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Switch Jokes

159 switch jokes and hilarious switch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about switch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover various types of switch jokes ranging from SNL switch jokes to Nintendo switch jokes and light switch jokes. Find out what makes a good transition joke and why humor is one of the best ways to make a smooth transition when taking a turn. Plus, learn the fun way to use color switchers to get the attention of your audience.

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Funniest Switch Short Jokes

Short switch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The switch humour may include short swap jokes also.

  1. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.
  2. I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching To reverse and leaving the scene
  3. Cop pulls over bad driver Cop- sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes?
    Guy- sorry officer, I'm drunk af
    Cop-that's not a valid reason to let your girlfriend drive the car
  4. This morning I came early to my office And, I switched places of M's and N's on as many keyboard as I could.
    Some people would say I am a monster but others would say nomster.
  5. If France and Italy go to war, who would win? None of them, France would surrender and Italy would switch sides.
  6. I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a screaming baby. Apparently that's not allowed if the baby is yours.
  7. How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Who knows? They're all too busy playing with the switch.
  8. Did you know they tested the mars rover against animal attacks? They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.
  9. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was originally intended to be for Wii U But mid-way through development they made the switch.
  10. I switched all the label on my wife spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet.... but the thyme is cumin.

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Switch One Liners

Which switch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with switch? I can suggest the ones about transition and changer.

  1. When a bmw owner learns to drive... What kind of car do they switch to?
  2. Why do italians love soccer? Because halfway through they get to switch sides
  3. Why won't Americans switch to a dollar coin? They're afraid of change.
  4. Don't you hate it when you get an Amber Alert and you have to switch cars?
  5. Why won't the U.S. switch to the metric system? There would be mass confusion
  6. I decided to switch to a new barber My current barber just isn't cutting it.
  7. I just saved 15% or more on my Calculus test... by switching to radians.
  8. I tried to get my mom to switch from AMD to Intel... ...but I couldn't Celeron it.
  9. Why do Hanzo players have such high electric bills? They never switch off.
  10. Why didn't USA switch from pounds to grams? Because of mass outrage.
  11. What happens when old Nintendo consoles become obsolete? People Switch.
  12. Why did the Chicken switch tabs? To get to the other site.
  13. What did Jesus say when he switched from Intel to AMD? Do not mourn me for I have Ryzen.
  14. An unfunny joke. What do you get when you switch the setup and punch line?
  15. I lost 80 pounds last week I simply switched from imperial to metric

Light Switch Jokes

Here is a list of funny light switch jokes and even better light switch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I bought one of those "Smart" light switches, but it was too clever for me. So I replaced it with a dimmer switch.
  • My dad replaced the light switch without turning off the power first Shocking.
  • Few Saturdays I switch off the light and stay the whole night in darkness So that the neighbors might think that I've an active social life...
  • I threw my sandal at the light switch to turn it off, but I missed.. It was a complete flip - flop
  • Wanna hear a dark joke? So this morning I couldn't find the light switch...
  • What did Robert Palmer say to the light when he flipped the wrong switch? I didn't mean to turn you on.
  • What did the light switch say to his relationship therapist? Currently, we have an on-off off relationship, and I'm just not sure that spark is still there
  • Gender is like a light switch. It is either on or off. I can be in between but it doesn't really work that way.
  • I changed all my light switches to carbon fiber ones They make the rooms lighter
  • I Hate Trying to Figure Out Which Light Switch Goes to Which Room It's a process of illumination.

Nintendo Switch Jokes

Here is a list of funny nintendo switch jokes and even better nintendo switch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife left me because I bought the new Nintendo, but I'm not even upset... ...it was time for a Switch.
  • So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console. Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.
  • Nintendo was going to convert a car factory to manufacture their new console. But the factory owner didn't want to make the switch.
  • Why does the Nintendo switch come with a dock? Because of all the ports
    (Told to me by my wife)
  • The Nintendo DS' cheaper version was the DS Lite. A cheaper Nintendo Switch would be The Nintendo Lite-Switch
  • I used to have 100 gaming consoles, until somebody stole my Nintendo Switch Now I have 99 consoles, but a Switch ain't one.
  • When Nintendo come out with a new version of the switch will the current one become... The old switcheroo!
  • What do you call a transgender Japanese person? A Nintendo switch.
  • My wife bought me a Nintendo switch for Christmas. In a few years I'll have enough parts to build a whole console.
  • What will happen if someone robs a Nintendo Switch factory? WIIU WIIU WIIU WIIU

Color Switch Jokes

Here is a list of funny color switch jokes and even better color switch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I think my Christmas lights were made down south The switch says 'C' for colored and 'W' for white.

Network Switch Jokes

Here is a list of funny network switch jokes and even better network switch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a seal say about network switches? ARP ARP ARP
Switch joke, What does a seal say about network switches?

Unearthly Funniest Switch Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about switch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shutdown jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make switch pranks.

What's green and goes red at a flick of a switch.

Kermit in a blender.

I'm switching all of my clocks to a 24-hour format...

...making it much easier to wait til 5 o'clock to start drinking

Sometimes I just like to switch off

I think that's why I lost my job in the Intensive Care Unit

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

h**... asked his portrait

"What's going to happen to me when the war is over?" h**... asked
"We're going to switch places" replied the portrait.
"How so?"
"They're going to take me down and hang you up."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

An old woman is upset at her husband's f**... . . .

