The Best 36 Swine Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Swine jokes. There are some swine barnyard jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these swine oinkment puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Swine Jokes and Puns

Before swine met Jesus, what was it?

Swater

HOW DO PIGS TALK?

SWINE LANGUAGE.

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'.
i'm sorry.

Swine joke, What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu

(joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu


You know, people in the 1970s thought there would be a black president when pigs fly...

Then Barack Obama was elected. And after a year, swine flu.

What do you call a frozen swine lavatory?

A pigloo

I'll see myself out.

Swine joke, What do you call a frozen swine lavatory?

Dad Joke: People said the USA would have a black president when pigs fly.

Swine Flu.

They said when pigs fly..

But the swine already flu

What do you call a pig that has never been tested for an infection?

Uncultured swine.

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

You can explore swine poultry reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean swine oink dad jokes. There are also swine puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


One fine day, down at the local diner.

A waitress taking the breakfast order of a mother and her young son is startled when the little boy looks up at her and growls in a low, deep voice:

**"I want to consume the flesh of swine, and the unborn."**

His mother shakes her head, sighs, and says, "Bacon and eggs. He wants bacon and eggs."

This person told me "When pigs fly I'll get my kid vaccinated!"

Alas, swine flu.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment!!!!

What did Ralph yell at the swine who enjoyed autonomous sensory meridian response?

Sucks to your ASMR, piggy!

what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass?

Jurassic Pork

Ill show^myself^out

Swine joke, what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass?

My daughters favorite joke...

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

One requires tweetment, and the other requires oinkment.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A FLYING PIG?

Swine flu

What's the difference between an honest politician and a flying pig?

There actually was a time when swine flu.


A patient tells his doctor he thinks he contracted Swine Flu and Avian Flu at the same time.

The doctor tells him "I'll believe that when pigs fly."

Wife: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

Me: Well, it has to do with the original animal vectors and -
Wife: No! For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.

What do you call two pigs that are good at math?

Swine and Coswine.

How do we know pigs fly?

Swine flu.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it.

It's spam.

A pig goes to the doctors with swine flu.

The doctor gives him a leaflet for a therapeutic spa and tells him to go straight there.

When he gets there he's instructed to lay in a shallow bath of salt and sugar.

He chuckles to himself and thinks, "what's this supposed to do, cure me!"

I saw a flying pig! He was coughing and sneezing though, so I killed him.

After all, the swine flu!

My dad told me that I would only be successful when pigs fly.

WELL GUESS WHAT DAD?! Swine Flu.

What's fowl and swine, but people can't resist shoving down their throat?

A turkey and ham sandwich.

I'll see myself out.

I thought I understood the meaning of when pigs fly,

But then the swine flew.

What did yogurt say to bacon?

You uncultured swine.

Did you know... If you count to three in a German restaurant, the waiter will bring you some proscuttio?

Ein swine, dry...

An angry mom once told me that she'd get her kid vaccinated when pigs fly.

Alas, swine flu.

Got vaccinated, avoided swine flues. Got vaccinated, avoided bird flues. Then I bought a house with two fireplaces.

Got chimney flues.

A pig, tired of its pregnant wife, decided to leave her

As a result, the pregnant swine did not have a baby...

Because she got a-boar-shun.

What did one petri dish say to the other?

Ahh, I see you too are a man of culture.



What did the petri dish say to the refrigerated porkchop?

>!Uncultured Swine!!<

How do pigs communicate?

Swine language

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the swine hog jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working swine piggy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes