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Swimming Dog Jokes

16 swimming dog jokes and hilarious swimming dog puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about swimming dog that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Swimming Dog Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good swimming dog joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

What kind of dog likes to swim?

Scuba Dooby doo!

What do you call a dog who can't swim?

A land rover

an elderly woman's dog jumps off a retaining wall

a German tourist passes by and see the elderly woman and decides to jump in after the the dog. He swims the dog back to shore and the woman comes up to him and asks him if hes a vet and the tourist replys "Vet? im vucking soaked".

What do you call a depressed dog swimming in a pool?

A watermeloncollie.

Why did two dogs swim?

Because t**... quatre cinque

A drunk old Irish man told me this one...

A man, a pig and his dog are marooned on a deserted island. After a couple of months in isolation the man becomes lonely and begins getting ideas about the pig. But every time he tries it on with the pig, the dog would start biting his leg and barking at him.
One day the man spots a beautiful woman floating on a raft out in the sea. He swims out as fast as he can and rescues her, and brings her onshore. The woman is overwhelmed with gratitude for him and says
Thank you for saving me, I will do anything you want .
With a cheeky glint in his eye, delighted with this offer, the man eagerly says

Brilliant! You see that dog? Go take him for a feckin walk

an oldie but a goodie

This farmer buys a dog to go duck hunting with. The first day out he shoots a duck and it falls in the lake. To his amazement the dog walks on the water over to the duck, picks it up and brings it back to the farmer.
To test his disbelief he shoots another one. Once again the dog walks over and retrieves the duck.
The next day the farmer takes his friend duck hunting. The farmer shoots one duck and his dog retrieves it in his unique way. His friend says nothing.
So the farmer shoots another duck and the dog retrieves it. Still his friend hasn't said a thing. So the farmer asks "Have you noticed anything unusual about my dog?"
"Yes" answered his friend, "he can't swim can he?"

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog.

His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim."

So this guy is stranded on an island with a goat and a dog.

Days pass.. then weeks... then months... and years pass with no human contact. He starts to crave the urge to have s**....
So he looks around and sees the goat. Comes up with the idea to have s**... with it. He positions her right and is ready for some action. But just as he is about to pull his pants down, he sees the dog just staring at him. Uncomfortable, he decides to try again the next day.
Next day comes and he guides the goat to a hill side where he would like to do his deed. Just as he's about to pull his pants down, out of nowhere, he sees the dog staring at him. He gives up again.
A few days go by and he sees a boat sinking offshore. He hears this women screaming for help. He swims to her rescue and the woman is grateful to him.
Thanking him she says, "Can I do anything to repay you."
He replies, "Anything?"
"Yes, anything." she answers.
So then he asks, "Okay. Can you take the dog out for a walk?"

A man, a dog and a pig are in a boat...

Lost at sea, they wreck the boat and swim to a deserted island. Stranded there for months with little to do, the man begins to get urges and becomes oddly attracted to the pig. The man tries to mount the pig one day and out of no where the dog runs up and bites the man. Two days later, the man tries again. Again, the dog bites the man. The dog is not letting this happen. This continues to happen and suddenly, the man hears a cry from the water and sees a woman struggling as her boat is also wrecked and sinking. He quickly swims out to save the woman and brings her ashore. As she collects herself, she says to the man, "Thank you so much for saving my life! If there is anything I can do for you, and I mean anything, it will be done!" The man replies, "Can you take that dog for a walk?"

An Olympic swimmer...

...is on a cruise ship, when it hits a reef and sinks. Bobbing in the waves, he spies an island in the distance, makes for it, and barely gets ashore. All he finds on the isle are fruit trees, a female sheep and a big dog. The fruit trees provide sustenance, but he starts to feel lonely. The sheep has luxurious fur, beautiful eyes and long lashes that she shyly bats at him. When he approaches her, the dog viciously attacks and repels him. This goes on for months, until he can hardly bear it.
One day he sees another ship sinking at sea. Swimming out, he sees a woman thrashing in the waves. He saves her as she's about to perish, and hauls her ashore. As luck would have it, she's absolutely gorgeous.
"I'm so grateful to you for saving my life...I'll do anything you ask, as a way to repay you."
The swimmer can't believe his luck. "Anything?"
The young woman smiles coyly. "Anything your heart desires."
"Can you take that big dog over there for a walk?"

A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company.


There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely.
The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks.
But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg.
Very frustrating.
One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious.
He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health.
Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it."
The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"


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Swimming Dog One Liners

Which swimming dog one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with swimming dog? I can suggest the ones about swimmer and swimming pool.

  1. What kind of dog likes to swim? Scuba Dooby doo!
  2. What do you call a dog who can't swim? A land rover
  3. What do you call a depressed dog swimming in a pool? A watermeloncollie.
  4. Why did two dogs swim? Because t**... quatre cinque