"You have him in a blue suit, and I wanted him in a brown suit," she cried.
The mortician says, "We'll take care of it ma'am," and yells to the back, "Ed, switch the heads on two and four!"

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

Too many persuasive esses.

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL

and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter.
(Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)

I hear Adrian Peterson is getting into baseball...

Apparently he's a great switch hitter.

So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating...

...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.

FAIR EXCHANGE

Two couples go on vacation together. After a week, they are thoroughly bored.
The men decide that maybe life will take on new meaning if they change partners. They all agree that it's an experiment worth trying.
The morning after the switch, one of the husbands says, ''I'm glad we tried this. It was exhilarating. Come on, let's go in the other room and see how the girls got on.''

The New York Yankees Officially Sign Adrian Peterson

They needed a good switch hitter.

I just moved in to a new flat with two girls...

I just moved in to a new flat with two girls, it's been a bit of a nightmare to be honest. The first one has really bad OCD, whenever she goes in to a room she has to turn the light switch on and off 17 times. That's nothing compared to the other one, she's got epilepsy

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the m**... to d**...?

A s**... revolution.

Surgeon's joke.

There used to be a rule that in order to get into anesthesia, applicants had to have an IQ greater than their body temp. For a while they couldn't get any new anesthesia trainees because nobody would pass.
Then they decided to switch from farenheit to celsius, and now there's a lot of them.

Oman and Yemen should switch names

because if you find out you're gonna live in Oman, you go "yeah man!!"
but if you find out you're gonna live in Yemen, you go "oh man..."
Im so sorry

I accidentally muted the command switch on my driverless car...

...well, it goes without saying.

A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.

His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded
"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"

Why did Kesha switch "$" back to an "s"?

Because she no longer has a dollar to her name.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why are bees the superior species?

They have a built in s**... switch.

Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

What did the depressed light switch say?

I can't go on.

What happened to all the pokemon GO jokes?

I guess people have made the "switch" to another fad.

Why did italy cross the road?

To switch sides

What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common?

They both have problems finding x.

I switched my kids to almond milk.

Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them "Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

You ever heard about the t**... light bulb?

It just needed a switch

How do you trigger a switch?

Flip it off.

We should switch to the hexadecimal number system already.

And I have a good reasons why.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What is 10 blocks long and never had s**...?

The line for the Nintendo Switch

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How many Sony and Microsoft fanboys does it take to turn on a lightbulb?

I don't know. They won't go near the Switch.

I like to switch things up in bed

Now I'm sleeping on the couch. Good thinking from Nintendo though. I can play here too.

It was very difficult to switch off my wife's life support system.

You try fighting off 2 nurses, a doctor and my sons.

I was playing Arms on my Nintendo Switch and my teacher told me to put it away.

"But I have the right to bear Arms!"

I switched from eating pheasant to venison recently....

absolute game changer

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How do you end two deaf persons' arguing?

Switch off the light.

One man proposed that Geico switch their mascot to a kitten.

"Now, with only 15 minutes, you can save 15 purr-cent on cat insurance"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

In WW2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors

If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British
If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German
If they retreat, they're French
If they switch to your side, they're Italian
If they apologize, they're Canadian
If nothing happens for a few minutes then suddenly your camp is leveled to the ground, they're American

Request - can someone explain this joke?

> In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, 'Cut it out.'

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What did the XBox One say to the PS4?

My sales s**... last year, can we Switch?

Did you hear that the new Nintendo Switch controllers were a scam?

Turns out that they were a joy con.

After a Year of use I can say without a doubt that the Nintendo Switch is the perfect console for Me

The Nintendo Sub was too under powered and the Nintendo Dom is more than I can handle.......

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.

Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."

I was called in to fix someone's computer

I took a look round the back and I said Oh, the self-awareness switch is on.
The man said That's funny, it was off last time I checked.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

From my job tonight, doing phone surveys: "How would you describe your s**... orientation?"

"Horizontal -- but sometimes we like to switch it up."

Why wont America ever switch to using coins like in the EU?

Because conservatives don't like change.

Dad on Deathbed

[Deathbed]
Dad: Don't put me in the wrong burial plot
Son: Dad stop it, I'm never turning this life support off!
Dad: because that would be...a grave mistake lol
Son: So is it this switch here or
(cr

People are outside the White House protesting, screaming IMPEACH IMPEACH IMPEACH!

Trump grabs his Switch, runs outside and yells I'M BOWSER, I'M BOWSER!

I taught my young daugther to switch out the discs in my PS4 for me.

It was a real game changer.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Fingers turn me on

It's not easy being a light switch

Why did the train switch tracks?

Because of it's loco-motives

Waiting at the student drop off for school dismissal and the teacher asked who my child was.

Time to switch schools.

How do you turn on a switch?

You finger it

If the US would switch from inches to meters

We'd have a lengthy discussion

I tried to switch from instant coffee to tea...

But the time difference is steep.

So my friend asked me for advice on things he could do to turn on his girlfriend.

I replied make sure you replace her batteries, and flip the switch to the left.

I broke up with my video game console, now it's my ex-box

Nothing personal, it was just time for a switch

A Good Mother

A good mom will always let her child lick the cookie dough after she's finished mixing it.
The best mom will switch the mixer off first.

(This was a joke translated from Russian that my mom always told me. She was a pretty good mom ;( )

Switch joke, A Good Mother

jokes about switch