Swine Jokes

60 swine jokes and hilarious swine puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about swine that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get your pork puns ready and take a ride to the funny side with these hilarious swine jokes! From boars to hams and even the notorious swine flu, there's something to make everyone chuckle. Join us for a ride in the Hambulance and prepare for our best poultry puns around!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Swine Short Jokes

Short swine jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The swine humour may include short pigs jokes also.

  1. My daughters favorite joke... What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
    One requires tweetment, and the other requires oinkment.
  2. What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu? one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'.
    i'm sorry.
  3. What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment!!!!
  4. You know, people in the 1970s thought there would be a black president when pigs fly... Then barack obama was elected. And after a year, swine flu.
  5. What is the difference between avian flu and swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.
  6. What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu ? Bird flu requires tweetment and swine flu requires oinkment.
  7. If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.
  8. My dad told me that I would only be successful when pigs fly. WELL GUESS WHAT DAD?! Swine Flu.
  9. What did one petri dish say to the other? Ahh, I see you too are a man of culture.

    What did the petri dish say to the refrigerated porkchop?
    >!Uncultured Swine!!<
  10. What's the difference between an honest politician and a flying pig? There actually was a time when swine flu.

Share These Swine Jokes With Friends

Swine One Liners

Which swine one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with swine? I can suggest the ones about pork and boar.

  1. This person told me "When pigs fly I'll get my kid vaccinated!" Alas, swine flu.
  3. They said when pigs fly.. But the swine already flu
  4. A lot of people talk about when pigs fly but swine flu.
  5. How do pigs communicate? Swine language
  6. How did they cure the swine flu? With oinkment.
  7. what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass? Jurassic Pork
    Ill show^myself^out
  8. What do you call a pig that has never been tested for an infection? Uncultured swine.
  9. I thought I understood the meaning of when pigs fly, But then the swine flew.
  10. Where should pigs be stored safely? The swine cellar.
  11. What do you call a frozen swine lavatory? A pigloo
    I'll see myself out.
  12. How do pigs communicate? By using swine language.
  13. Dad Joke: People said the USA would have a black president when pigs fly. Swine Flu.
  14. Did you hear about the pig who got sick after catching a flight? Swine flu
  15. Before swine met Jesus, what was it? Swater

Swine Flu Jokes

Here is a list of funny swine flu jokes and even better swine flu puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A patient tells his doctor he thinks he contracted Swine Flu and Avian Flu at the same time. The doctor tells him "I'll believe that when pigs fly."
  • I saw a flying pig! He was coughing and sneezing though, so I killed him. After all, the swine flu!
  • How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu
    (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)
  • How do we know pigs fly? Swine flu.
  • An angry mom once told me that she'd get her kid vaccinated when pigs fly. Alas, swine flu.
  • What happened when pigs started flying? Everyone got swine flu
  • George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!" ... well, swine flu.
  • It was always said that a black man would be the POTUS only when pigs fly Then in 2009, swine flu.
  • What happens when a cop sneezes on you? You get the swine flu
Swine joke, What happens when a cop sneezes on you?

Laughter Swine Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about swine you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean guinea pig jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make swine pranks.

Wife: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

Me: Well, it has to do with the original animal vectors and -
Wife: No! For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.

A pig goes to the doctors with swine flu.

The doctor gives him a leaflet for a therapeutic spa and tells him to go straight there.
When he gets there he's instructed to lay in a shallow bath of salt and sugar.
He chuckles to himself and thinks, "what's this supposed to do, cure me!"

One fine day, down at the local diner.

A waitress taking the breakfast order of a mother and her young son is startled when the little boy looks up at her and growls in a low, deep voice:

**"I want to consume the flesh of swine, and the unborn."**

His mother shakes her head, sighs, and says, "Bacon and eggs. He wants bacon and eggs."

What's fowl and swine, but people can't resist shoving down their t**...?

A turkey and ham sandwich.
I'll see myself out.

What do you call two pigs that are good at math?

Swine and Coswine.

What did yogurt say to bacon?

You uncultured swine.

Swine joke, How do we know pigs fly?

jokes about swine