Suspicion Jokes
38 suspicion jokes and hilarious suspicion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about suspicion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Suspicion Short Jokes
Short suspicion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suspicion humour may include short suspected jokes also.
- My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
- My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion. He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
- I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost. I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
- I've just found out my wife is really a ghost. To be honest, I had my suspicions from the moment she walked through the door.
- Did you hear about the Ninja that couldn't trust anyone? He always had a sneaking suspicion.
- A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid. When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
- I just found out my girlfriend is a ghost. To be honest, I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
- I've always suspected my girlfriend was a ghost. These suspicions started every since she walked through the door.
- I have my suspicions my vet might be gay.. I can tell just from looking at him he's seen a cockatoo.
- A guy's wife was spending a lot of time with the janitor, turns out his suspicions were correct. He was sweeping with his wife.
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Suspicion One Liners
Which suspicion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suspicion? I can suggest the ones about suspicious and suspense.
- I had a suspicion that a robot might be stealing my wood So I checked its log files.
- Yo Mama so ugly... She can't even arouse suspicion.
- What's the definition of suspicion? Nun doing press ups in a cucumber field.
- I have a suspicion that certain herbs can talk... Only thyme will tell.
- There's only one thing I can arouse Suspicion
- My suspicions were correct about the mail running late. The red flags were everywhere.
- Sir, we are arresting you under the suspicion of stealing b**... items. I said thanks.
- What happened when Curiosity took Accusation out on a date? She a**... suspicion.
Silly Suspicion Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about suspicion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean doubt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make suspicion pranks.
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
My wife put on a s**... cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.
After a short trial, I was found not guilty.
A boy was having suspicions that he was adopted...
He decided to sit down with his dad in the living room to express his worries.
Clearly anxious, he hesitantly asked "Dad, am I adopted?"
His dad looked quite surprised but promptly replied: "Not yet, we haven't found anyone who'll take you"
My wife put on a s**... cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.
After a quick trial I was released due to lack of evidence.
An elderly man suspected his wife was losing her hearing
So he decided to test his suspicions. He stood about 20 feet behind her and asked, Can you hear me, my love? But she didn't respond.
So he got about 10 feet away from her and asked her again, Can you hear me, sweetie?
When she didn't say anything, he got up to 5 feet from her and asked her again, Dear, can you hear me?
She still didn't say anything so finally he crept up right behind her and said in her ear, Do you hear me?!
His wife irritably turns to him and says, For the fourth time now, yes! I can hear you!
I once saw an Arab on a flight....
I was kinda shocked when I saw him and looked on him with suspicion. Then he understood what I was thinking and approaching me, he said, "Not all Muslims are terrorists" and we laughed so hard that his grenades fell out of his pocket.
There once was a woman who had 100 children....
She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation.
One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
All the single ladles
Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her all the more curious.
Joe noticed his mother's suspicion. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates."
A week later, Julie came to Joe and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't seem to find the gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it on accident, do you?"
Joe agreed that it was a reasonable possibility, and wrote a letter to his mother inquiring about the ladle. It read, "I'm not saying you 'did' take the ladle, nor am I saying you 'did not' take the ladle,' but the fact is it's been missing since you came to dinner last week."
Several weeks later, a reply came.
"I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Julie, nor am I saying you 'do not' sleep with Julie. The fact is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"
A man was brought to the FBI on suspicion of m**...
A man was brought to the FBI on suspicion of m**.... He argued that there was no way he could have done it, as he was in vacation in Prague for the week of the killing. The FBI took note of his travel records and let him go; his alibi czeched out.
Not mine but worth it
My wife put on a s**... cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.
After a quick trial I was released due to lack of evidence.
I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a t**...
Turns out I bombed the test
A crow was arrested today under suspicion of being involved in a m**...
The judge threw the case out. He said he had just caws.
Daring strategy
After years of loneliness, I finally worked out a great dating strategy. I'll pretend to be gay. I'm going to make tons of chick friends, really get them to trust me, tell me everything… and when they haven't got an ounce of suspicion left – BOOOM!
I'll get their boyfriends!
A man is pulled over by a cop on the suspicion that the man is Driving Under the Influence.
Cop: Are you high?
Man: Am I what?
Cop: High.
Man: Hello.
Zwei Gin Bitte!
During World War 2, two German spies recieved an intensive training in English so they could do their job in London without causing suspicion.
To test their knowledge they enter a pub.
Spies: "Two gins, please!"
Bartender: "Dry?"
Spies (confused): "Nein, zwei!!
