The Best 17 Swell Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Swell jokes. There are some swell lumps jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these swell linen puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Swell Jokes and Puns

A man walks into a Bar.

A man walks into a bar and sees a very attractive woman sitting by herself and asks, May I buy you a cocktail?

"No thank you," she replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs."

"Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"

"No, they spread."

Man offers a drink to a woman at a party.

Woman: No thanks, whisky is bad for my legs.
Man: Legs? Thats strange, do they pain or swell?
Woman: No, they spread.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink.
As the bartender pours his drink, he begins to hear little voices saying nice things to him.
"Great tie, looks nice with those shoes."
"Swell haircut."

He asks the bartender about the voices, and the bartender replies, "Oh. It's the peanuts, they're complimentary."

Swell joke, A man walks into a bar

Man: May I buy you a drink, pretty lady?

Woman: No thanks, alcohol is bad for my legs.

Man: Do they swell?

Woman: No, they spread

Alcohol is bad

In a pub a man sees a blonde and sits next to her:
- Can I buy you a drink?
- No thanks, alcohol is bad for my legs.
- Oh, I'm sorry... Do they tend to swell?
- No, they tend to spread!


I like my women like I like my peanut butter.

To make me swell up and then restrict my breathing.

*A Man offers whisky to a woman* who happens to sit next to him alone in a bar counter.

*Woman*: "No thanks. I don't take alcohol. It's bad for my legs. "

*Man*: "Legs ? That's strange !!! Do they swell, hurt or what ? "

*Woman*: "No ! They open easily !!! "

Swell joke, *A Man offers whisky to a woman* who happens to sit next to him alone in a bar counter.

A man and woman were at a bar

Man: Hey, how about I offer you a drink

Woman: No thanks, they are bad for my legs

Man: Do they swell?

Woman: No, they spread.

My Grandad's joke: Hey, young fella! Want to see something swell?

Hit your thumb with a hammer!

Yesterday, I was feeling quite sea sick,

but today I'm doing just swell.

I have a very good friend I call him Poseidon

Because he is a swell guy.

You can explore swell allergies reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean swell sunblock dad jokes. There are also swell puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'm allergic to beautiful women.

They make parts of me swell up.

What's one thing that a beautiful woman and a jar of peanut butter have in common?

They can both make me swell up to 3 times my normal size.

My brother is allergic to the word 'cheese'. If you say it he would swell and expand like a balloon.

We have some very weird family photos.

Why did C swell up

Because it got stung by A B

How can you tell if someone's wearing pantyhose?

Their ankles swell when they fart.

Swell joke, How can you tell if someone's wearing pantyhose?

I fell in love with a mosquito..

The love bites were swell.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the swell wave jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working swell libido piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes