Swing Jokes
146 swing jokes and hilarious swing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about swing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out these swing jokes that will have you in stitches! Whether you're a fan of the golf swing, mood swing, playground swing, porch swing, or Sally Swing, these jokes will leave you laughing and coming back for more. Read on to find out why a swing set, fore, fairway, and pendulum all feature in these hilarious jokes!
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Funniest Swing Short Jokes
Short swing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The swing humour may include short spin jokes also.
- To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza. I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
- I got in trouble at work for suggesting Saloon Doors on the Gender Neutral Bathroom I just wanted to show my support for swinging both ways
- A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He picks it up by the tail and starts swinging it around his head What are you doing?! shouts the barman.
Just having a look around - If your life is awful, get a rope and a stool ...and find the next tree. Throw the rope over a branch and attach the stool to the rope.
Now you've got a swing. - Just monkeying around An orangutan walks over to an another orangutan and says 'Yo, I'm the best at climbing and swinging!'
His friend looks at him and says 'that's a gibbon.' - A polar bear was shifted to antarctic and it started to have mood swings turns out, the bear was BIPOLAR.
- I was at the playground and fell off the swings. A nearby kid instead of helping asked, "What season is it? Fall?"
- I got in a fight with a guy at the park because he was hogging the playground equipment. He took a swing.
- Why did the monkey and Jane fight over Tarzan? Because they heard that he swings both ways.
- What would you call if spiderman starts jumping around buildings instead of swinging using his spider webs? Peter Parkour
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Swing One Liners
Which swing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with swing? I can suggest the ones about slide and wheel.
- I hate my mood swings. #They're great!
- Did you know that helen keller had a swing set in her back yard? Neither did she.
- How do you stop kids swinging on the clothes line? With a shovel
- What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.
- What's sweet and crumbly and swings through the jungle? A meringue-atan
- What do you call a Minotaur in a playground? A swing and a myth.
- What type of bear is bisexual and experiences mood swings? Bi-polar.
- Why lisa fell out of the swing?
- My band is called Bipolar We play mood swing...
- What is White, Fluffy and swings through a cake shop? A Merangue-utang :-D
- Do you know why Spiderman is bisexual? Because he swings both ways.
- Why did the girl fall off the swing? ...she didn't have any arms.
- What's yellow and swings from cake to cake? Tarzipan
- What did the bored married man want ? Swing and a Miss
- Knock knock Why did sally fall off the swing?
Because I threw a fridge at her
Golf Swing Jokes
Here is a list of funny golf swing jokes and even better golf swing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
- Are you bad at golf? Swing by and join the club.
- What's a golf club's favorite type of music? Swing!
Sally Swing Jokes
Here is a list of funny sally swing jokes and even better sally swing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms
knock knock
whos there?
not sally - In honor of my Cake Day, I offer a joke I heard from an 8 year old. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any hands.
Knock Knock
— Who's there?
Not Sally - Why couldnt Sally swing? She had no arms
Why did Billy drop his icecream?
He got hit by a bus - why did sally fall off the swings she pooped herself
Playground Swing Jokes
Here is a list of funny playground swing jokes and even better playground swing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was near the local playground, and I tried flirting with the cute single mother. It was a swing and a Miss.
- Why did Roy Moore hang out at the playground? To get the swing vote.
- Looking at a playground, how can you tell which kid is the child of a trombonist? He doesn't know how to use the slide and can't swing.
- Whats a gurls favorite thing to play with on the playground Mood Swings
Mood Swing Jokes
Here is a list of funny mood swing jokes and even better mood swing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a camera with severe mood swings? A BiPolaroid
- Teenagers have too many mood swings. One second they are all giggly and happy, but when I put in the back of my van, they get all pouty and start crying. Ugh, teenagers.
- My girlfriend's mood swings and my jet lag have one common cause Period
- What do you call an instigated teenager? An inclination of 1080p mood swings.
- Heard that David de Gea is sweet, loyal and puts up with mood swings. He's a keeper.
- A man was having mood swings... he was on his men struation period
- What do you call a sometimes homosexual arctic bear with heavy mood swings? A Bi bipolar polar bear!
- Which type of juice has the most mood swings? Caprice Sun. [OC]
Amusing Swing Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about swing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make swing pranks.
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, Wait! I'm a talking tree!
The lumberjack laughed and said, And you will dialogue.
A little girl went to her dad's baseball game.
