The Best 43 Swam Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Swam jokes. There are some swam mainland jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these swam pool puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Swam Jokes and Puns

My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her.

Instead I just swam for the surface.

Mental Hospital

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

I need the second part to this joke. "What did the fish say when it swam in to the wall?" -- Don't upvote this thread.

I know the first part is "Dam." But there's a second part of the joke that one of my old coworkers told me.

What did the fish behind it say?

It was some sort of pun or play on words. I can't remember it for the life of me. Anyone heard the second part?

Swam joke, I need the second part to this joke. "What did the fish say when it swam in to the wall?" -- Don't u

Did you hear about the man with no arms or legs that swam the English channel?

What a cleverdick...

I got in a lot of trouble on a date recently because I didn't open the car door for her

Instead I just swam up to the surface


A blonde was attempting to swim across the English channel.

But she got tired halfway, and swam back.

Jim and Mary.

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

Swam joke, Jim and Mary.

Two Sail fish...

Two sail fish was swimming along. One got attacked, lost it's sail, and swam around for days depressed. The other, seeing his friends unhappiness decided to give him his. So his friend said to him: "You're so unselfish."
I admit, it isn't that good, but if it gets a chuckle, I'll be happy.

What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by?

Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here?

Please, this is a cry for help.

Just a Blonde joke from my childhood

Three girls, a blonde, brunette, and a ginger were having a competition to see who could swim the furthest across a lake.

The red head went first, she swam 1/4th of the way across and back.

The brunette went next, she swam 1/3rd of the way across and back.

Finally, it was the blondes turn, she swam half way across and back.

The distance this fish swam...

Is a SCALER not a vector.

You can explore swam reef reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean swam waded dad jokes. There are also swam puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A blonde, a redhead and a brunette stranded on an island...

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 25 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

What did they call Hitler when he swam?

Adolfin

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck

As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.

We are family, even though you're fatter than me

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me." -

What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Dam.

Swam joke, What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck

Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck, a redhead, brunette and a blonde. The nearest civilization was a 40 mile swim away. The redhead swam 10 miles and drowned. The brunette swam 15 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 20 miles, became exhausted and decided she wouldn't be able to make the rest of the swim; so she swam back.

A swami needed his teeth fixed, but refused Novocaine.

He wished to transcend dental medication.

A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn

A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn tried to swim from Norway to America on a dare. Ten miles from the Norwegian coast, the Swede gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. Fifty miles from the Norwegian coast, the Norwegian gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. The Finn had just caught sight of the American coast, when he sighed "I can't make it either..." and promptly swam back to Norway.


Why do seals swim in salt water?

Because if they swam in pepper water they'd do nothing but sneeze all day

Why did the egg fry?

Because the dog swam

An East Indian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, has swam with sharks, has wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was...

Bindair Dundat

A fish swam passed another and said isn't it lovely water today!

The other fish just kept swimming and said to himself, what's water?

What did the whale say when he swam into the wall?

"Dam!"

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam.

Sorry for the probable repost, haven't been here long.

My girlfriend was mad because I didn't open the car door for her.

I just swam to the surface.

My wife isn't speaking to me because I didn't open the car door for her...

I guess I just panicked and swam to the surface.

Kid 1: My gym teacher swam half way across the English channel but had to turn back

Kid 2: Why only half way?

Kid 1: Well he was became tired.

I went out with a girl the other night but I don't think I'll be seeing her again because I didn't open her door

I just swam to the surface

What did the beaver say when he swam into a wall?

Dam it

I made some fish tacos tonight.

But they ignored the tacos and just swam away.

Happy cake day to me!

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are trapped on a deserted island 50 miles away from the nearest coast.

The red head decides to swim. She made it 10 miles, then drowned. The brunette also decides to swim. She made it 20 miles then drowned. Finally, the blonde decides to swim. She made it 25 miles, then she got tired and swam back to the island

There was an island 100 meters away

I swam 50 meters and got tired so I swam back.

Not good at relationships

My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her... instead, I swam up to the surface.

There was a blonde...

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

I made some fish tacos last night...

They just swam away and ignored them.

I made some fish tacos

but they just ignored them and swam away.

A man and his friend were talking about their New Year's Resolutions.

Friend: I heard you set some really tough resolutions, have you completed them?


Man: Well of course! I've swam across the Pacific Ocean in only speedos.


Friend: Neat.


Man: Scaled Mount Everest naked!


Friend, a bit skeptical: Really?


Man: Well, there is one I still haven't completed.


Friend: And that is?


Man: Break my habit of lying......

Last night I made fish tacos

They looked at them and just swam away.

There was a blonde , a redhead and a brunette

They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
**The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.**
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
**The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.**

Two fish swam into a concrete wall. One looked to the other an said…

Dam .

I made some fish tacos today

They must not be hungry because they just swam away.

I made fish tacos today

But they ignored them and swam away…

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the swam miraculously jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working swam lifeboat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes