Suspiciously Jokes
37 suspiciously jokes and hilarious suspiciously puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about suspiciously that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Suspiciously Short Jokes
Short suspiciously jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suspiciously humour may include short suspected jokes also.
- Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious
- Over 99.99% of people that took the vaccine for the 1918 Spanish flu have passed away. This seems very suspicious to me!
- I'm pretty sure God is a Black Woman Who else would be a single parent whose Son was killed by the authorities under suspicious circumstances?
- My bank just called me about suspicious activity on my account. They didn't believe I bought a gym membership.
- North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder... ...Is Kim Jong ill?
- Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
- My daughter is making graphs for her math homework. Awfully suspicious... Pretty sure she's plotting something.
- I meet a bishop at good friday mass today, but I'm a little suspicious. He wasn't moving diagonally.
- A German, an American and a Russian...... A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them suspiciously and says, Is this some kind of a joke? - What did the pencil say to the suspicious piece of paper? I dot my i's on you!
-Heard this from an 85 year old lady in a nursing facility. The mental image of this joke is quite funny!
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Suspiciously One Liners
Which suspiciously one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suspiciously? I can suggest the ones about suspicion and oddly.
- Why are catholic priests called father? Because "daddy" would be too suspicious
- If I had a dollar for every time I was suspicious ... I'd wonder why.
- I hate spending time with my girlfriends family . . . Her husband's getting suspicious.
- Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? Don't know they're just a bit shady.
- My printer died last night under suspicious circumstances. Epson didn't kill itself.
- I should have been more suspicious when the Chinese guy offered to wok my dog for me …
- What do you call a suspicious Arab rapper? Salim Shady
- A communist revolution seems a bit suspicious I mean, they always raise a few red flags.
- I think skiing is rather suspicious >!Its i's are too close together!<
- Silence is golden. Unless you have teenagers. Then it becomes suspicious.
- What do you call a suspicious looking minnow? A little fishy
- I'm always suspicious of stairs. They're usually up to something.
- What do you call a group of suspicious glowing pornstars? Illuminaughties!
- Happy wife, happy life. Happy husband, suspicious wife.
- How do you address the most suspicious letter of the alphabet? Mister E...

Comical Suspiciously Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about suspiciously you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean seemingly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make suspiciously pranks.
A flight attendant sees a suspicious couple on board...
She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"
The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."
Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking
An American flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board and reports it to the captain.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking! There is an extremely s**... female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, almost like she has no idea what is going to happen next. The man she is with is a fat old slob and old enough to be her father. He's very s**..., very sullen and although he speaks English, it is impossible to make out what he's trying to say."
The captain sighed and replied, "look Susan, we've been through this many times before, this is Air Force One..."
Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car...
Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a
car...
... And they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
"We do now, a**...!" shouts Schroedinger.
The cop moves to arrest them.
Ohm resists.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear customer,
We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/i**... downloading on your network.
One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".
Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. He buys a holiday home in Spain, Skis in France, fancies Swedish birds and has a Romanian au-pair.
And the most British thing of all?
"Suspicious of anything Foreign "
I was suspicious or my girlffriend cheating on me with this guy from her gym. So i pick up her phone at night when she's sleeping ..
...and drive to this dude's place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects
A man wanted to prove to his wife that he loved her more than s**......
so he bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. I suppose now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread , said the wife. Why? asked the husband, Don't we have a vase?
Woman goes to a doctor with a t**... lodged inside her...
Doctor: So how did this happen?
Woman: I don't know, I mean I didn't get them from the store as usual, I saw a special deal on eBay, a hundred boxes for $1!
Doctor: A hundred boxes for $1? Didn't that sound suspiciously cheap to you?
Woman: Well I thought that too, so I checked the entire listing and it said plain and clear
One hundred boxes of tampons for $1...
...no strings attached!
Army commando recruitment - from India
A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.
Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"
Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"
If you run at 11 PM you are a night person. If you run at 5 AM you are a morning person.
If you run at 11 PM you are a night person.
If you run at 5 AM you are a morning person.
If you run at 3 AM you are a suspicious person.
A guy is driving happily along in his car with
his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking, Sir?"
"No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?"
"No," replies the officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat broad in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands
When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
You're running around with other women, she charged.
You're being unreasonable, Adam responded. You're the only woman on Earth. The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
What do you think you're doing? Adam demanded. Counting your ribs!
I think I need to find a new doctor, after my last prostrate exam
It's never comfortable to be prodded up the butt, but I got suspicious when the doctor said, I need to go deeper, this may hurt a bit , and then he put both of his hands on my shoulders.
A man is getting ready to go on a business trip...
He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.
The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.
A man is visiting friends in Alabama and decides he's needs a drink so he goes to a local bar
He walks in and orders a glass of wine. Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see a flamboyant yankee. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks you ain't from around here are you?
No sir, He says, I'm from Minnesota
What the h**... do you do in Minnesota the bartender asks.
Im a taxidermist! The man replies.
What the h**... is that!? The bartender asks.
The guy says nervously I umm, mount dead animals
The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar it's ok fellas, he's one of us!
