The Best 27 Sweets Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sweets jokes. There are some sweets sugary jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sweets kitkats puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sweets Jokes and Puns

It was at the end of the school year,

and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "

That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.

The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

What kind of sweets do sheep like?

Candy Baas.

STDs are like sweets....

I enjoy giving them to little children

Sweets joke, STDs are like sweets....

I gave my Chinese mate some sweets yesterday...

He said, oh these are Haribo!

Well if you don't like them, don't eat them then.

Just been reading how more people die from choking on sweets' packaging than the sweets themselves.

Gums don't kill people, wrappers do.


Wow! last night was crazy. I killed 15 zombies just in the first hour alone.

Anyone know why they were all carrying sweets?

What kind of sweets do trucks like?

Lorrypops.

Sweets joke, What kind of sweets do trucks like?

What do you get when you cross a playground with sweets?

Sex.

Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat

So eat loads of sweets

and pass on those vegetables

An old couple lay dying of cancer

The wife turns to the husband and says "I have a confession to make. For years I switched the sugar in your coffee with powdered asbestos."

A tear comes to the husband's eyes he replies that he too has a confession to make. "I switched our coffees because you loved sweets. This tumor is hereditary."

A man buys some chocolate pudding from a sweets shop, and finds it's turned a sickly green color.

He says to the manager, "this is off pudding."

You can explore sweets twix reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sweets sweet potato dad jokes. There are also sweets puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A psychologist addresses three mothers, telling them that he brought each of them there to reflect their life addictions.

To the first mother he says, "You have an addiction to sweets, as you named your daughter Candy."

To the second mother he says, "You have an addiction to gambling and money, hence your daughter is named Penny."

And before the psychologist could approach the final mother, she grabs her son by the arm and says "Come on, Richard, we're leaving."

I'm diabetic, and I can't eat sweets

It'll cost me an arm and a leg.

(It's ok for me to post this, cos I am actually a diabetic)

I love Halloween

It's the only time of the year I'm not questioned for giving out sweets to small children.

My doctor told me quite harshly that I have to quit eating sweets if I want to avoid diabetes

He didn't sugarcoat it.

Remember kids, if a strange man offers you sweets,

There's probably more in his car!

Sweets joke, Remember kids, if a strange man offers you sweets,

When I was a kid -

My mum used to send me to the corner shop of our street with a ten-bob note, and for that I'd bring back 6 eggs, 2 bottles of milk, a loaf of bread, 5lb of potatoes and a packet of sweets for me. Trouble is, you can't do that today.....

Too many cameras.

John Candy offered John Goodman sweets

John: Candy?
John: Nah, I'm good, man.

Why do people eat pastries and sweets when they are stressed?

Because desserts are stressed spelt backwards.


Did you hear about the Jewish paedophile?

He sprung out from the bushes, and say, "hey kid, wanna buy some sweets?"

I hate being an adult in times like these, $5 used to get you 12 eggs, a bar of chocolate a massive bag of sweets, milk, a sack of potatoes, a bottle of vodka...

Shame for cameras in stores...

My mom doesn't like it when I eat a lot of sweets

So whenever she asks me how much I've had I just fudge the numbers.

Behind the counter of a sweet shop stood pretty Cathy, who was six feet tall and 15 inches wide. What did she weigh?

Sweets.

I went to the dentist, he told me "you'll have to stop eating sweets"

I said "why, will my teeth fall out?" He said "no, you've bit my fingers twice"

I don't quite know what this country is coming to, you have school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children.

I don't know if I should carry more money or more sweets.

My mom sent me sweets, but I'm on diet, so I eat all of them in one day and be on diet whole month

[Modern problem require Modern Solution]

My five-year-old, everyone.

My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:

 

Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."

Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"

Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"

Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me names like hungry or thirsty or anything!"

Me: "Alright, I'm not going to say that anymore."

Her: "Nice to meet you, not going to say that anymore."

 

I had just been out-dad-joked by my five-year-old. It was so unexpected, and was the first time I think I recognized how hilarious she was with her wit. I really miss her (because of a divorce, not a funeral).

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sweets lolly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sweets confection piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes