swallow Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious swallow puns

A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow


-wow thanks for the upvotes and gold

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A sperm cell contains about 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25ml, and takes about 5 seconds. This makes the average bandwidth of the human penis 1687 TB/sec

I know, that's a lot of information to swallow.

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A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow...

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If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?

A swallow

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I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

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If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A Swallow.

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I once swallowed two pieces of string and an hour later they came out of my ass tied together.

I shit you knot.

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If a stork brings white babies and a crow brings black babies, what type of bird brings no babies?

A swallow

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If the stork is the bird of birth, what's the bird of birth control?

A swallow.

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If the Stork brings good babies, and the Crow brings bad babies, what brings no babies?

The Swallow.

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What did the cannibalistic lion do?

Swallow his pride.

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Me: *swallows pride*

Baby lion: holy shit

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I swallowed two cans of helium today

HeHe

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A stork brings a baby to a couple...

...but a Swallow takes one away.

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Your momma so slutty...

...her spirit animal is the swallow.

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If a white bird makes white babies and a black bird makes black babies, what bird makes no babies?

A swallow

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I just swallowed a dictionary...

It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had,

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I just swallowed a whole box of scrabble pieces...

My next shit could spell disaster

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I swallowed some food coloring the other day. I'll be alright, but it feels like I dyed a little inside.

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What is the hardest part about admitting you are a gay lion?

Having to swallow your pride.

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What is a huge benefit of dating an Ethiopian girl?

You know they'll swallow

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They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they're desperate for food.

They just have to swallow their pride.

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I swallowed two bits of string yesterday.

When they came out the other end they were tied together. I shit you knot!

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Drug Store Robber

A man was in need of some quick cash, and so he decided to turn to thievery. He grabbed his gun and visited 5 different drug stores, stealing over 5,000 pills of Viagra. The next day, while preparing to sell the pills, the man's house was surrounded by police. With no place to go, the man decided to swallow the evidence. He is now facing 20 years of hard time.

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What kind of bird does not make babies?

A swallow

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Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

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2 year old son spits on the floor.

Wife: We don't spit. If it's in your mouth you swallow it.
Husband raises eyebrows.
Wife: You shut up!

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If a stork makes white babies, and a crow makes black babies, what makes no babies?

A Swallow

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Whales

So, there are two whales swimming around, when they see a boat. The first whale says, "Hey, let's go blow that boat over!" The second whale replies, "Alright, let's go." So the two whales blow the boat over, sending the crew members overboard. Then the first whale gets an idea, "We should go eat those crew members!" The second whale, disgusted, says, "Nah man, I'm always up for the occasional blowjob, but I never swallow the seamen."

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I swallowed some food coloring once

I went to the doctor and he said I was fine, but I felt like I had dyed a little inside.

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A man sees his dog chew up and swallow a pencil

Concerned, he immediately phones the vet.

"Doctor, my dog just chewed up and swallowed my pencil! What should i do?"

"Hmm...that sounds serious. You better bring him to me. I'll see you within a half hour."

"Yes, doctor, but what should I do in the meantime?"

"Use a pen."

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A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."


2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2017 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

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What kind of tea can be hard to swallow?

Reality.

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What's the hardest tea to swallow

Reality

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Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't swallow their pride.

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What are the most funny Swallow jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Swallow? Well, here are the best Swallow dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Swallow pick up lines to share with friends.

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