sustenance Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious sustenance puns

Two men are lost in the desert

Two men are lost in the desert. They are both severely dehydrated and extremely hungry. While stumbling over a particularly large sand dune, one man spots a tin of fig-flavored altoids.
Desperate for any sustenance, he stumbles ahead and grabs the tin, but realizes it was only a mirage.

He turned to the man behind him and said, "I guess it was just a fig mint of my imagination."


An Olympic swimmer... on a cruise ship, when it hits a reef and sinks. Bobbing in the waves, he spies an island in the distance, makes for it, and barely gets ashore. All he finds on the isle are fruit trees, a female sheep and a big dog. The fruit trees provide sustenance, but he starts to feel lonely. The sheep has luxurious fur, beautiful eyes and long lashes that she shyly bats at him. When he approaches her, the dog viciously attacks and repels him. This goes on for months, until he can hardly bear it.

One day he sees another ship sinking at sea. Swimming out, he sees a woman thrashing in the waves. He saves her as she's about to perish, and hauls her ashore. As luck would have it, she's absolutely gorgeous.

"I'm so grateful to you for saving my life...I'll do anything you ask, as a way to repay you."

The swimmer can't believe his luck. "Anything?"

The young woman smiles coyly. "Anything your heart desires."

"Can you take that big dog over there for a walk?"


Do you know how Edam was invented?

One day a candle maker in Yorkshire was halfway through making a large batch of red candles.

He had been working without a break for many hours, so his wife bought him a plate of cheese for sustenance.

He was so keen to finish working he ignored the food and continued to be engrossed in his labours.

All of a sudden he let out a mighty sneeze and sent the hot red wax flying.

He opened his eyes, and saw that it had completely covered his cheese supper. He cried out in anguish... EEEE DAMN!

(All credit of this joke goes to my father close to 30 years ago... I believed this was a true story for far longer than I will own up to)


Germany be like "SCREW RUSSIA..."

But give me some tasty sustenance from that pipeline babe


What are the most funny Sustenance jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Sustenance? Well, here are the best Sustenance dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Sustenance pick up lines to share with friends.


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