The Best 51 Sweetie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sweetie jokes. There are some sweetie babe jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sweetie sweet puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sweetie Jokes and Puns

A Fireman See's a Little Girl

that has her own homemade firetruck with her dog and a red wagon.He says to the little girl, "That's a nice looking firetruck little missy!" She then says, "Thank You!" He keeps checking it out when he notices that the rope that's tied to the wagon is tied to the dogs testicles.He tells the little girl, "Sweetie, I think your firetruck would go a lot faster if the rope was tied to the dogs neck." She replies, "Oh I know that Sir!But then it wouldn't have a siren!"

Waking your husband for work in the morning...

"Baby, get up, it's time to go to work. Hooneey, it's time to get up! Get. Up... you need to get up, now! No, sweetie - all of you needs to get up!"

A mother takes a bath with her 5 year old boy

The boy sees her bush and asks, "Mommy what is that?" The mother, thinking quickly, simply says, "Why that's my sponge, sweetie." The boy then says, "Oh yeah! The babysitter also has one." Apalled, the mother asks, "How do you know something like that?" The boy responds with, "I know because I saw her washing daddy's face the other day."

Sweetie joke, A mother takes a bath with her 5 year old boy

Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone?

**Her**: Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone?

**Him**: What about the other one?

**Her**: The other one is buying me a tablet.

An older woman is watching the news

When a newscaster cuts in.

"Breaking news! We have reports of a car going the wrong way through heavy traffic on I-85."

The woman knows her husband is travelling, so she calls him up.

"Honey, some idiot's driving the wrong way on I-85. Be careful, please!"

Her husband practically yells back into the phone, "Thanks sweetie, but it's not just one; there's hundreds of them!"


[NSFW] Anne recently noticed she had hair growing between her legs...

Frantic, she asks her mom what's going on.

Her mother replies, "Don't worry sweetie, the part where the hair grows is called the Monkey. Be proud that your Monkey is growing hair."

The girl sighs in relief, and later at the dinner table she smiled and told her older sister Beth, "I've got hair growing on my Monkey."

The sister laughs and replies back, "That's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."

A cow is talking to her three calves

The first calf asks "Why is my name Daisy?"

The cow replies, "When you were born, a daisy fell onto your head, sweetie."

The second calf asks "Why is my name Rose?"

The cow replies, "When you were born, a rose fell onto your head, dear."

The third calf says "Hargendflarfrebargen"

"Shut it, Cinderblock!"

Sweetie joke, A cow is talking to her three calves

What celestial body do you give your sweetie on valentines day?

An exoplanet.

Blonde woman calls her boyfriend....

"Sweetie, I'm doing this jigsaw puzzle and can't figure it out, would you come and help me?" she says.

Boyfriend comes over, and asks "What is the puzzle of?"

"A rooster", she replies miserably, gesturing towards the table, "But I can't even figure out where to start."

Boyfriend looks at the table, takes his girlfriend by the hand and says "OK, let's sit down and have a cup of tea, and then we can start putting the cornflakes back in the box."

A little girl walks into the kitchen and asks her mother . . .

"Mommy, can I have a baby?"

Her mother smiles and says, "No, sweetie. You're too young."

"Are you sure?" The little girl asks.

"Yes, I'm sure."

The little girl then goes back outside and says to her playmates, "Okay boys - same game."

Husband -Talking to wife I have a problem

Wife - how many times must i tell you that it is "we," "we have a problem".

Husband - Ok, sweetie, we have a problem. My secretary is having our baby

You can explore sweetie cheerio reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sweetie hon dad jokes. There are also sweetie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Grammar joke

I told my girlfriend "sweetie, I want you beside me, in front of me,behind me, on top of me, under me, and to the left and right of me" she said "Honey, are you prepositioning me?"

Mommy's Hair

A little girl asks her mom one day. "Mommy why do you have white hair?"

The mom thinks for a second and says, "Well, sweetie, every time you make mommy angry she grows a white hair. So don't make mommy angry."

The little girl then replies, "So Grandma..."

