Sweating Like Jokes

27 sweating like jokes and hilarious sweating like puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sweating like that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Why do we sweat? We sweat to cool down. When our body temperature rises, we sweat to help regulate it. Sweat is mostly water, but it also contains electrolytes like sodium and potassium. These help to keep our bodies hydrated and our muscles working properly.

Funniest Sweating Like Short Jokes

Short sweating like jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sweating like humour may include short sweat jokes also.

  1. People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal. But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.
  2. With a grim look on his face, my doctor told me I had onomatopoeia. Breaking in to a cold sweat, I gasped, What's that?! He whispered, It's exactly what it sounds like.
  3. date: i like a lot of music but i'm really into rock me: [trying to impress her] oh yeah me too
    date: really? what's your favorite subgenre?
    me: [visibly sweating] d-dwayne johnson
  4. People shoukd not be shamed for their kinks. I get turned on by someone who smells like musty sweat and coal. But I get called a monster, simply because I am attracted to miners.
  5. My first s**... experience was a lot like my first foot ball game. There was a lot of sweat and blood but at least my dad came.
  6. I can't stand pilates because it's too much like s**.... I sweat, muscles hurt, and then there's a woman yelling at me that I'm not doing it right.

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Sweating Like One Liners

Which sweating like one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sweating like? I can suggest the ones about sweating more than and sweaty man.

  1. Yo Mama is so fat, when she sweats, she smells like butter.
  2. I'm sweating like an anti-penne rally...
  3. Sweating like a lost goat wandering past a hungry Bedouin.
  4. I tried a fragrance called "Arizona Feeling" Smelled like sweat.
  5. Sweating like Shaq You thought I was gonna say at the free throw line didn't you.

Hilarious Sweating Like Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about sweating like you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean aching like a jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sweating like pranks.

George Bush was receiving his daily report from his Defense Secretary.

During the report, the secretary said; And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. George suddenly went pale, put his head in his hands and began to sweat profusely.
His staff was astounded. They had never seen the president react like this to such a small loss. Then, after he had recovered slightly, the president brought his head up and quietly asked the aide next to him, "Just how many in a brazilian?"

How are you doing? the doctor asked, as his pregnant patient gasped, sweated, and panted in pain...

She could not even get a sentence out, so great was her discomfort:
"I don't!..... [gasp]... can't!......[grunt] ... don't!..... [cry]..."
"Hmmmm. Sounds like your contractions are a few seconds apart."

General approaches the Bugler

The General went to the company Bugler.
I understand that you're something of a composer. One of my senior officers has been run over by a tank, and I'd like you to write a f**... dirge for him.
No sweat.
What key will you compose it in?
It would be fitting to use A flat major.

"You are what you eat," they say... Oh really???

If so, then my spaghetti is fabulous and incredibly smart, made of extra-ordinary wheat with its own weird sense of humor, dancing salsa when nobody's watching and sweating its little spaghetti pants off while doing calisthenics.
I will never e**... spaghetti the same way ever again...
What's your pasta like? ;)

A nerd was walking home from the comic book store and tripped over a green lantern.

He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. "Three wishes, kid. You know the drill." The kid thought about it for only a second and said, "I want to be just like Batman." "No sweat," said the genie, "I'll be back for your two other wishes after I'm finished with your parents."

I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard.
I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.

Mr. Janus and Mr. Rodick are co-workers.

They had both decided to go to the bar after work. At the bar, they meet another guy named Bob. Bob goes up to Mr. Janus and asks, "What's your name?"
"You can call me Mr. Janus."
Then Bob says, "I'd prefer to use a first-name basis, it's more casual. What's your first name"
By this point Mr. Janus is sweating like crazy, he doesn't answer, but then his buddy Mr. Rodick interupts, "It's Hugh, Hugh Janus!"
Both Bob and Mr. Rodick are now laughing like crazy, Hugh is really upset, so he stares Mr. Rodick in the eye and says, "Shut up Mike!"

First Date

Years back, before electronic car door locks, there were two brothers, Andy and Oby. Andy was 4 years older than 16 year old Oby. Oby had never been on a date and wanted to take out a girl he had met. So...he asked Andy for advice. "I want to take this girl out for a walk and I just don't know what to do or say" Andy told him "It's easy. Just compliment her and everything will fall into place". "What do you mean" asked Oby. Andy told him to compliment her on her hair "your hair is like silk", her teeth "your teeth are like pearls", her eyes "your eyes are like sapphires", etc.
So Oby take her for a walk, and comes home with a black eye. Andy asked him what happened. Oby says: "Well, I tried to compliment her on her hair, but she didn't have much, and not many teeth either. Her eyes were one blue and one brown like some dogs, and I didn't know what to say about that, so...I said for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much!"

One of my grandpa's best Jokes

A young boy is on vacation in the Sahara desert with his family.
As they are gazing out across the sand, they notice a man walking around... carrying a car door.
"Hey! Why are you carrying that car door around in the desert?" asked the young boy.
The man looked over the family, wiped the sweat off his brow, and said;
"Well, when it gets hot I can put the window down."
My grandpa tells a lot of jokes like this, I will try to remember all of them and submit them here. He is 89 years old and still hand-turns the soil in his garden each year, he also built a large wooden trellis for his tomato plants. His jokes are starting to "grow whiskers" as my grandma says.

A woman is traveling in an airplane..

All of a sudden the airplanes engine stalls. "The plane is going down. I repeat, the plane is going down!" The Pilot announces,
The woman starts to panic. "No! No! I can't die like this! I've been single for 15 years! I need a man to make me feel like a woman one last time!"
A very handsome man from the front of the plane stands up. "I can help you with that." He starts slowly walking toward her.
She is shocked at how s**... he is, and starts to tingle and sweat. He keeps walking toward her, slowly taking off his shirt one button at a time.
She rips her shirt off and pulls her skirt down. Exposing her bra and p**.... "Oh yes." She says.
He approaches her, unbuttons his last button, and takes off his shirt, revealing a washboard set of abs. He tosses her the shirt and says, "Iron this, woman."

There's this penguin...

There's this penguin, driving through the South, the Deep South... late August. The hot months. "Ew! But it sure is hot!" the penguin lisped from behind the wheel of his choking jalopy.
Suddenly! The jalopy fails the penguin and he has to push it down a bumpy road to the next small town. He got out, and with all his strength in his weak flippers, he pushed the car over hill and dale.
"Whew!" he sighed.
As luck would have it, there was a mechanic in town, and he told the penguin that he'd have to spend some time with the car. "Why don't you come back in an hour or so?"
Wiping the sweat from his brow, the penguin espied an ice cream shoppe! "Hurray and yippy!" he cried! "I'll be back, toot sweet!" he said.
He ordered the tallest vanilla ice cream he could hold between his vestigial wings... those miserable fins could barely manage the scoops upon scoops of creamy goodness. The cone was so tall that more of it ended up on the penguin than in him!
"Yummy! That was very very good!" the penguin said, smacking his lips.
He waddled back to the mechanic who was ready to give the little fellow an update. The mechanic looked at the penguin sternly. The gaskets and seals on the engine were severely damaged after years of driving without a routine check, and it was certainly going to be expensive.
"Well, it looks like you blew a seal."
"Oh no, that's just ice cream!" the penguin said, wiping the ice cream from his chin.