Her dad is an MLB player. He's famous for bunting the ball. The little girl doesn't understand. She thinks the point is to the swing all the way with the bat.
So, next time he bunted, the girl shouted, much to the shock of the crowd, HARDER DADDY!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Frank and Harry are at their golf club...
As Frank gets set to take his swing, a f**... procession goes by. He steps back, takes his hat off and holds it over his heart. Harry walks over, puts his hand on Frank's shoulder and says "That was a thoughtful thing to do". To which Frank replies "It was the least I could do, we were married for 30 years."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can tell bad jokes too - A dog limps into a saloon...
As the batwing doors swing closed behind him, the patrons turn to eye the stranger up.
The dog c**... looks around the dim, smoky room and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A miner walks into a San Francisco bar.
He's been working out in the gold mines for 6 months and is desperately craving the company of a woman. He walks up to the bartender and asks, "I don't suppose you have any women? I haven't had s**... in months..."
The bartender replies, "No, sorry... BUT we do have c**... Charlie out back if you want".
The miner says "Thanks, but I don't swing that way", and turns around and heads back to the mines.
He comes back in another 6 months, and asks again. "Do you have any women since I was here last time?"
"No, but we still have c**... Charlie"
"Sorry, I don't swing that way". The miner buys a whiskey and turns around and walks out the door and goes back to work in the mines.
6 months after that, the miner comes back to the bar.
"You get any women? It's been a year since my first visit..."
"No man, sorry. We still have c**... Charlie though".
Now, the miner is pretty desperate at this point. It's been 18 months since he last got laid, and he's tired of waiting. After some deep consideration, the miner sighs and says, "Alright fine. The only people that'll know about this is you, me, and c**... Charlie, right?"
"Yep. And the two men that hold him down," says the bartender.
"Why would there be two men holding him down?" The miner asks with a confused look on his face.
"c**... Charlie doesn't swing that way either".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Playing golf, when a f**... procession goes by
A couple of guys are out playing golf one fine day. o**... is about to take a swing, when a f**... procession turns onto the street next to the golf course. The guy stops in the middle of his swing, takes off his hat, and bows his head until the procession is out of sight.
"Wow!" says the second guy. "That was one of the most touching things I've ever seen. I can't believe you'd stop in midswing like that, just for a f**... procession."
"Well," says the first guy. "We were married for 35 years; it's the least I could do."
A golfer and heaven
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.
He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?
A guy goes to his local golf course...
The club pro asks him if he wants to try out one of their experimental new robot caddies...on the house.
"Sure, why not?" the man says.
He returns after playing 18 holes and raves to the club pro about the caddy. The robot gave him swing tips throughout the round and always chose the perfect club for each shot. It was the best round of his life!
He returns the next weekend and excitedly requests a robot caddy from the club pro.
"Unfortunately, we had to dispose of all seven of our robot caddies recently", said the club pro.
"What!?, why!?" exclaimed the man.
"Well, the chrome plating of the robots was very shiny and, on sunny days, it was distracting some of our older members", said the club pro.
"That's simple! Why didn't you just paint them black??" Screamed the man.
"We tried that", the club pro said. "Six of them didn't show up for work the next day and the seventh robbed the pro shop!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Preacher goes to a party
A member of the church decided to call on his preacher to his house one Friday night. The preacher arrives to find a party in full swing.
On entering the house, he sees a circle of n**... men with blindfolded women moving from man to man, fondling their g**... in an attempt to guess their identity.
The embarrassed preacher turns to the host and says, "I'm sorry, I don't think I fit in here."
"Nonsense," says the host. "Your name's been called three times already!"
The Fishing Trip
On Friday afternoon, a man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go on a fishing trip with my boss. We'll be gone a week. This is a great chance for me to work on that promotion! Would you please pack some clothes for me and set out my rod and tackle box. I'll swing by the house to pick them up in an hour. Oh! And please pack my new blue pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend the husband comes home very tired, tan and happy. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he has had a good time.
I did! he says as he carries his things into the bedroom. You wouldn't believe all the fish we caught! Some bass, some catfish, and a few trout.
As he tosses his suitcase onto the bed, his wife leans against the doorjamb.
"Really." She says.
Yup, he says. Then he glances up at her, By the way, why didn't you pack my new blue pajamas like I asked?"
The wife crosses her arms and replies, "I did. They're in your tackle box."
Early, but here's one for the Holidays.
The Annual Chess-Lovers Convention was in full swing. This year, the highly-anticipated event was hosted by the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Expert players and avid enthusiasts gathered from all around the world for the occasion.
