Sweet Jokes
166 sweet jokes and hilarious sweet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sweet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is an article about the funniest sweet jokes for her, him, friends, wives and everyone else who loves a good laugh. Learn some of the most delicious jokes that will surely make you and your loved ones laugh out loud. Enjoy these sweet and tasty jokes and share them with your loved ones.
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Funniest Sweet Short Jokes
Short sweet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sweet humour may include short nice jokes also.
- I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
- My mom wrote this joke: What's the difference between a sweet potato fresh out of the oven and a pig thrown off a balcony? One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham
- Sweet dream are made of cheese Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody's looking for Stilton.
- Whenever I see two lovers names carved into a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I think it's shocking how many people bring a knife on a date.
- At a First Date Conversation At a first date:
He: I work with animals every day!
She: Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?
He: I'm a butcher. - I like my women like I like the mcdonald's ice cream machine… Sweet, cold and a little broken inside.
- "I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you." "That's so sweet."
"Not particularly. It was daytime." - Me: Sweet dog you got there Police officer: Yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog.
Me: Still in training, huh?
Police officer: What do you mean?
Me: Nevermind - I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice
- My wife is so sweet Every time she goes to a bar alone she gives me her wedding ring so I can think about her all night long.
Share These Sweet Jokes With Friends
Sweet One Liners
Which sweet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sweet? I can suggest the ones about soft and pleasant.
- Why was the blonde snorting Sweet and Low? She thought it was diet coke.
- I had a date tonight. It was pretty sweet. Next, I'm going to try a fig.
- Why cant diabetics have vengeance? Because vengeance is sweet.
- Vader has a pretty sweet suit. It must have cost at least an arm and a leg.
- Remember kids, if a strange man offers you sweets, There's probably more in his car!
- John Candy offered John Goodman sweets John: Candy?
John: Nah, I'm good, man. - I like my women like I like my coffee jokes. Short and sweet but enough is enough.
- What is sweet and sticky and crosses the desert? A caramel
- What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes? Sweet Pee
- What do you never tell your diabetic son? Sweet dreams.
- STDs are like sweets.... I enjoy giving them to little children
- What do you get when you order Lynyrd Skynard off of Wish.com? Sweet Home Alibaba
- What's sweet and crumbly and swings through the jungle? A meringue-atan
- I always listen to Neil Diamond during the holidays. He's got sweet carol lines.
- What do you call a lazy person who is nice? A sweet potato.
Sweet Love Jokes
Here is a list of funny sweet love jokes and even better sweet love puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- He: "I took a day off on Feb 14th". She: "Oh ! That's so sweet darling, I love you". He: "Do you think you can help me sell 2.000 flowers in one day ?"
- Sweet Baby Jokes (philanthropic concept reversal) What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
The trampoline doesn't look awfully cute in a sailor's outfit.
- I love Halloween It's the only time of the year I'm not questioned for giving out sweets to small children.
- since we live in Birmingham, I thought it would be a good idea to learn how to play home sweet Alabama on my guitar and play it for my sister. She wasn't impressed, but our kids loved it!
- One of my molars just said I'm handsome. I love having a sweet tooth.
- Sweet Wife: Do you love me.... Sweet Wife: Do you love me just because my father left a lot of money for me?
Naughty Husband: Not-at-all honey. I would love you no matter who left money for you. - Prince Charming: I will awaken her with love's sweet ki-- Sleeping Beauty: five more minutes
- Love is one long sweet dream... and marriage is the alarm clock.
- Love Versus Marriage What's the difference between love and marriage?
-Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
You Are So Sweet Jokes
Here is a list of funny you are so sweet jokes and even better you are so sweet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.
*Joke's from my Dad and his friend* - What do children and ice cream have in common? They're sweet but they sometimes give you a headache.
- Not quite what she was expecting... Guy: I work with animals every day!
Girl: That's so sweet! Are you a vet or a pet shop own-
Guy: I'm a butcher. - How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
- My daughter asked why she can't just quit school I told her it's against the law and they'll put me in jail.
My sweet sweet child looked me in the eye, and said: I'll visit you . - Seafood for thought A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. The waitress smiled sweetly and said, Once upon a time there was this handsome lobster…
- Thor: Brother! What are you doing this weekend? Loki: nothing, just hanging out
Thor: oh sweet! that sounds...
