switzerland Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious switzerland puns

What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland?

Well the flag's a big plus.

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Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

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What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

Well, The flag is a big plus.

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There are many advantages of visiting Switzerland

I mean, the flag itself is a big plus.

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An American walks into a swiss bank with two large bags

He walks up to a teller and says quietly "I have 2 million dollars in cash that I need to deposit into a swiss bank account now"

The teller replies "Sir, there's no need to whisper, poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."

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What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus

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A joke from WWII

A German soldier is talking to a Swiss soldier:

"How many soldiers could Switzerland mobilize if we were to invade?"

"Half a million within two days."

"And if we invade with a million troops?"

"We shoot twice and go home."

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What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

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A German and a Swiss are arguing about who's country is better...

The German, clearly annoyed, asks the Swiss
"So what's so great about Switzerland?" The Swiss shrugs, simply saying.
"Well, the flag is a big plus."

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I'm thinking of moving to Switzerland

No particular reason, but the flag's a big plus

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My friends asked me what I liked about Switzerland

Well the flags a big plus.

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What are some good things about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus...

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Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

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I Don't Know Why I Like Switzerland So Much

But the flag is a big plus

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Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

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What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

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What's good about Switzerland?

Not much, but the flag is a big plus.

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What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia?

In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.

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I don't have a lot of great things to say about Switzerland

But their flag is a huge plus

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What are some of the perks of living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag's a big plus.

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Clean Joke...

What's great about living in Switzerland?


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.......


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The flag is a big plus

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What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I'm not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

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"Father, may I ask a favor?"

A distinguished young woman on flight from Switzerland asked the priest sitting beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?" the priest replied.

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" the woman asked.

"I would love to help you, but I must warn you: I will not lie!" The priest told her.

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she said.

When they got to Customs, the young woman let the priest go ahead of her.

The Customs official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare," said the priest.

The officials thought this answer a bit strange, so he asked, "And what to you have to declare from your waist to the floor, Father?"

"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused," answered the priest.

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

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I was riding my motorcycle down a serpentine in Switzerland

When I entered a small forest in the valley a deer showed up in the middle of the road, and in spite of all of my maneuvering I crashed in to it and flew into a ditch going along the road and passed out. When I woke up and climbed up back to the road i saw a beautiful old cabriolet with a hot brunette sitting in it in a blouse. According to the size of her tits, I'm probably in Paradise I thought.

- Are you alright? It looks like you have a couple of bad scratches. I can get you to my place so I can clean and bandage them up.

- Oh thanks, I'm alright. And my wife will probably be against.

- I also have very good painkillers, I think you might want to have some.

After a few seconds of hesitating, I jumped into her car saying to myself my wife definitely will not like this and we took of. When we've got to her place, and she finished the bandaging, I immediately stood up and headed to the exit

- I'm very thankful, but I should leave now, otherwise my wife will kill me

- Don't be sow silly she said, you should stay for a little longer

When I turned around to say my finale goodbye, she was already half naked, exposing probably the best tits in the world !!!

- I would have liked to, but my wife will definitely kill me !

- What is wrong with you ? I mean, where is your wife right now so you are so scared of her ?!?

- I don't know, probably still in that ditch with my motorcycle

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What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

Beats me, but the flag's a big plus.

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What do I love about living in Switzerland?

The flag is a big plus.

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What's the greatest thing about Switzerland?

Not sure, but the flag's a big plus.

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What's so good about Switzerland?

I don't know but the flag is a huge plus.

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I thought the wife was joking...

...when she said she wanted to go to Switzerland for a Monkees concert.

Then I saw her face...now I'm in Geneva

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I cannot tell a lie.

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favour?"

"Of course my child, What can I do for you?"

"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"

"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I cannot lie."

"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the "hair remover".

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son", he replied.

Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"

The priest replied, "I have there a marvellous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used."

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

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The German tax evader in Switzerland

A German wants to bring his untaxed savings to a number account in Switzerland.

He sneaks into the bank, looks around and whispers to the bank assistant:
"Psst! I've got 2 million euros in my suitcase!"

The bank assistant replies in a normal voice:
"Why do you try to be so unsuspicious? Poverty is not a shame in Switzerland."

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I ask my Swiss friend what he thought about Switzerland.

He replied, "Well the flag's a big plus."

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So I asked this swiss dude to tell me something good about living in Switzerland.

"Well" he said "the flag is a big plus!"

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So I asked my friend what its like to live in Switzerland..

He said It's pretty cold but the flag is a huge plus

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What are the most funny Switzerland jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Switzerland? Well, here are the best Switzerland dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Switzerland pick up lines to share with friends.

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