The Best 78 Swallow Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Swallow jokes. There are some swallow eat jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these swallow absorb puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Swallow Jokes and Puns

Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the condom?

Because it's waaay easier to swallow

What do you call a stork that doesn't bring babies?

A swallow

Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin?

cause Swallow was too obvious.

Swallow joke, Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin?

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

BUD LIGHT AND SWEET TEA

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husbandcomes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me up." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husbandcomes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea andstart swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishingand swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking freshand reborn. Woman: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husbandcame home drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn'ttouch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"


I have a friend who everyone knows is gay but he won't admit it.

He'll swallow everything but his pride.

Mr. and Mrs. Blip-Blop

Mr. and Mrs. Blip-Blop were lying in bed one night. Mrs. Blip-Blop turns to Mr. Blip-Blop and says,
"Blip-Blop, blippity bloppity blop. Blip blippity blop bloppy blop." Mr. Blip-Blop replies,
"Geez, hon; just swallow it."

Swallow joke, Mr. and Mrs. Blip-Blop

The thing about bird jokes are...

sometimes they're hard to swallow.

Owl let myself out.

It takes a long time for a giraffe...

...to swallow its pride.

Latvian joke.

I tell Latvian joke:

Latvian man very hungry.

He go in minefield, look for potato feed family.

Many hours, he suddenly find big potato, size of fist!

He quickly pull out pin, put in mouth, swallow whole thing.

Then he say "But why was there pin in potat "

End from joke.

I just got slapped by a girl for asking her, "Do you spit or swallow?"

I thought this was a very reasonable question to ask her, considering we were at a wine tasting session.

You can explore swallow swallower reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean swallow chew dad jokes. There are also swallow puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A Swallow.

I blow, but I don't swallow. I whip, but don't do chains. Some watch me and feel proud, while others feel ashamed. What am I?

I am a flag.

They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they're desperate for food.

They just have to swallow their pride.

Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't swallow their pride.

A woman asks her husband what type of bird makes for the sexiest Halloween costume

"Should I be a spotted boobie?", asks the woman.
"Or what about a spread pink Flamingo?" "...Neither" replies the man. "If you really want men to like you, you need to be some sort of swallow."

Swallow joke, A woman asks her husband what type of bird makes for the sexiest Halloween costume

What is the official bird of love?

The Swallow.

I swallowed two cans of helium today

HeHe

I swallowed a watch..

And now I'm just looking for a way to pass the time


If you ever see a woman drinking a Corona...

...you should ask her out immediately, because you know she'll swallow anything.

If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?

A swallow

Why did Princess Leia spit and not swallow?

Because it was Chewy

I swallowed some food coloring earlier.

I think I dyed a little inside.

I swallowed some food coloring the other day. I'll be alright, but it feels like I dyed a little inside.

If a stork makes white babies, and a crow makes black babies, what makes no babies?

A Swallow

A man sees his dog chew up and swallow a pencil

Concerned, he immediately phones the vet.

"Doctor, my dog just chewed up and swallowed my pencil! What should i do?"

"Hmm...that sounds serious. You better bring him to me. I'll see you within a half hour."

"Yes, doctor, but what should I do in the meantime?"

"Use a pen."

A stork will always bring a baby.....

But a swallow never will

What is President Clinton's favourite game?

Swallow the leader.

What is a huge benefit of dating an Ethiopian girl?

You know they'll swallow

What kind of bird does not make babies?

A swallow

Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...

So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.

If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies, a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?

A Swallow!

Your momma so slutty...

...her spirit animal is the swallow.

I'm glad my mom is such a bad cook

If my date can eat her meatloaf with a smile, I know they'll swallow anything.

What did the cannibalistic lion do?

Swallow his pride.

What is the hardest part about admitting you are a gay lion?

Having to swallow your pride.

She asked me for breakfast in bed...

I said "maybe you should swallow next time."

If the bird of peace if the dove, what's the bird of love?

The swallow.