Loki: no
Thor: low key - Lisa: Mom don't do the dishes! It's your birthday! Mom: That's so sweet of you to say Lisa!
Lisa: You can do them tomorrow - I want to treat the roads with sugar instead of salt This way, you know... Everyone can have a sweet ride
- As I stood infront of the mirror, combing my hair to one side, I couldn't help but shed a tear. Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow.
Sweet And Sour Jokes
Here is a list of funny sweet and sour jokes and even better sweet and sour puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is China's favorite cat? Sweet and sour
- My Chinese neighbor just had two puppies He named them Sweet and Sour
- If genres were flavors SCI-FI would be sour, Fantasy would be sweet, Horror would be bitter, Mystery would be umami... And Erotica would be salty.
- Sour patch kids remind me of my mom. She was sour, sweet, then gone.
- Why is it called sour cream? Because sweet cream only comes from female cows.
- I like my women like my Chinese food Sweet, sour, and cheap
- what do you call an angry lemon Sweet n sour.
- women come in the same basic taste sensations or flavors as foods- sweet, salty, sour, hot, bitter, and nuts.
- Off to the Chinese takeaway tonight and I'm going to try the sweet and sour badger with special fried badger cubs. It's a sett meal for one.
- I wanna make SourPatch condoms a thing, but I don't think it'd turn out to well. Mostly because of their slogan "sour, sweet, gone".
Sweet Smelling Jokes
Here is a list of funny sweet smelling jokes and even better sweet smelling puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's colorless and smells sweet? Chloroform
SHHHH.. - Rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But I'd still be breaching my restraining order
- What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Yup... nothing like the romantic smell of buttfritters. Bought my wife a dozen for our anniversary.
- A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That rose's name? Albert Einstein.
Amusing Sweet Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about sweet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beautiful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sweet pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
No Nut November was pretty tough
Now I can finally eat nuts again, thank God I had m**... to keep my mind off of the sweet little b**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into work one morning...
A man walks into work one morning with a n**... black eye and a couple of scratches on his face. The receptionist, a young woman, notices and asks the man what happened.
"I got beat up defending my girlfriend's honor."
"Aww, that's sweet," said the receptionist, "what did your girlfriend think?"
"She couldn't believe how hard my wife could hit."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A plane is about to c**....
(Don't know if this is a repost. If it is, I didn't know.)
The pilot of a plane tells the passengers that the plane is going down.
A woman frantically gets up from her chair and announces, "All my life, I've never made sweet passionate love with a man. Before I die, I want someone to really make me feel like a woman."
Just then, a handsome man gets up from his chair. He walks down the aisle to the woman, removes his shirt,
and asks her to iron it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
BUD LIGHT AND SWEET TEA
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husbandcomes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me up." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husbandcomes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea andstart swishing it in your mouth but don't s**.... Just keep swishingand swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking freshand reborn. Woman: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husbandcame home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn'ttouch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
Sweet Dreams
"Doc, I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I was the only man in a nudist colony."
"My, my," responded the doctor. "Did you sleep well?"
"I tried," answered the patient, "but it was hard."
The Argument
A woman has had a huge argument with her husband and is on the phone having a long chat with her friend when she sees her husband returning home with a huge bouquet of flowers.
"Oh no," says the woman. "My husband's home and he's brought a huge bunch of flowers for me."
Her friend is a little surprised. "But that's so sweet of him!"
"Ugh," says the woman. "It means I have to spend all night on my back with my legs in the air."
The friend pauses for a moment. "Don't you have a vase?"
A teacher asks her class
to use the word "contagious". Roland, the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."
"Well done, Roland," says the teacher.
"Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"
Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."
Baked Beans.
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... is walking in an extermination camp with the camp manager..
"Why is there such a sweet smell in the air?" h**... asked.
"Today we're burning the diabetic" answered the manager.
Going to be Emceeing my sister's sweet 16 birthday tonight. Do you guys know any good jokes?
Just some clean jokes because there will be family there also and about 150 people in total and I cant find any amazing ones online.
Thanks
I overheard some guy tell his sweet, old grandmother a joke about click-bait at her deathbed. What happened to her as a result will change your life forever!
Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.
Stop clicking on click-bait!