A little girl says to her Mother:

Girl: Mom, I'm Bleeding.

Mother: That's OK sweetie. It's just a sign you're becoming a woman.

Girl: OK I was just worried about this axe in my shoulder.

Daddy, is Santa coming tonight?

No sweetie, mommy has a headache.

My girlfriend, concerned, asked me if I'm an alcoholic. I said "Of course not sweetie."

"Alcoholics go to meetings."

Sweetie joke, My girlfriend, concerned, asked me if I'm an alcoholic. I said "Of course not sweetie."

A wife asks her husband "Honey, how many women have you slept with?"

The husband replies, "Only you sweetie. I was awake for all the other ones "

Little girl: "Mommy, I want to be a feminist when I grow up."

Mom: "Well pick one sweetie, you can't do both."

A little girl gets on the bus with her mom...

A little girl gets on the bus with her mom…

The mom pays a single adult cash fare.

The driver asks her "How old is your daughter?"

-- She's 5, answers the mother.

Now, turning to the little girl, the driver asks

-- And when will you turn 6, sweetie?

-- As soon as we get off the bus.


Marriage jok

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."

How was school today?

Mom: Hi sweetie! How was school today?

Child: Alright I guess...The teacher said I could be President someday.

Mom: (*whispering to dad*) None of the other kids like him.

The wife asks her husband

-What do you prefer, honey? A smart woman or a beautiful woman?

-Neither sweetie, you know I only have eyes for you

My teacher told me that I am unique

But when I told my mom what my teacher said she replied," Sweetie, just because you are autistic doesn't make you special".

A girl asked her blonde mom "Mom, What's 6 times 8?"

Her mom said, "Oh sweetie, those are two completely different numbers."

A mother and her child were hugging ...

"Mommy," says the child, "am I adopted?"

"No, sweetie," replied the mother. "We haven't managed to find someone who will take you."

The Flintstones

One day pebbles took a shower with Fred and Wilma. Her curiosity lead her to ask questions

Pebbles: Mama what's that between your legs?

Wilma: oh honey that's mommy's rock cutter.

Pebbles: Dada what's the between your legs?

Fred: oh sweetie that's my rock.

Pebbles: oh I get it, when daddy puts his rock into mommy's rock cutter out comes Pebbles!

I was in bed with my wife when

I was in bed with my wife when she asked "I've been with you for 3 years. Can we discuss starting a family anytime soon?" I laughed and responded "Having a baby? At your age? That's impossible!" Obviously offended, she retorted "I'm not that old!" I chuckled. "Of course not sweetie, you haven't even hit puberty yet."

"Dad, how did you come up with my brother's name, 'Legab'?"

"Is it a variation of 'Gabriel' or something?"

"Ah... no sweetie. As you know, your Mom loves bagels so we decided to play with that word".

"Oh... ok. Thanks, Dad!"

"You're welcome, Lana".

A child comes out of the bathroom and sees his mother baking a cake

"Mommy, can I lick the bowl?"
"No sweetie, you have to flush like everyone else!"

Gordon Ramsay asks his daughter

"what is your favorite movie, sweetie?"
His daughter: "Frozen"
Gordon: "F*ck me"

The husband and the wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant

A few minutes later, the dinner was served.

Husband: The food looks great. Let's eat.

Wife: But honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home.

Husband: That's at home, sweetie. I'm sure the chef here knows how to cook.

An old man is driving on the highway

An old man is driving on the highway when his wife calls.

Wife: Hey sweetie! I just watched the news and there's 1 guy driving on the wrong way on the highway. Please be careful.

Old Man: Just 1? There's dozens of them.

Dad:Look sweetie there's plenty of other fishermen in the sea.

Daughter: Don't you mean fish?

Dad: Jesus Christ! You're a lesbian!?!?

A little girl asks her grandfather why he always calls grandma "sweetie", "honey", and the like

Grandpa says "well it's because I've forgotten her name for a few years now and I'm scared to ask".

