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Swallow Jokes

148 swallow jokes and hilarious swallow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about swallow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you know a good swallow joke? This article dives into the world of joke-telling about swallows and their relatives, exploring barn swallows, cockatoo, the art of spitting and swallowing, and how digestion works. Get ready to laugh, even if you're a birdwatcher and not a comedian!

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Popular Swallow Short Jokes

Short swallow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The swallow humour may include short chew jokes also.

  1. I accidentally swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
  2. This is a bit wordy… I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles, and now I'm experiencing some unexpected vowel movements. The next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
  3. I swallowed some food coloring the other day. I'll be alright, but it feels like I dyed a little inside.
  4. I got drunk last night and swallowed some scrabble tiles Next trip to the toilet could spell disaster..
  5. The new girl at work slapped me today because I asked if she spits or swallows... It seemed like a perfectly reasonable question, considering we work as wine tasters...
  6. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next vowel movement could spell disaster.
  7. I swallowed some food coloring once I went to the doctor and he said I was fine, but I felt like I had dyed a little inside.
  8. If a blue bird has blue babies And a red bird has red babies
    What bird has no babies?
    Swallows
  9. If storks deliver white babies and blackbirds deliver black babies, what bird delivers no babies? Swallows.
  10. Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

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Swallow One Liners

Which swallow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with swallow? I can suggest the ones about swim and spit out.

  1. I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles My next dump could spell disaster
  2. Crows make black babies. Doves make white babies. What makes no babies? Swallows.
  3. My son swallowed several coins the other day. I've definitely seen some change in him.
  4. I swallowed two cans of helium today HeHe
  5. I put a load in the dishwasher She swallowed.
  6. Eating popcorn is hella gay.... .....you're just swallowing a busted nut.
  7. My kid swallowed a torch today... It's ok - it was removed and now he's delighted.
  8. What happens when a lion becomes a cannibal? He swallows his pride...
  9. People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus... It's what's inside that counts...
  10. I swallowed a watch.. And now I'm just looking for a way to pass the time
  11. I'd be very scared if I swallowed a cup of cement I'd be shittin' brick
  12. I swallowed some food coloring earlier. I think I dyed a little inside.
  13. I just swallowed a mood ring. Not quite sure how I feel about it...
  14. What do you call a Bull that has swallowed a grenade? Abominable.
  15. Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint! Never mind, I'm cool now.

Swallow Bird Jokes

Here is a list of funny swallow bird jokes and even better swallow bird puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Storks bring babies, but do you know what type of birds prevent babies? Swallows...
  • If black birds have black babies and blue birds have blue babies, what kind of birds have no babies? Swallows.
  • Who are the prostitutes of the bird world? Swallows
  • If one stork brings one baby and two storks brings two babies, what bird brings no babies? Two swallows.
  • If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies? A s**...
  • If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies? A s**....
  • If a stork is the bird that brings babies, then what is the bird that prevents babies? A s**...
  • If the stork is the bird of birth, what's the bird of birth control? A s**....
  • What kind of bird doesn't get pregnant? A s**...
  • What kind of bird does not make babies? A s**...

Spit Or Swallow Jokes

Here is a list of funny spit or swallow jokes and even better spit or swallow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Johnny's mother called his father at work... "Johnny just swallowed a nickle and spit up two dimes, what do I do??"
    "Keep feeding him nickles!"
  • The only thing worse than her spitting on your grave... ...is her swallowing on it.
  • What's the difference between spitting, swallowing and gargling? Love, true love, expert technique.
  • Emily Blunt will star in a new crime movie where she hunts down hitmen who keep swallowing their targets and spitting out bigger versions of themselves. It's titled Agario.
  • What's the difference between a feminist and a Roomba? A Roomba actually swallows instead of spitting out
  • What ends a swallows life? A spit.
  • 2 year old son spits on the floor. Wife: We don't spit. If it's in your mouth you s**... it.
    Husband raises eyebrows.
    Wife: You shut up!
  • I just got slapped by a girl for asking her, "Do you spit or s**...?" I thought this was a very reasonable question to ask her, considering we were at a wine tasting session.
  • Why did Princess Leia spit and not s**...? Because it was Chewy
  • What's the difference between like and love ? A Spit and a s**...
Swallow joke, What's the difference between like and love ?

Swallow joke, What's the difference between like and love ?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about swallow can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of swallow puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Heartwarming Swallow Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about swallow you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean choking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make swallow prank.

Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the c**...?

Because it's waaay easier to s**...

What do you call a stork that doesn't bring babies?

A s**...

What kind of bird is the best pornstar?

A s**....

Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin?

cause s**... was too obvious.

What kind of mint is the hardest to s**...?

Abandonment.

BUD LIGHT AND SWEET TEA

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husbandcomes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me up." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husbandcomes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea andstart swishing it in your mouth but don't s**.... Just keep swishingand swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking freshand reborn. Woman: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husbandcame home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn'ttouch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

I have a friend who everyone knows is gay but he won't admit it.

He'll s**... everything but his pride.

Mr. and Mrs. Blip-Blop

Mr. and Mrs. Blip-Blop were lying in bed one night. Mrs. Blip-Blop turns to Mr. Blip-Blop and says,
"Blip-Blop, blippity bloppity blop. Blip blippity blop bloppy blop." Mr. Blip-Blop replies,
"Geez, hon; just s**... it."

At least she didn't say s**....

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says: "Spit your gum out." the other says:
"Chew Chew."
/Badum cshhhh

The thing about bird jokes are...

sometimes they're hard to s**....
Owl let myself out.

It takes a long time for a giraffe...

...to s**... its pride.

Latvian joke.