(note/edit/whatever: I know this joke is a big gamble in terms of possible downvotes, but I just made it up and thought it was too good to not share with at least 1 person that might like it. Happy belated Halloween. I guess I chose trick.).
Breakfast Wife
(Overheard at work)
I was eating breakfast at a dinner with the old lady when the man at the next booth says to his wife, "Please pass the sugar, sugar".
A short time later at the booth on the opposite side of me, the man says to his wife, "Please pass the honey, honey".
Annoyed, my wife says to me "How come you never talk sweet to me like that?"
"Ok", I say, "Please pass the bacon, pig."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A duck walks into a bar
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some grapes. The bartender says, "no this is a bar. We do not sell grapes."
So the next day the duck walks into the bar and asks for some grapes. By this time the bartender gets very mad and says, "if you ask me for grapes again. I'll nail you to the bench."
The following day the duck walks in and asks for some nails and the bartender says "no."
So the duck was like oh sweet.. Got any grapes?
My boss was honest with me today.
He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend made a call during s**......
She let me know she was having a great time and she'd be home soon. Thought that was sweet.
A son asks his father
Son: Dad, what do I give my
girlfriend as a Christmas gift?
Dad : How does she look?
Son: She looks sweet, pretty, fun to be with, and even tall and also fair in complexion.
Dad : Give her my number.
A Man asks his lover in a restaurant
Man : Honey, what do you love most about me?
Woman : I love your company the most darling!
Man : Wow really? that is so sweet of you my love
Woman : Um, it's still making money right?
*edit :forgot to mention that I remember this joke from Benny Hills show, not my own joke
*edit 2 : Benny Hills not Benn, autocorrect strikes again!
What did the Nihilist whisper into his lover's ear?
Sweet Nothings.
Sweet Young Boy
One day, a boy named Tom got on a very crowded bus.
Sitting opposite him was a fat lady who said, "If you were a polite young man, you'd let someone sit down."
"If you were a polite lady," Tom replied, "you'd let FOUR people sit down!"
I'm so broke..
.. that when my Identiy was stolen today and LifeLock called me and said I now have no money in my bank account.
I was like, "Sweet! I'm no longer in debt"
My highschool sweet heart is the mother of my two children.
But apparently, my wife isn't too happy about it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During a marriage preparation class, the teacher asked how many kissable areas there are on a woman's body
o**... said, "18."
A French guy in the back yelled, "119!"
Another guy said, "12."
The French guy piped up again, "119!"
A sweet girl in the front said, "I know only one...the lips!"
The French guy shouted, "120!"
Teacher, Why are you sleeping in the class
Teacher: Why are you sleeping in the class ??
Student: Your Voice is so sweet Mam that's why
I am getting sleep.
Teacher: Then why other people are not sleeping?
Student: They are not Listening to you Mam.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sweetheart, you remind me the sea.
>Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?
No
>I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.
Not really.
>So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?
Nope.
>So what is it then?
You make me sick.
Teacher to a 4 Year old kid: What's your Mom's name?
Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time....
Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then?
Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....
A blonde is at the diner
A blonde is at a diner and when the waitress comes to take the order, the blonde reads the name tag out loud:
'Debbie, how sweet.... what do you call the other one?'
Girlfriend: Would you dump me for someone more like a trophy wife?
Me: Honey, I already have someone like that!
Girlfriend: Aww, you're too sweet!
Me: Yeah, you should meet her!
If your gunna tell a joke about a midget being smothered in honey....
Keep it short and sweet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women how I like my coffee:
Diluted and festooned with so much sweet, pretty b**... I feel like a fraud for liking them at all, yet possessed of an underlying bitterness and complexity that I secretly fear I will never truly understand or appreciate.
"Sweetheart, I'm pregnant.", "High pregnant, I'm dad!"
"Actually, you're not."
Some people tell me that I'm too sweet to be a potato...
But I just can't help it, I yam what I yam.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Society is full of double standards
For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half n**..., singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"
But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".
What does a diabetic's blood taste like?
Sweet irony
An Omegle conversation
Me: My dad died on this day in 2001, he called me to say 2 words before dying.
Stranger: Ohh, that's so sweet! What were his words?
Me: Allahu Akbar
Halloween trick or treat
I remember a story from last year. I was sat in my living room when I heard a small knock at the door. As I opened the door there was a little boy dressed as the Predator, with his dad. I asked "and who are you meant to be?" kneeling down to give him a sweet, "a child Predator" his dad responds. "What a coincidence" I thought.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A poor guy sitting in a bar
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back,
points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"
Love is sweet and sour.
Love is a funny thing. One minute you're thinking "Wow, so this is what true love feels like", and the next minute the you're banned for "eating Chick Fil A sauce provocatively".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My sister once told me I was her i**... brother
She's really sweet, despite her dyslexia.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I call the sunshine c**... company every year at this time and request they sell Cheez-its shrunk to 1/4th their original size.
I request they market them as "Sweet little baby Cheez-its."
A guy called his Ex
A guy called his Ex and told her "I missed you".
The Ex replied "Oh that's sweet, but it's over".
The guy said "Yea I know, but can you please stand closer to the window so I won't miss you again?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
She: "Wait for me darling, I just do my makeup...."
He: "Oh, you don't need makeup."
She: "How nice, you are so sweet."
He: "You need plastic surgery."
Old Lady: "Harold? What are you doing with my birth certificate at 3 in the morning?"
Old Man: "Oh, I'm just fawning over how beautiful your name is, darling."
Old Lady: "Harold! That is incredibly sweet of you!"
Old Man: "Well, what can I say? I'm incredibly lucky to have married the woman I love, and that she could have such a beautiful name as... uh..."
*squints and looks at paper*
"...Margret."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was on a date and my girl asked me to tell her something sweet.
I said "Candy."
She said "No, I mean, something I'd like."
"Shoes."
"Noooo, something s**...."
"Your sister."
What is the definition of bitter sweet?
Your Mother in law driving off a cliff in your brand new Corvette.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.
She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.
The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling f**.... Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.
Well - Mrs. Smith, it would seem that you're pregnant.
Sweet Jesus, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant, Doctor?!
Oh not at all, but at first glance, it would certainly seem so. Here's our weight loss brochure.
My friend visited me months after I moved and said sweet beard . I said...
Thanks, it's growing on me .
After 10 years of marriage, wife manage to discover 5 eggs and 5.000 euros on the cabinet.
\-Darling, I'm sorry, but I went to your office and found 5 eggs and 5.000 euros , what's the deal with it?
\-Well, how can I explain it... Since the beginning of our marriage, I would store one egg for each time you annoyed me.
\-Oh, that's so sweet! And what the 5.000 euros are for?
\-I usually wait when I have a dozen of eggs before selling then.
I don't understand what's so hard about describing a single portion of a soft and sweet baked good.
Honestly, it's a piece of cake.
My wife was so sweet yesterday, she opened the car door for me...
Unfortunately we were doing 70
What sort of girlfriend a potato wants?
A sweet potato
Alright, yeah. I'm really that desperate.
Sweet jeebus, this panda is hurt! Quick call the
bamboolance.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the sweetest thing you can say to your wife after s**...?
I am sorry i woke you up.
Yesterday, I approached a gorgeous girl, and she was pleased, which wasn't something I expected
I asked the girl for a movie.
She : "Which movie"? with a sweet smile.
Me : "You decide".
She : "No, you should decide"
Me : "No, you decide"
She : "Sir, please select which movie ticket you want. There are others behind you in the line as well"
So an electrical engineer built a house entirely out of resistors.
The welcome mat said Ohm Sweet Ohm.
On date nights, I lean over to my girlfriend, and in a sugary voice I say: null, nada, nix, naught, zilch, zero
Because she likes it when I whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
Dad on his death bed: Son, I have to tell you something
Son under his breath: I bet I'm adopted
Dad: You were ado...
Dad dies
Son: Knew it
Dad wakes up: You were adorable as a baby
Dad dies
Son: Awww, thats so sweet
Dad wakes up: That's why we adopted you
A couple is buying popcorn at the concession stand in the cinema...
Vendor: Do you want your popcorn sweet or salty?
Guy looks lovingly at his girlfriend and says: I want my popcorn like my girlfriend
Vendor: Dude, we don't sell ugly popcorn
A doctor flirted with me today, she said I was really sweet!
I think she meant I was really sweet, she worded it differently and said you're severely diabetic but I know what she meant. She said I'm type 2 and I told her she's my type too
