Swimmer Jokes

51 swimmer jokes and hilarious swimmer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about swimmer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh it up with these hilarious Swimmer Jokes! From addressing issues of competitive swimming to poking fun at the bad swimmers out there, these jokes will have you on the (shallow) edge of your seat. Who knew that even transgender swimmers, limbless fish, and the Nile River could be the center of humorous one-liners?

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Funniest Swimmer Short Jokes

Short swimmer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The swimmer humour may include short swims jokes also.

  1. I heard a swimmer shout "Help shark help!! I just laughed. I knew the shark wasn't going to help him!
  2. Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy? They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm.
  3. Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers. They defend the ships much more eagerly.
  4. I've always wanted a swimmers body so I go to the swimming pool everyday... But no one ever drowns
  5. TIL, Hippos can run faster than humans on land and swimmer faster in water But still you can defeat them in a triathlon as they don't know how to ride a bicycle
  6. An Egyptian man won't accept that he is a bad swimmer, so he jumped into the river... He's still in the Nile.
  7. Swimming coach: "Hey! Why are you doing only the backstroke?" Swimmer: "Because I just ate, sir. I don't want to swim on a full stomach."
  8. Why doesn't Mexico host the Olympic games? All the good runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the US.
  9. Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.
  10. What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common? The both came in a little behind

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Swimmer One Liners

Which swimmer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with swimmer? I can suggest the ones about swam and swim team.

  1. Michael Phelps is such a good swimmer... He was conceived anally
  2. How did Barbie get to be such a good swimmer? She trained with doll-fins.
  3. What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A slow swimmer.
  4. My boss said he races boats So I said, Wow, you must be a fast swimmer!
  5. Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer? In denial.
  6. Why do the best swimmers come from Flint, Michigan? Because they're always in the lead.
  7. What's the soft stuff between sharks' teeth? Slow swimmers
  8. What do they use to track Olympic swimmers' speed? A speedo meter.
  9. What is grey, has wings and is a terrible swimmer? A castle.
  10. How does a quadriplegic swimmer handle peer pressure? He just goes with the flow.
  11. Why don't the Cubans have Olympic swimmers? Because they make it here.
  12. Why aren't there any Mexican swimmers in the Olympics? Because they're all in the US
  13. Why are gay people such good swimmers? because they are flambuoyant
  14. What do you call a retired professional swimmer? Washed up.
  15. What do you use to tell how fast an Olympic swimmer is going? A speedo meter

Good Swimmer Jokes

Here is a list of funny good swimmer jokes and even better good swimmer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because all their good runners, jumpers and swimmers are in America
  • Two Italians having a conversation... First one says: So i heard that you're good swimmer.
    Second one replies: Yeah, i was a postman in Venice for 4 years.
  • Why does Mexico not get very many Olympic Medals? cause all the good runners, jumpers and swimmers are already in the US
  • Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup."
    Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
  • What makes a shark such a good swimmer? Duh! Its efficiency!
Swimmer joke, What makes a shark such a good swimmer?

Cheeky Swimmer Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about swimmer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean swimming dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make swimmer pranks.

They call someone who wears boxer shorts a boxer, they call someone who wears swim shorts a swimmer, but what do you call someone who doesn't wear any shorts at all?

A s**....

How do you know which swimmer is the s**... offender?

It's the breast stroker

I am a better swimmer than you'd think.

In fact, michael phelps and I have 28 Olympic swimming medals combined.

Did you hear about the s**... Doo villain who became an Olympic swimmer?

He would have won, if it weren't for all those medaling swimmers!

Babys In Mothers Woom

Three babies are in their mother's w**.... One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here." The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here." The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!

What did the pool cleaner say to the impatient swimmer?

Whoa, whoa, whoa... Wade just a minute.

What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows
Yeah, I know it's old....

Swimmer's mental problems

An Egyptian swimmer and a French swimmer were recently taken to a mental hospital.
One was in denial and the other was insane.

Why I can never become a swimmer

Because the only s**... I'll be doing is the one in the brain.

What is the difference between a swimmer who came in second and a priest

They both came in a little behind.

I'm sorry to tell you what happened to the Olympic Swimmer...

He had a s**....

What do you call a plumber that competes in the Olympics?

A sinkhronized swimmer.

Blonde Swimmer

In a swim-meet, after the blonde came in last place competing in the breast-s**..., she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.


Swimming Joke
Q: Where will you find a swimmer who can't believe he's drowning?
A: In de-Nile! Explain

What do call a swimmer with no arms or legs?


Swimmer joke, What do call a swimmer with no arms or legs?

jokes about swimmer