The afternoon of the first day, a heated debate broke out in the main atrium of the hotel. Two very experienced players started pompously arguing over whose opening strategies were better. As the argument progressed, more people joined in to voice their opinions. The atrium erupted in quite a disruption! Security guards intervened to break it up at the Hotel Manager's direction. He demanded the lot be forcibly removed from the hotel!
"Mr. Manager," one of the security guards spoke up. "You don't think that's overreacting a bit? It was just an argument. No one was hurt or anything."
"I don't care!" the manager declared. "I can't stand Chess Nuts Boasting in an Open Foyer!"
After a bad day on the course, a golfer goes to an old golf pro for some advice...
The old golf pro watches a few swings and the golfer says, "Well, what should I do?"
"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."
The golfer went back out to the links. He took the old man's advice on his first swing and POW, he hits the ball 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the afternoon, the golfer is crushing tee drives right down the center.
The ecstatic man goes back home and tells his wife all about the new technique he learned. Now the wife, being an avid golfer, want's to talk to the old golf pro, as well.
The next day, the wife also asks the old golf pro for advice. The old golf pro watched her swing and says, "No, no, no. You're gripping the club way too hard".
"What should I do?" asked the wife. "Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's manhood", said the old pro.
The wife listened carefully to the pro's advice, took a swing and THUMP... The ball skipped off of the tee box and rolled about 15 feet down the fairway.
"You know, that was a lot better than I expected!" the old pro said. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and hold it in your hands."
Priest and nun playing golf.
A priest and a nun are playing golf. The nun, on the first course, swing and hit the ball, right in the hole at the first strike. The priest hit the ball and threw it around. "Fxxx! I've missed!" said the priest. The nun glance at him and disagrees, moving the head. On the second hole, same scene: the nun succeded at the first strike, the priest threw it in the woods and started yelling: "Fxxx! I've missed!". The nun started complaining. Third hole, and following same exact scene. The priest shouts: "Fxxx! I've missed!" louder and louder. After another couple of holes, the nun said: "Enough! Stop dirty talking! If I hear you once more, may the sky strike you with a lightning!". The priest is very sorry and keep playing in silence. On the last hole, the nun scores in one strike. The priest threw the ball in a sand bunker and yelled: "Fxxx! I've missed!". The sky open itself and a enormous lightning strikes... the nun! From above the priest heard a voice: "Fxxx! I've missed!"
A Japanese shogun is looking for a new samurai.
He summons three swordsmen, one of them Jewish, to his palace to showcase their skills. The first swordsman stands before the shogun with a sword and a small box. When he opens the box, a small box. When he opens the box, a fly flies out. With one swing of his sword, the fly is dead. The second swordsman again brings a sword and a small box. When he opens the box, an even smaller fly comes out, and he kills it with one swing. The shogun is impressed. At last, the Jewish swordsman walks up. He is also carrying a sword and a small box. He opens the box and an even smaller fly comes out. He swings his sword around many times, but it doesn't seem to affect the fly. "I am disappointed," says the shogun. "You didn't kill the fly." The Jew replies, "A circumcision is not meant to kill."
So Jesus, Moses and an old man go golfing
The first to play is Jesus. After his swing, the ball land in the lake. He runs towards it, walks on the water and grabs the ball. Then it's Moses' turn. Bad luck, the same thing happens to him. He walks to the lake, spreads the water into two parts and grabs the ball on the dry ground. Finally, it's time for the old man to play. His ball lands on the top of a tree. Instead of getting the ball, he just waits. After a few minutes, a squirrel hiding in the tree takes the ball and goes down. Then a wolf attacks the squirrel, kills it and eats it. He goes further and ends up vomitting the ball, which is then taken by an eagle. The eagle goes even further, but a hunter shoots it down. The ball falls down and lands exactly in the golf hole. It's hole-in-one and the old man wins. Moses looks at Jesus and says: "I hate playing with your dad."
Sorry if it's a bit long, but I really like that one. Also sorry for my writing, I'm not a native English speaker.
A man and his wife go golfing
A man and his wife go golfing, and on the 8th hole he shanks the ball into a nearby barn. "Darn it," he says, "I'll have to take a penalty on that ball."
"No you don't," his wife says. "If I stand here and hold the barn door open, you should be able to get to the green in two."
So she holds the door open, and he takes his swing. The ball hits his wife in the head, killing her instantly.
