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Swede Jokes

54 swede jokes and hilarious swede puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about swede that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Johansson the Swede is the butt of some ridiculous jokes. Discover the story behind these funny Norwegian jokes about a Swede, vegetable, and Turk. Laugh along as we explore why Swedes have become a joke staple.

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Funniest Swede Short Jokes

Short swede jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The swede humour may include short swedish ikea jokes also.

  1. A Scandinavian joke: It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now there's just Norway, cause I always miss denmark.
  2. A French man, a German, a portuguese man and a Swede are all sitting in a bar. Normally there's also a Belgian in this joke but he's still at the Euro cup…
  3. How many Swedish people does it take to make a cake? Depends on how Swede you want it to be
  4. Did you know that Popeye the Sailor Man doesn't seem strong to the Swedes and the Norwegians? He is, however, strong to the Finnish.
  5. Whaat do you get when you cross a Swede and a Norwegian? A socialist who wants to be king!
  6. Three swedes found mysterious tracks from the forest "It is a bunny." Said the first
    "It is a rabbit." Said the second
    the third one bowed to look and a train ran over him.
  7. When I was a kid I really wanted a Great Dane But all my parents could afford was an Okay Swede.
  8. I've just seen a man in the local bookstore exchange a swede like vegetable for some hardbacks I thought, that's a turnip for the books
  9. Do you know why so many swedes believe in reincarnation? Because they are going to be Bjorn again.
  10. Apparently 2 in 5 Swedes are conceived in an IKEA bed, which is unbelievable to me, because those stores are very well lit.

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Swede One Liners

Which swede one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with swede? I can suggest the ones about danish and dutch.

  1. I bought a volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay... Swede car online!
  2. I bought a used Volvo from Neil Diamond on Autotrader.... Swede car online.
  3. Did you hear about the reincarnated Swede? He was Bjorn again.
  4. Just bought a Volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay..... Swede car online
  5. How do you describe a Swede, who's not really a Swede? Swed-ish.
  6. What do you call an investment partnership run by friendly Swedes? a Hej Fund
  7. What do you call a Swede that doesn't like modern music? Bjorn in the wrong generation.
  8. Did you hear about the viking cannibal? He had a Swede-tooth
  9. What do you call immigrants in Sweden? Swede-ish
  10. What do you get when hou bring a Greek and a Swede together? Moose-saka
  11. Why do you never meet an ugly Swede? Cause the Vikings didn't take the ugly ones.
  12. The Swedes discovered the space: IKEA is now I K E A
  13. What do you call a swede with war medals? A thief.
  14. Whats the first word a swede says after its born? wouaaa wouaaa wu wu welcome refugees
  15. What do you get if you cross a swede and a gypsy? A car thief who can't drive.

Norwegian Swede Jokes

Here is a list of funny norwegian swede jokes and even better norwegian swede puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Norwegian History The toilet seat was invented by a Swede in Minnesota, but twenty years later a North Dakota Norwegian invented the hole in it.
  • Why do Norwegians and Swedes put bar codes on their military ships? So when they dock, they can Scandinavian.
  • A Finn, Swede and Norwegian* guy went on an island Brejvik* shot them all.

Swede Vegetable Jokes

Here is a list of funny swede vegetable jokes and even better swede vegetable puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a brain dead Swede? A vegetable..
Swede joke, What do you call a brain dead Swede?

Uproarious Swede Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about swede you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sedan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make swede pranks.

In Sweden the ceo of IKEA was just elected president.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

how do you get from sweden to russia?

you cross the finnish line

Sweden runs out of trash to recycle...

... Where's PewDiePie when you need him.

Why can't Sweden win a race?

Because, it always sits right behind the Finnish line

A man is taking a walk in a park.

He sees another man sitting on a bench holding a long pole. He walks up to the man and asks, "Excuse me, are you a polevaulter?" The man replies, "No, I'm a Swede, but how did you know my name was Walter?"

What would happen if Sweden invaded the country to the East of them?

They would cross the Finnish line.

An Englishman, Scottishman, Irishman, Welshman, Frenchman, Russian, Spaniard, Mexican, American, Norweigan, Swede, Albanian, Italian, Indian, Moroccan, Dutchman, Brazilian, Kenyan, Australian and Belgian walk into a bar.

The barman says; "You can't come in here without a Thai."

A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn

A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn tried to swim from Norway to America on a dare. Ten miles from the Norwegian coast, the Swede gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. Fifty miles from the Norwegian coast, the Norwegian gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. The Finn had just caught sight of the American coast, when he sighed "I can't make it either..." and promptly swam back to Norway.

I'd like to go to Sweden

But I can't a-fjord it.

There was once a blind finn, deaf dane and a swede, who was in a wheelchair.

They found a bottle whose spirit promised everyone a wish.
The finn wished first, and soon yelled: I CAN SEE I CAN SEE!
then the dane wished, and soon yelled: I CAN HEAR I CAN HEAR!
Then the swede wished, and soon he yelled: NEW TIRES NEW TIRES!

An Englishman, and Irishman...

, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Scot, a Mexican, an, African, a Portuguese, a Swede, a German, and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
I'm sorry, says the maître'D, But you can't come in here without a Thai.

I went to Sweden to look for some Oxo Cubes.

I hear they have a really good shop there called "Stockhome".

In Sweden paternity leave is a big thing. And it is very challenging, almost every father loses 23lb in the first few weeks.

They have no idea where the baby is.

What did the Scandinavian say at his Grandmothers f**...?

She was a Swede old lady but now shes Finnish

Three guys see a European man stretching across a lawn...

The First says: "That guy looks like Swede."
The Second says: "No no no, he is definitely Italian."
The Third says: "C'mon guys! He's definitely a SpanYard!"
I'll see myself out.

When Sweden play Denmark in the World Cup the scoreboard will show SWE DEN...

I wonder what happens when Nigeria play Germany?

A swede is looking to buy some deodorant

He goes into the store and is asked would you like ball or aerosol?
Taken aback he replies I would like armpit..

A Swede and a Finn meet for a drink.

The Swede arrives and sits down at the table.
'Hello' says the Swede.
'Are we here to talk or drink?' asks the Finn

How do you trap a Swede in the bathroom?

On the left wall write: look right.
On the right wall write: look left.

Two cannibals are having a chat...

"I've become a vegetarian you know."
"But I just saw you eat that man!"
"He was a Swede"

Swede joke, Two cannibals are having a chat...

jokes about swede