like to live in Switzerland..

He said It's pretty cold but the flag is a huge plus

So I asked this swiss dude to tell me something good about living in Switzerland.

"Well" he said "the flag is a big plus!"

Vacationing in Switzerland

"So did you enjoy the beautiful scenery?"

"I couldn't really see much because of the mountains."

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I'm not sure, but their flag is a huge plus.

I was trying to think of all the benefits of moving to Switzerland...

I can definitely say that the flag is a big plus

I'm making a list of reasons to move to Switzerland

The flag is a big plus

So the other day my friend asked me if living in Switzerland had any benefits...

I responded: "Well, the flag's a big plus."^I'll^see^myself^out.

Can you think of anything good about Switzerland?

Well the flag's a plus.

I really don't know what's so good about Switzerland

But their national flag is a big plus.

Is there any upside to living in Switzerland??

The flag is a big plus.

I'm thinking about moving to Switzerland...

For a couple of reasons, but their flag is a big plus.

A foreigner goes to a bank in Switzerland...

The teller asks the foreigner: "Would you like to make a deposit?"

The foreign man replies: "Yes I would."

The teller: "How much would you like to deposit?"

The man leans in and whispers: "Three million dollars..."

The teller: "Oh you can speak up. Being poor is no reason to be ashamed in Switzerland."

What's good about Switzerland?

For starters, their flag is a big plus.

Why is Switzerland so great?

Well, the flag is a big plus

I don't know much about Switzerland...

...but I hear that their flag is a big plus.

what is the best thing about switzerland?

I have no idea either but the flag is a big plus

There aren't a lot of advantages to people who live in Switzerland.

However, the flag is a big plus.

INTERVIEWER: Roger Federer, why do you like Switzerland so much?

RODGER FEDERER: Well the flag is a big plus.

Why do dyslexic gay men keep going to Switzerland?

To see the large hardon collider

So I'm weighing the pros and cons for moving to Switzerland...

The flag is a big plus...

Credit to my 13yr old for this one too!

My second favorite joke that came to me in a dream.

Woke up thinking I had told this one to all of my friends and they thought it was truly dumb. I told it to them IRL anyway:

Everybody else went back to the hostel, so I ended up walking around Switzerland by myself at one in the morning. I'm passing this bar when I hear people cheering. I could use a drink so I pop in, and I find all of the chairs pushed aside, and there's a guy in the middle of the floor juggling big slabs of beef. Right? So I grab a beer and sit down to watch, and it's actually, just, mesmerizing. The meat is raw, so it's sort of rippling through the air, fascinating to watch. I heard the guy next to me speak English, so I lean over and I ask him if this is primarily a Swiss sport or what. He says, "Yeah, it's hard to get people interested in sirloin juggling. You're not likely to make any money or even make a name for yourself, and yet the steaks are so high."

I was asked why Switzerland was one of my favourite countries to visit.

"Well, their flag's a big plus!"

What's your favorite thing about Switzerland?

Well, the flags a big plus.

Switzerland is such a cool place.

I honestly don't know much about the country itself, but the flag is a plus.

An american, a french, an arab and a swiss are on a fly...

Suddenly, the pilot says "we're too heavy, all the passenger have to drop something".

The american take billions of dollars and he says : "We got enough of this, i can drop freely"

Then the french drop cheese and says : ""We got enough of this"

The arab drop gallon of oil and says : "We got too much of this"

and the swiss was embarassed, he thought a lot, then he took the french guy and drop him through the windows and say : "We got enough of them"

It's a swiss joke, in switzerland, we have a lot of french guys that come to work and some extremist will say "they steal our jobs" :-)

Switzerland has good food and beautiful landscapes

On top of that their flag is a big plus

What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy?

When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, "Merci!".

Switzerland is a pretty sweet country...

and their flag's a big plus.

I'm considering migrating to Switzerland

For one, their flag is a huge plus

What is one of the best things about living in Switzerland

The national flag is definitely a big plus.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

It's hard to pick one, but the flag is a big plus.

Switzerland declares war on China.

The Chinese President is informed by one of his aides that Switzerland has declared war on them. The president calmly asks:
"What's the population of Switzerland?", the aide replies: "8 million, sir", and so the president says: "Alright, which hotel will they be staying at?".

Living in Switzerland sucks

but the flag is a big plus.

Only two countries have square flags

One is Vatican City, the other is Switzerland.

No wonder Swiss cheese is holy.

During WW1 Switzerland had 250 000 soldiers

The German Kaiser asked the Swiss ambassador in Berlin: "What would Switzerland do if I invaded with 500 000 soldiers?"

The ambassador replied: "Shoot twice and go home."

Switzerland on Austrians: Why is the Austrian flag 'red-white-red'?

So that they can't raise it upside-down

I found a place where the recycling rate is 52%


I'm rooting for Switzerland in the World Cup.

I don't know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.

My friend says Switzerland is the best country...

I dunno about that but their flag is a big plus.

How to make Switzerland jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Switzerland to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Switzerland? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Switzerland pick up lines to share with friends.

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