A year to the day passes and it finds the golfer back on the same course, this time playing with a co-worker. As luck would have it, he shanks it again and ends up in the same barn.
"Don't worry," says the co-worker, "I can hold the door open and you'll be back on the fairway like that."
"Oh no," the golfer says, "I did the exact same thing a year ago with terrible results."
"What was that?" the co-worker asks.
"I got a 4 over," the golfer says.
EDIT -- corrected punch line.
Jesus, Moses and an Old Man go golfing
and they come up to the par 3. Moses steps up to take a swing and plop, right in the pond. So he steps up to the water, raises his hands and separates the water. He strolls up and chips it into the hole for a birdie. Jesus' turn and he plunks it in the drink, too. He walks on the water, takes a swing and chips it in for a birdie.
The old man steps up to the tee and takes a swing. And, you guessed it, he drops it into the water. Just then a fish swims up and gobbles the ball, a hawk comes flying in from the sky and swoops up the fish. Over the green, the bird lets go of the fish, who slams against the ground. letting the ball go... which rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus turns to the old man and says, "Dad, quit showing off."
How Tarzan's famous yell was invented.
Tarzan was swing through the jungle one day when he spotted Jane.
He hollered, "Jane! Grab vine!"
And he swung down to swoop her up.
"AHHHHHEEEEAHHHHEAHHHHH!!!!" "JANE GRAB WRONG VINE!!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tough Kid
An 8 year-old kid is sitting on a swing, eating jelly beans, in a playground in South Philly. This man walks by and says, "Hey kid, you shouldn't eat candy. It's not good for you."
Kid looks up and says, "You know my grandfather lived to be 95?"
"Yeah, and? He ate a lot of candy?"
Kid smiles and says, "No. But he knew how to mind his own f**...' business."
Joke my Grandpa told me. Pastors have the best jokes.
A blind man walks in to a store with his dog. He walks to the center of the store and starts to swing his dog around by the leash.
The store owner tries to stop the man "what do you think you are doing?"
The blindman replies "Just taking a look around."
My 12 year old son is already trying to be a dad
He gave me three jokes:
Q: Why couldn't Sam go on the swing set at school?
A: Because he's a turtle.
Q: Why couldn't Sally go on the swing set at school?
A: Because she doesn't have any arms.
Knock knock
(Who's there?)
Well, obviously not Sally!
a man walks in to an Animation Studio...
and goes to speak to the receptionist. Asking to see the head illustrator, the receptionist points to a swing in the middle of the room, where a man sits. "That is the head of the department, but good luck talking to him", she says. "He's in suspended animation".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three Bills at a bar
Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia where sitting at the bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:
"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."
The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:
"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."
The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and shows that he has two p**.... He then says:
"My name is Bill. Chernobyl."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My b**...-enthusiast friend has been dating around for sometime now to no avail.
His love life is pretty much a swing and a miss.
Saw some Mennonites playing Baseball yesterday
All I saw was a swing and Amish
So hoola hoops are a thing again...
I figured they'd swing in to style again eventually!
I met a bisexual swing the other day
It swung both ways.
why did jimmy fall off the swing?
What was the favorite genre of music of the man that hung himself off of a windy bridge
Swing
A blind man walks into a shop...
...he picks his guide dog up by the tail and starts to swing it around his head. "Can I help you!?" Asks the shop assistant. "No thanks" said the man, "I'm just looking around."
Why did Timmy fall off the swing?
Because he got hit in the head with an axe.
How did Tarzan get his cry?
As he was about to swing to the next tree he said, "OK, Cheeta, hang on anywhere".
For a happy marriage....
I have always heard that you should marry your best friend.
I asked my best friend. He said he didn't swing that way.
Ambidextrous baseball players...
Swing both ways
Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?
He was taking a look around
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, the wife welcomes her lover...
...but before they start their adulterous activites, the wife says:
'Honey! Let's put a blanket on the parrot's cage, because last time he almost busted us!'
So they put a blanket on the parrot's cage. However, before they start, the lover comes up with a new idea:
'Honey! I just invented a new position! You'll go on all fours, I'll jump up on the chandelier, swing in, and I'll p**... with a deep t**... from behind!'
To which they hear the parrot's voice:
'You can cut out my tongue for all I care, but I wanna see **that**!'
Little Johnny goes inside the house
Johnny: Mom, can I go swing Grandma?
Mom: No, first we have to find out why she hung herself
[Original] What is the similarity between bi-people and a pendulum?