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

NSFW: Do you spit or swallow?

I was out on a date with this girl, when I asked her, Do you spit or swallow?
She slapped my face and stormed off… I'm never taking anyone to wine tasting again!!

A stork brings a baby to a couple...

...but a Swallow takes one away.

The bird of Love is the dove, but what's the bird of true love?

A swallow

2 year old son spits on the floor.

Wife: We don't spit. If it's in your mouth you swallow it.
Husband raises eyebrows.
Wife: You shut up!

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."

2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2017 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

I swallowed some food coloring once

I went to the doctor and he said I was fine, but I felt like I had dyed a little inside.

What kind of tea can be hard to swallow?

Reality.

Dad how are babies made?

Dad: Daddy plants a seed in mums tummy.
Daughter: Does mummy swallow the seed?
Dad: Only if she wants new shoes

A frog and his froggy son go to a restaurant...

The young frog has been having trouble eating food, and not much seemed to help. The two are eating, and the little frog manages to swallow something without any issues! The father frog notices that the son didn't upchuck. Beaming with pride, the father frog grins over at his son.

"Ah, son! Your fly is down!"

If the stork is the bird of birth, what's the bird of birth control?

A swallow.

I swallowed some Scrabble tiles earlier.

I am not looking forward to my next vowel movement.

What's the hardest tea to swallow

Reality

Martin Shkreli's guilty verdict

Must be a tough pill for him to swallow.

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

If the Stork brings good babies, and the Crow brings bad babies, what brings no babies?

The Swallow.

I swallowed my money.

Just to be safe.

If the Swan symbolizes happiness, what bird symbolizes true love?

The Swallow.

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes a long time for them to swallow their pride.

I just swallowed a dictionary...

It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had,

A little girl asked her dad where babies come from.

Dad: "The daddy plants a seed in the mommy."

Little girl: "Does she swallow the seed?"

Dad: "Only if she wants a new dress."

My girlfriend warned me she would break up if I didn't stop making oral sex jokes.

I said "That's hard to swallow."

I swallowed a penny, and then vomited it afterwards,

Because change should come from within.

I was fishing when I ran out of bait. I saw a small snake nearby trying to swallow a frog and knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket...

Now, the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit, so I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp.

I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.

It was that snake, with two more frogs...

People tell me to stop making puns, but I can't

Every time I try to swallow my words, I joke on them.

If a stork delivers babies what bird prevents them?

A swallow.

I just swallowed a mood ring.

Not quite sure how I feel about it...

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality.

If a dove is a bird of peace, what is a bird of true love?

A swallow.

If a stork is the bird that brings babies, then what is the bird that prevents babies?

A swallow

I once swallowed a whole dictionary....

...it gave me thesaurus throat I ever had.

Doctor says I have to stop eating the skin of oranges

That was a bitter peel to swallow

My new party trick...

I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together.

I shit you knot.

Tetanus isn't actually caused by rusty objects, but by bacteria in dirt, which we often associate with rusty nails and tools that can introduce the bacteria through wounds.

This is why tetanus vaccines are so important. For anti-vaxxers, that truth could be hard to swallow.

Any appreciation for lockjaw puns?

Which kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What's the difference between like and love ?

A Spit and a Swallow

I asked her, "Do you spit or swallow?"

# She slapped me and stormed off!

### Anyway, I don't recommend wine tastings as a first date, it really seems to bother some girls for some reason.

I'm man enough to swallow tablets without water.

The downside is that I'm not allowed in Samsung stores anymore.

A man in California spent 3 months, 2 weeks, 5 days and 19 hours, sculpting and carving the biggest replica Aspirin tablet for the Guinness Book of World Records.... only to find out there was still one bigger and his was second place.

That must have been a hard pill to swallow.

Super bowl time! Can YOU pass a football?

am surprised you could even swallow one!

One day I convinced my brother to swallow a torch

It was worth it just to see his little face light up

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the swallow strep jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working swallow spits piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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