I tell Latvian joke:
Latvian man very hungry.
He go in minefield, look for potato feed family.
Many hours, he suddenly find big potato, size of fist!
He quickly pull out pin, put in mouth, s**... whole thing.
Then he say "But why was there pin in potat "
End from joke.

I blow, but I don't s**.... I whip, but don't do chains. Some watch me and feel proud, while others feel ashamed. What am I?

I am a flag.

They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they're desperate for food.

They just have to s**... their pride.

Friend at work hit me with this. (Sorry if repost.)

If a Stork brings white babies, and a Crow brings black babies. What brings no babies?
The s**....

Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't s**... their pride.

A woman asks her husband what type of bird makes for the sexiest Halloween costume

"Should I be a spotted b**...?", asks the woman.
"Or what about a spread pink Flamingo?" "...Neither" replies the man. "If you really want men to like you, you need to be some sort of s**...."

What is the official bird of love?

The s**....

If you ever see a woman drinking a Corona...

...you should ask her out immediately, because you know she'll s**... anything.

If a stork makes white babies, and a crow makes black babies, what makes no babies?

A s**...

A man sees his dog chew up and s**... a pencil

Concerned, he immediately phones the vet.
"Doctor, my dog just chewed up and swallowed my pencil! What should i do?"
"Hmm...that sounds serious. You better bring him to me. I'll see you within a half hour."
"Yes, doctor, but what should I do in the meantime?"
"Use a pen."

Ever since I swallowed a watch I've been keeping myself busy taking laxitives, eating lots of fruit and drinking prune juice.

Anything to pass the time.

A stork will always bring a baby.....

But a s**... never will

What is President Clinton's favourite game?

s**... the leader.

What is a huge benefit of dating an Ethiopian girl?

You know they'll s**...

What's a sharks favorite game?

s**... the leader.
*This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...

So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.
If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies, a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?
A s**...!

Your momma so s**......

...her spirit animal is the s**....

I'm glad my mom is such a bad cook

If my date can eat her meatloaf with a smile, I know they'll s**... anything.

What did the cannibalistic lion do?

s**... his pride.

What is the hardest part about admitting you are a gay lion?

Having to s**... your pride.

She asked me for breakfast in bed...

I said "maybe you should s**... next time."

If the bird of peace if the dove, what's the bird of love?

The s**....

Why did the emo s**... an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

A stork brings a baby to a couple...

...but a s**... takes one away.

The bird of Love is the dove, but what's the bird of true love?

A s**...

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, s**... this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2017 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

What's white and hard for women to s**...?

A volleyball

What kind of tea can be hard to s**...?

Reality.

Dad how are babies made?

Dad: Daddy plants a seed in mums tummy.
Daughter: Does mummy s**... the seed?
Dad: Only if she wants new shoes

A frog and his froggy son go to a restaurant...

The young frog has been having trouble eating food, and not much seemed to help. The two are eating, and the little frog manages to s**... something without any issues! The father frog notices that the son didn't upchuck. Beaming with pride, the father frog grins over at his son.
"Ah, son! Your fly is down!"

I swallowed some Scrabble tiles earlier.

I am not looking forward to my next vowel movement.

What's the hardest tea to s**...

Reality

Martin Shkreli's guilty verdict

Must be a tough pill for him to s**....

I was forced to s**... purple food color.

I feel violated.

Why don't w**... like judges ?

Because they issue gag orders and the outcome is hard to s**....

If the Stork brings good babies, and the Crow brings bad babies, what brings no babies?

The s**....

If a stalk brings good babies. A crow brings bad babies. What bird brings no babies?

A s**...

I swallowed my money.

Just to be safe.

If the Swan symbolizes happiness, what bird symbolizes true love?

The s**....

A blonde woman is at the doctor's office

Blonde: I can't pregnant!
Doctor: Okay, how often do you and your boyfriend have s**...?
Blonde: Every night!
Doctor: Do you use any sort of protection?
Blonde: No. And I even s**... every time.

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes a long time for them to s**... their pride.

I just swallowed a dictionary...

It gave me thesaurus t**... I've ever had,

Two swallows are talking:

"It will rain."
"How do you know?"
"Humans stare at us."

A little girl asked her dad where babies come from.

Dad: "The daddy plants a seed in the mommy."
Little girl: "Does she s**... the seed?"
Dad: "Only if she wants a new dress."

My girlfriend warned me she would break up if I didn't stop making o**... s**... jokes.

I said "That's hard to s**...."

If the Swan symbolizes happiness, then what bird symbolizes True Love?

The s**...

I swallowed a penny, and then vomited it afterwards,

Because change should come from within.

I was fishing when I ran out of bait. I saw a small snake nearby trying to s**... a frog and knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket...

Now, the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit, so I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp.
I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.
It was that snake, with two more frogs...

My barber told me to put a ball in my mouth

My barber told me to put a ball in my mouth so he could a get a closer shave on my cheek.
I asked him "what happens if I accidentally s**... the ball?"
He replied " you can bring it back tomorrow just like everybody else who does "

People tell me to stop making puns, but I can't

Every time I try to s**... my words, I joke on them.

If a Dove is the 'Bird Of Peace' then what's the 'Bird Of True Love'?

The s**...

If a stork delivers babies what bird prevents them?

A s**....

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to s**...?

Reality.

If a dove is a bird of peace, what is a bird of true love?

A s**....

I tried swallowing a tablet without water before

And I have to say it wasn't easy or even the best of decisions. Everyone at the Samsung store seems to agree.

If a stork delivers babies, what bird stops babies from being delivered?

A s**...

I once swallowed a whole dictionary....

...it gave me thesaurus t**... I ever had.

Swallow joke, I once swallowed a whole dictionary....

jokes about swallow

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these swallow jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.