They swing both ways.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How can you tell if you are at a gay church?
The church bells swing in the other direction.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make...
How do you make a dead baby float?
With a scoop of ice cream.
How do you make a dead baby shake?
Cup of milk
2 cups of fruit
A dead baby and a blender
How do you make a dead baby split?
A sharp axe and a strong swing.
Why did Johnny fall off the swing?
Because Johnny was a goldfish.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two scotsmen are playing golf.
There are two Scotsmen out for a day of golf, Angus is ready to swing on the fifteenth hole. There is a country road that runs parallel to the course.
As Angus is about to swing a f**... procession comes around the corner. He stops and takes off his hat until the f**... procession passed and turned the corner.
His friend is clearly moved, "Aye Angus, that was a very nice thing to do. Very respectful of ye to do that for that family."
Angus gets ready to continue paying and nods, "Aye, she was a good wife."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly man is out playing golf with a friend...
An elderly man is out playing golf with a friend.
During his turn, right before his swing, a f**... procession drives by along the border fence.
The elderly man pauses, takes off his hat, and places it on his chest.
As the procession drives along, the elderly mans friend stands just flabbergasted.
Once the procession passes, the elderly man resumes setting up his swing.
"Now hold on a second!" The elderly mans friend shouts, "That was quite a show of respect! I have never seen anything like it!"
"Well, I had to do something."
"Why's that?" Replied the elderly mans friend.
"I was married to her for 40 years!"
I wanted to teach my kids about American democracy, so I let them choose what food to have dinner.
They chose pizza, but I gave them tacos since they didn't live in a swing state.
What's Spidermans favorite type of music?
Swing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a lonely little boy sitting all by himself on a swing, so I went over and gave him a push…
He still wouldn't get off, so I punched him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an old, overweight man's golf swing?
A s**....
Coming back from a hockey game I heard this
Hey man which way do you shoot?
Oh you know I swing both ways.
(Courtesy of two funny drunks)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When it comes to picking up girls, sometimes I swing...
And sometimes I get charged for s**... assault.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do a double hinged gate and a bi-s**... have in common?
They swing both ways.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife had a terrible mood swing during her period.
She's just o**... acting.
Why do baseball players sleep with random strangers?
Because they like to swing
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What type of punch can take out 20 kids and 6 adults in one swing?
A sandy hook
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are an old man's t**... like a chariot?
Because both swing low.
Jesus. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting some loudmouth who objects to an old metaphor. Luckily ...
I don't have a dog in this fight.
What did the Amish baseball sportscaster say?
And it's a swing and Amish.
What is a swingers favorite crime?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three Bills at a bar
Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia were sitting at a bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:
"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."
The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:
"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."
The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and proudly shows his two p**.... He then says:
"My name is Bill. Cherno Bill."
What's the deal with airplane food?
YOU DON'T NEED TO SWING A SPOON AROUND AND MAKE NOISES TO GET ME TO EAT SOMETHING, MOM!!!
I'm an adult now...
A dad was pushing his daughter on a swing when he decided to strike up a conversation with her
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to a swingers club on the weekend
I got through the front door and the lady on the desk said it's £10 to get in, or you can pay £15 and you get a meal . So I paid the £15 and went in. It seemed to be going alright - then this n**... oily guy walked up to me and said hello, I'm Amil .
My ex wife didn't show up to the custody trial, so now I get full custody of my kids!
Now I just need to swing by her house and untie her.
I got hit in the eye in a game of swing ball
Oh well, what goes around comes around
I'm terrified of bats, but I blame my childhood for that.
My dad always took a good swing at me.
I used to be a trapeze artist...
...but I couldn't swing it, so they let me go
Last week, a burglary was reported at the fairgrounds
The burglars appear to have taken the bumper cars, the Tilt-a-Whirl, the spinning teacups, the Whirligig swing, the carousel and the Ferris wheel. Detectives have been searching the fairgrounds for clues, but report they still haven't found anything to go on.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have quite a strange sexuality - I'm attracted to undercover cops
You can imagine my disappointment tonight when I was greeted at the local swing park by YET ANOTHER 14 year old boy.
We're celebrating 911 today, swing on by...
...for dueling jenga and paper airplane contests.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the primate afraid to swing to the other tree?
Because he was a chim-p**...!
What kind of bats swing upside down?
Acro-bats!
(From my 6 year old)
Why did Betty fall off the swing?
Because Betty was a Pineapple
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are baseballers gay?
Because they swing for the home team.