My six year old daughters first non-knock knock joke, told as a knock knock joke

Her: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: Why did the chicken climb up the ladder and back down again?
Me: Sweetie, this isn't a how knock knock jokes work.
Her: Dad, this isn't a knock knock joke
Me: Okay.....
Her: To get to the other slide

Mother, mother, ...

... how come other children need hours to solve Rubik's cube but I do it in just a few seconds?

- Well, sweetie, it's because you're color blind.

A boy asked his mother how he was conceived

Mommy, how was I born?

Mom: Well sweetie, Christmas came early

And that was how the boy learned of his father's nickname in college

Mommy, mommy, christmas tree is burning!

Sweetie, the christmas tree is shining, not burning.
Mommy, the carpet and curtains are now shining too!

Son: mom, all the kids at school tell me I have a big mouth.

Mom: oh no sweetie, don't listen to them you don't have a big mouth. Now take your shovel and finish your soup.

Would you rather eat 100 bricks or a matter baby?

What's a matter baby?
Nothing, I'm fine sweetie. How are you?

One Day A Girl Went To Eat Crawfish With Her Mother

While eating, the girl stopped and asked her mother:

These crawfish aren't going back to be with their families, won't their mothers be worried?

Her mother was shocked by the innocent but cruel question, stopped her hands too. How could anyone take any bite after this?

Luckily, the restaurant owner walked by and saved the day:

Don't worry sweetie, acutally, they ARE with their family.

A funny one from my 7 year old daughter. Knock, Knock...

Me: Who's there?

Her: Knock, Knock

Me: Who's there?

...continued five more times.

Me (agitated): Sweetie, you have to stop saying knock knock over and over again .

Her: Daddy, you're supposed to say Knock Knock who?

Me: Ohhhhhhhh. Knock Knock who?

Her: Knock Knock, I'm at your door.

Brains

A 3-year old boy is looking at his testicles in the bathtub and asks his mom, are these my brains? To which his mother reply's not yet sweetie

A woman is walking home with her three daughters.

The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mummy, how did I get my name?"

"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose".

The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.

"Well darling, when we were bringing *you* home from the hospital, a *lily* petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Lily."

The third girl asks "AAArrgghhrasfdg".

"Shhh, quiet now, Cinderblock".

My wife asks me, "Honey, how many women have you slept with?"

"Only you sweetie. I was awake for all the other ones "

Saw a little girl walk into my store today wearing a shirt that said FINISHER 2019...

I said sweetie, that's a basic achievement, FINISHER 2020 is the real achievement.

Oldie but goodie

Girl says to her mother I read better than half the other girls in my class Momma is it because I'm blonde ? Yes honey it's because you're blonde . I can run faster than most of the other girls too momma, is it because I'm blonde ? Yes honey it's because you're blonde . I have big boobies too momma, and none of the other girls have anything, is that because I'm blonde too momma ? No sweetie that's because you're 24

My aunt has three daughters

One day her three daughter run up to her mom and one of them yells
"mom!!! Why am I named rose?"
"Well sweetie, when you where born a rose pedal fell on your head"
The second daughter.
"Mommy!!!!!!!!! Why am I named violet?"
"Because when you where born a violet somehow fell on your head"
The third child.
"Djfiiiggf fiichd ajjguie fuuhsb?"
"Oh shut up brick"

What do my girlfriend and a Subway worker have in common?

Everything, my girlfriend recently got a job at Subway, I'm very proud of you sweetie

A little girl turns to her mother and asks, "What is that rasta man cooking behind us?"

The mother turns around to look and says, "I don't know sweetie. What Jamaican?"

An elderly man suspected his wife was losing her hearing

So he decided to test his suspicions. He stood about 20 feet behind her and asked, Can you hear me, my love? But she didn't respond.

So he got about 10 feet away from her and asked her again, Can you hear me, sweetie?

When she didn't say anything, he got up to 5 feet from her and asked her again, Dear, can you hear me?

She still didn't say anything so finally he crept up right behind her and said in her ear, Do you hear me?!

His wife irritably turns to him and says, For the fourth time now, yes! I can hear you!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sweetie darlin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sweetie bae piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes