The Best 35 Swimmer Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Swimmer jokes. There are some swimmer downstream jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these swimmer shark puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Swimmer Jokes and Puns

Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer?

In denial.

What did the pool cleaner say to the impatient swimmer?

Whoa, whoa, whoa... Wade just a minute.

What is the difference between a swimmer who came in second and a priest

They both came in a little behind.

What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common?

The both came in a little behind

jokes about swimmer

Did you hear about the Scooby Doo villain who became an Olympic swimmer?

He would have won, if it weren't for all those medaling swimmers!

I heard a swimmer shout "Help shark help!!

I just laughed. I knew the shark wasn't going to help him!

What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows

Yeah, I know it's old....

Swimmer joke, What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?


Swimming Joke

Q: Where will you find a swimmer who can't believe he's drowning?
A: In de-Nile! Explain

Babys In Mothers Woom

Three babies are in their mother's womb. One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here." The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here." The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!

A swimmer and a shark walk into a dive bar

They had a great time.


Blonde Swimmer

In a swim-meet, after the blonde came in last place competing in the breast-stroke, she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.

You can explore swimmer limbless reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean swimmer athlete dad jokes. There are also swimmer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why do the best swimmers come from Flint, Michigan?

Because they're always in the lead.

Michael Phelps is such a good swimmer...

He was conceived anally

What's Usain Bolt's opinion on what should be done to the American swimmer who lied about a robbery?

Lochte guy up.

What do you call a limbless swimmer?


What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

Washed up.

Swimmer joke, What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

An Egyptian man won't accept that he is a bad swimmer, so he jumped into the river...

He's still in the Nile.

What do you call a plumber that competes in the Olympics?

A sinkhronized swimmer.

Two Italians having a conversation...

First one says: So i heard that you're good swimmer.
Second one replies: Yeah, i was a postman in Venice for 4 years.

Why do so many swimmers and surfers drown in rip currents?

Because it's short for Rest In Peace currents.

How does a quadriplegic swimmer handle peer pressure?

He just goes with the flow.

I'm sorry to tell you what happened to the Olympic Swimmer...

He had a stroke.

Why I can never become a swimmer

Because the only stroke I'll be doing is the one in the brain.

What is grey, has wings and is a terrible swimmer?

A castle.

Swimmer's mental problems

An Egyptian swimmer and a French swimmer were recently taken to a mental hospital.

One was in denial and the other was insane.

How do you know which swimmer is the sex offender?

It's the breast stroker

Swimmer joke, How do you know which swimmer is the sex offender?

What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?

A slow swimmer.

How did Barbie get to be such a good swimmer?

She trained with doll-fins.

Did you hear about the Polish swimmer who tried to swim across the English Channel?

He only made it a little over halfway before he got tired and turned around to go back.

What do you use to tell how fast an Olympic swimmer is going?

A speedo meter

What do call a swimmer with no arms or legs?


They call someone who wears boxer shorts a boxer, they call someone who wears swim shorts a swimmer, but what do you call someone who doesn't wear any shorts at all?

A swinger.

Swimming Coach: "Hey! Why are you doing only the backstroke?"

Swimmer: "Because I just ate, sir. I don't want to swim on a full stomach."

My boss said he races boats

So I said, Wow, you must be a fast swimmer!

I am a better swimmer than you'd think.

In fact, Michael Phelps and I have 28 Olympic swimming medals combined.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the swimmer vaulter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working swimmer swim piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes