The Best 11 Swig Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Swig jokes. There are some swig beer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these swig wipes puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Swig Jokes and Puns

One day, these parents wanted to find out what their Son was going to be when he grew up,

So they put a $100 bill, a bible and a whiskey bottle on a table.
If he picked up the $100 bill, it means that he was going to be a businessman, if he picked up the whiskey bottle, it means that he was going to be in the entertainment industry, and if he picked up the bible, it means that he was going to be a pastor.
The child came in and picked up the bible, his Mother smiled.
Then he picked up the whiskey bottle and took a swig of it then proceeded to pocket the $100 bill and left.
Well I'll be damned the father said
He's going to become a politician.

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that every time her husband comes home from drinking he beats her......

The doctor says that next time he comes home, open a bud light, take a swig and keep it in her mouth as long as possible without swallowing. Wife says ok and heads home
Two days later she is back and tells the doctor that it work amazingly, her husband came home drunk, so she grabbed the bud light, took as swig and kept it in her mouth for nearly ten minutes, her husband didn't hit her once!
Doctor looks at her and says "amazing what happens when you keep your mouth shut"

An Irish man finds a lamp

He rubs it enthusiastically and out pops a genie who states "Thank you for freeing me, I grant you 2 wishes" the Irishman ponders this for a while before making his first wish "I wish I had a pint of Guinness that never goes down" he says excitedly. The pint appears in his hand, he takes a swig and it immediately refills. "This is marvellous!" The Irishman says "I'll have another one of those please!"

Swig joke, An Irish man finds a lamp

Irish Joke

Paddy walks into a chemist ,pulls out a small bottle from his pocket, removes the cork and addresses the pharmacist.
"Wid ye mind tastin that fir me"?
The man takes a swig and screws his face up in disgust. "Thats terrible" he says. "So bitter".
Paddy replies with delight "Oh tats good news, they told me to bring a sample here and get tested fir me sugar levels".

Two chinese men break into a distillery one night

One of them grabs a bottle, takes a swig and asks his friend: "Is this whiskey?"

His friend replied nodding: "yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank"


Christianity is the best way to cure gayness

Just get on your knees, take a swig of wine and accept the body of a man into your mouth

A travelling salesman walks into a bar...

He's going over the menu when a local guy slides onto the stool next to him, and just says one word: Waterloo.

Guessing he's onto something of a local speciality, he asks for one himself. He takes a deep swig and pulls a face: This doesn't taste like anything at all!!! he exclaims.

The local guy asks the bartender: Well, what did he expect? It's a water, innit Lou?

Swig joke, A travelling salesman walks into a bar...

How many drunks does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to swig till the room starts to spin.

Bob and Earl are fishing on a boat.

and Bob says "Yunno, I think I'm gonna divorce the wife, she hasn't spoken to me in 2 months."

Earl spits his dip overboard and takes a long swig of his beer with a casual exhale. "You should really think it over...Women like that are hard to find."

Swiggity swooty...

I'm comin' for Djibouti.

A baseball player walking into a bar

He tries to take a shot of whisky but ends up splashing it all over his shirt.
A baseball commentator from the other side of the bar says "A swig and a miss!"

You can explore swig swallow reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean swig bartender dad jokes. There are also swig puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the swig rootbeer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working swig flask piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes