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Sweeping Jokes

59 sweeping jokes and hilarious sweeping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sweeping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Have you ever heard the expression "Take it with a sweep of the brush?" Discover why sweeping jokes appear in the funniest situations. From leaky dustpans to street sweeping, this profound collection of jokes will have you laughing until the dirt is done.

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Funniest Sweeping Short Jokes

Short sweeping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sweeping humour may include short swept jokes also.

  1. A wife walks in on her husband playing on his PlayStation. "The house is still filthy! I thought I asked you to sweep the house!" she says.
    "I did" replied the husband, "I found no hostiles"
  2. but I have a PhD... "Here's a broom go and sweep the floors."
    "But I have a phd..."
    "Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."
  3. I saw on the news that ignorance and apathy are sweeping the country I didn't know that, but I don't really care.
  4. My favorite winter Olympic sport is women's curling... Because it's the one time every four years I can yell, sweep harder at a woman, and no one thinks it's because I'm a sexist pig.
  5. "Here's a broom go and sweep the floors." "But I have a PhD..."
    "Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."
  6. I'm opening a new chimney sweep, soldering supplies, and dessert business. It's called Flue, Flux, Flan.
  7. The janitor had trouble with his broom After days of frustration he went to his boss and demanded sweeping reforms
  8. Everyone in Britain prefers brushes over vacuum cleaners when it comes to tidying their floors. Sorry if that's a sweeping generalisation.
  9. Did you guys hear about the new board game sweeping the Iberian peninsula? Settlers of Catalan.
  10. Romania won 4 Olympic medals this year in Tokyo. 3 of them are from either sweep or sculling. They must have a high degree of row mania over there.

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Sweeping One Liners

Which sweeping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sweeping? I can suggest the ones about wiping and breathtaking.

  1. I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations but all brooms are pretty much the same.
  2. Why did man invent curling? To convince women sweeping was a sport.
  3. A new type of broom has just been released, It is sweeping the nation.
  4. Just helped a cop sweep up some broken glass. That was my first brush with the law.
  5. Have you heard about the new broom they invented? Its sweeping the nation
  6. Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job.
  7. Just sorted out the work rota for the zoo. The lion sweeps tonight.
  8. I just watched my friend sweep a woman off her feet. He's a really aggressive janitor.
  9. Where do janitors go at night? They go to sweep.
  10. You guys hear about that new broom that came out? It's sweeping the nation!
  11. When don't you disturb a broom When it's sweeping.
  12. What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep.
  13. Did you hear about the worlds largest broom? It's really sweeping the nation
  14. I just quit my job sweeping up in a glitter factory It was pretty rubbish.
  15. The Grim Reaper and I used to share sweeping duties. I had a brush with Death.

Street Sweeping Jokes

Here is a list of funny street sweeping jokes and even better street sweeping puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • As Jeff the street sweeper says "A clean place is not where one sweeps, but where one doesn't litter" That's why he traded in his broom for a shotgun.
  • A man was born a street sweeper and dies a street sweeper. What do they say at his f**...? From ashes to ashes, to dust to dust. Sweep dreams, old friend.
Sweeping joke, A man was born a street sweeper and dies a street sweeper. What do they say at his f**...?

Sweeping joke, A man was born a street sweeper and dies a street sweeper. What do they say at his f**...?

Sweeping Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about sweeping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean raking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sweeping pranks.

Did you here about that new broom?

For the past week or so, it's been sweeping the nation.

A Jewish grandmother is walking on the beach with her grandson...

Suddenly, a rogue wave comes in and sweeps the grandson out to sea. Distraught, the grandmother looks to the sky and says, "Oh god, i have always been true and faithful to you. Please bring my grandson back." And with that, another wave comes in and deposits the grandson safely on the shore. The grandmother once again looks to the sky and says, "He had a hat."

Why did the janitor file for a divorce?

He found his wife sweeping with someone else.

Here's one for you recent graduates.

A college grad decides to get a job at a hardware store for the summer. He shows up on his first day of work and his boss hands him a broom.
"Here, your first task is to sweep out all the aisles. After that, I'll show you where the rest of the cleaning supplies are."
The grad looks at the broom and says to his boss, "I don't think you understand, I'm a college graduate."
His boss replies, "Oh, no problem. I can show you how to use a broom."

A wife asks her husband to sweep the house.

After 5 minutes she walks in on him playing video games, "I thought I asked you to sweep the house"
"It's clean", he replies, "I didn't find any hostiles"

Irishman and the fire

Firemen receive a call that the local bar is on fire. They rush over to the local bar and sure enough, the whole bar is aflame.
They sweep into the burning bar to check for survivors and find a man face down on the floor. They pull him from the flames, soot-ridden and unconscious, they slap him awake.
"What happened! How did the fire start?!" they ask him.
"How should I know?" says the Irishman. "It was already on fire when I went in.."

Two brooms are in the kitchen

The lady broom is crying and upset, she tells her boyfriend, "honey, I'm pregnant!" Her boyfriend replies, "how is that possible? We didn't even sweep together!"

I had a job interview today, so I started with some sweeping, after which I displayed my twirling, then a little peek-a-boo, and I finished with a most vigorous flapping

I don't think they were impressed with my cape abilities.

A man was at the checkout to buy a broom for his house.

He goes up to the cashier and asks if the broom he has is the best one they have. The cashier responds "im not sure i mean a broom is a broom". The man replies "whoa lets not make any sweeping generalizations here"

Why should you vote a janitor into public office?

If you want them to make sweeping changes.

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.
But I'm a college graduate! the young man replied indignantly.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that" said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how...

A guy's wife was spending a lot of time with the janitor, turns out his suspicions were correct.

He was sweeping with his wife.

The boss approaches the new employee...

...and tells him to sweep the office.
"I'm sorry but I went to Harvard" the employee replies
The boss responds "Oh, my bad. In this case I have to show you how to do this"

Have you heard of the movie about the broom?

It's sweeping the nation.

When your canals don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep past by your fleet, Will your cargo still remember the haste that I drove? Will your passage be blocked up for weeks?

'Cause, honey, your hull will always go slow, it's evergreen.

\~Capt. Ed Sheeran

My friend doesn't like to talk about her dry skin…

She'd rather just sweep it under the carpet

a Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach having a nice day

When out of nowhere, a huge wave comes and sweeps him out to sea.
She drops to her knees and pleads, "Please God, save my only grandchild. I beg of you, my life has no meaning without him. Please bring him back.
And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"

Sweeping joke, Just sorted out the work rota for the zoo.

jokes about sweeping